You both simply don't communicate well..why don't you talk to her? You gave her the impression that you can handle every expense in your marriage, so why do you expect her to care about the rent? Also, what kinda of financial sacrifice are you expecting from her when you hv made it clear that you can take care of everything? She's demanding for her 100k, why wouldn't she?? Didn't you tag it 'borrowing' when you were asking her for it? Had it been you simply told her you needed money for something and needed help from her as a wife, she would hv had the option of helping or not but you tagged it 'borrowing'...
You gave room for all these to happen and from all you hv written you both don't communicate as couples. ..

If you think you can no longer handle the family expenses without your wife's contribution, then simply communicate to her just like many people hv advised already. ..or you scared of her or something?

Permit me to laugh a little. I understand how you feel, but you need to accept women the way they are.

90% of women believe their money is their's while our money (men) is our's. Women pen's down every bit of cash they give us (men) whether small or large, and won't hesitate or forget to ask for it. Could remember what happened last weekend.
Was away for a function, got a call from my better half that the fuel in the generator was exhausted, so I asked her to get 20 litters from the filling station that I will refund her when I come back.
Immediately i returned from my trip, she stylishly said, " honey welcome back, I missed you, how was your journey, what did you get for me, ehen! Honey, please can I get my 2k back"? Not minding the fact that she was the one who enjoyed the comfort from the generator. I humbly smiled and hand her the said 2k. She gladly collected it and say thank you honey, I humbly replied, you are welcome.

Fast forward to to yesterday, she said, " honey, please can I get 5k from you, I want to quickly get something "? I handed her the 5k without complaining. This morning while she was preparing for work, I said, MD(my desire), please can I get my 5k back as I will need to use it back this morning? She reluctantly returned my 5k, and I wholeheartedly collected my cash and give her a kiss before leaving for work.

@op, women often believe whatever you collect from them is meant to be returned, while whatever they collect from you is for keep. Don't do it with power, just stylishly let her know that whatever that is good for the goose, is equally good for the gander!

@richyblink:: thank you very much, you have spoken from experience, think this is what I want to hear. Thank you once again

SAMBARRY: 100,000naira is the bone of contention @ kanwulia

hehehehe

I trust you kulyie. Hiding behind and calling on your gang leader to throw the first blow

You are a very foolish and wicked man,u tell ur wife to use her Salary for her upkeep yet u have neva bothered to buy her surprise gifts. Were u want her to replace d 100k? I am a man like you and my wife was a banker now she is at home and holds my ATMs and anything financial that does not mean I won't get her pecks outside just to spice up d marriage.
Do d needfull get her gifts spend UR MONEY on her and watch d mumu swith ON."AkaGum. "

Am not really a fan of 'your money, our money syndrome' in marriages. First of all, if that 100k was kept in ur account by your wife! You have no moral justification to use it. Secondly, you said she's aware that you used the money, under what condition? Did she lend it to you? Do you both agree that you will pay back the money? If yes then pls pay back and don't grumble.
Remember 'businesses does well when friends and relatives pay up their debt'.
If you borrow and pay back, when you have need for it again, funds will still be available for you to borrow. Most women have great ability to save(for rainy dayz). So you should be grateful dat your wife has such ability.
In my family for instance, I do things (family upkeep and stuffs) without bothering my hubby, I don't ask for refund either. But if he borrows from me, as in ask me to lend him money, he has to pay back, this is not beign insensitive to the family needs and all that, but since he's capable of paying back, I always demand dat he does so, except where I decide to waive it on my own.

So OP, communicate more with wifey and stop feeling used. Afterall its your primary responsiblity as the man to take care of her needs as well as that of the family.

sorry for quoting you but you have said it all and yu made my day like seriosly.....@poster you cant be tired of a marriage because your wife is asking yu to return the money you borrowed just try and set your priorities ryt,communicate well with her and dont forget your vow...God will continue to keep your home... Amen

richyblink1: Permit me to laugh a little. I understand how you feel, but you need to accept women the way they are.

90% of women believe their money is their's while our money (men) is our's. Women pen's down every bit of cash they give us (men) whether small or large, and won't hesitate or forget to ask for it. Could remember what happened last weekend.
Was away for a function, got a call from my better half that the fuel in the generator was exhausted, so I asked her to get 20 litters from the filling station that I will refund her when I come back.
Immediately i returned from my trip, she stylishly said, " honey welcome back, I missed you, how was your journey, what did you get for me, ehen! Honey, please can I get my 2k back"? Not minding the fact that she was the one who enjoyed the comfort from the generator. I humbly smiled and hand her the said 2k. She gladly collected it and say thank you honey, I humbly replied, you are welcome.

Fast forward to to yesterday, she said, " honey, please can I get 5k from you, I want to quickly get something "? I handed her the 5k without complaining. This morning while she was preparing for work, I said, MD(my desire), please can I get my 5k back as I will need to use it back this morning? She reluctantly returned my 5k, and I wholeheartedly collected my cash and give her a kiss before leaving for work.

@op, women often believe whatever you collect from them is meant to be returned, while whatever they collect from you is for keep. Don't do it with power, just stylishly let her know that whatever that is good for the goose, is equally good for the gander!

richyblink1: Permit me to laugh a little. I understand how you feel, but you need to accept women the way they are.

90% of women believe their money is their's while our money (men) is our's. Women pen's down every bit of cash they give us (men) whether small or large, and won't hesitate or forget to ask for it. Could remember what happened last weekend.
Was away for a function, got a call from my better half that the fuel in the generator was exhausted, so I asked her to get 20 litters from the filling station that I will refund her when I come back.
Immediately i returned from my trip, she stylishly said, " honey welcome back, I missed you, how was your journey, what did you get for me, ehen! Honey, please can I get my 2k back"? Not minding the fact that she was the one who enjoyed the comfort from the generator. I humbly smiled and hand her the said 2k. She gladly collected it and say thank you honey, I humbly replied, you are welcome.

Fast forward to to yesterday, she said, " honey, please can I get 5k from you, I want to quickly get something "? I handed her the 5k without complaining. This morning while she was preparing for work, I said, MD(my desire), please can I get my 5k back as I will need to use it back this morning? She reluctantly returned my 5k, and I wholeheartedly collected my cash and give her a kiss before leaving for work.

@op, women often believe whatever you collect from them is meant to be returned, while whatever they collect from you is for keep. Don't do it with power, just stylishly let her know that whatever that is good for the goose, is equally good for the gander!

@bolded,

beautiful!

@2nd bolded,

That's the way to go for both parties. Shouting and showing of power just causes unnecessary friction in the home

God bless your home

bukatyne:

@bolded,

beautiful!

@2nd bolded,

That's the way to go for both parties. Shouting and showing of power just causes unnecessary friction in the home

God bless your home

Amen!!! Thanks dear.

That's the essence of this forum ,being our brothers keeper.

If you check my posts on nairaland you will notice I like giving example with myself because of what I have actually learnt from experience. Grew up in an environment that made me venture into some stuffs I was never proud of, school runs (fraternity) careless life style etc. Aside from God, one person that believed I will actually change positively was my better half. Could remember years back when she will visit in the Hood (ghetto) , cook for me, wash for me, encourage me to go back home and unite with my parents and siblings etc. Can equally remember one morning when she went to fetch water, on her way back with the bucket of water on her head, an elderly woman traced her back to my house(ghetto).
The woman called me aside enquiring who she (my better half) is to me. I told she is (was) my babe. In the old woman's voice, "God has heard my prayers (her prayers) and send an angel to take me away from the ghetto. That was the year I actually left the ghetto and said goodbye to every negative life I lived.

Let me not derail the current discussion at hand, will creat a thread concerning my past, and how God gave me a second chance and sent a beautiful angel (my better half) that he created on Sunday morning to liberate me from blindness.

richyblink1: Permit me to laugh a little. I understand how you feel, but you need to accept women the way they are.

90% of women believe their money is their's while our money (men) is our's. Women pen's down every bit of cash they give us (men) whether small or large, and won't hesitate or forget to ask for it. Could remember what happened last weekend.
Was away for a function, got a call from my better half that the fuel in the generator was exhausted, so I asked her to get 20 litters from the filling station that I will refund her when I come back.
Immediately i returned from my trip, she stylishly said, " honey welcome back, I missed you, how was your journey, what did you get for me, ehen! Honey, please can I get my 2k back"? Not minding the fact that she was the one who enjoyed the comfort from the generator. I humbly smiled and hand her the said 2k. She gladly collected it and say thank you honey, I humbly replied, you are welcome.

Fast forward to to yesterday, she said, " honey, please can I get 5k from you, I want to quickly get something "? I handed her the 5k without complaining. This morning while she was preparing for work, I said, MD(my desire), please can I get my 5k back as I will need to use it back this morning? She reluctantly returned my 5k, and I wholeheartedly collected my cash and give her a kiss before leaving for work.

@op, women often believe whatever you collect from them is meant to be returned, while whatever they collect from you is for keep. Don't do it with power, just stylishly let her know that whatever that is good for the goose, is equally good for the gander!

I'm a woman and I totally agree. But this is from the way you guys and our parents have always treated us. You all make us get away with it instead of correcting us. My husband used to have this mentality of I can take care of the home so dont bother. My broda, he was taking care of the home but I discovered that the men in my office were buying cars and building houses with this same salary that I was complaining about. So I had a talk with my husband concerning this issue, I had worked five years and i couldnt account for one kobo, all my money entered voicemail, not that I dont contribute in little ways to the house but I could have done more.

So now I'm doing a project that would probably take me 3 years to complete, my husband has volunteered to help out financially but I have refused, so I can have something to channel my money to. The down side is I dont have as many shoes, clothes and jewelries but I dont really miss them, I feel more fulfilled that I am doing something that would stand the test of time.

My point is why not educate the woman to see money differently, then we wouldnt really have threads here about women complaining of being bread winners, as long as the man isnt lazy. *Justmyopinion*

What's your aim now ? Why stir up contention when there's no need someone asked a question and I answered so what exactly are you driving at?




abeg grow the hell up joor

onirugbon1:


hehehehe

I trust you kulyie. Hiding behind and calling on your gang leader to throw the first blow

kim kardashian
k k..

ku klux

onirugbon1:

hehehehe

I trust you kulyie. Hiding behind and calling on your gang leader to throw the first blow

Thank God you found your wife and kept her.

Finding is one thing; keeping is another

richyblink1:

Amen!!! Thanks dear.

That's the essence of this forum ,being our brothers keeper.

If you check my posts on nairaland you will notice I like giving example with myself because of what I have actually learnt from experience. Grew up in an environment that made me venture into some stuffs I was never proud of, school runs (fraternity) careless life style etc. Aside from God, one person that believed I will actually change positively was my better half. Could remember years back when she will visit in the Hood (ghetto) , cook for me, wash for me, encourage me to go back home and unite with my parents and siblings etc. Can equally remember one morning when she went to fetch water, on her way back with the bucket of water on her head, an elderly woman traced her back to my house(ghetto).
The woman called me aside enquiring who she (my better half) is to me. I told she is (was) my babe. In the old woman's voice, "God has heard my prayers (her prayers) and send an angel to take me away from the ghetto. That was the year I actually left the ghetto and said goodbye to every negative life I lived.

Let me not derail the current discussion at hand, will creat a thread concerning my past, and how God gave me a second chance and sent a beautiful angel (my better half) that he created on Sunday morning to liberate me from blindness.

SAMBARRY: money

I see!

The reason why I can't identify.
Women are always gainfully. . . . .where I come from!

SAMBARRY: 100,000naira is the bone of contention @ kanwulia

POVERTY is a real BYTCH!
What an insult!
UNPHOCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!!!!

Gadddddemmmmmit!!!!

communication is the key. all these small boys that are married men sef

@rich , I would like to read your post relating to your past .
No be say I want do aproko oh(amebo) but you know now .




God bless your home.

Op, I can relate with your experiences about having an insensitive wife. Do not be dismayed by the torrents of responses here who can't really picture out the situation but making you the fall guy for everything gone wrong.

There was once a lady I wanted to marry in the time past. I met her when she was still fresh in the university and dotted on her. At a point I took over her tuition since I have made intention to her peeps of marrying her. The only critics I'd have back then was my mother who criticise my spending spree on her. She warned me of how recklessly I was financially to the girl back then and I responded: "Mom, leave this to me, when she starts working, she will be of assist to me in the family" and my mother laughed her head off and told me: "My son, there you go wrong, NOT every woman you will see a dime from her NO MATTER your effort"
I dismissed her talk but today I know better.

My ex finished schooling and moved in with me and at a point she has need for 400k to sort something that could make or mar her. Her parent almost sold a choice property for this but I'd wade to solve the problem single handedly since she was my Fiancee thereby saving the parents the trouble. Few weeks I did the favour, I had this urgent need for 30k and borrowed the money from my ex from the salary she just received. That was my greatest undoing. In two weeks time of owing her, my pastor, her parents, her uncles abroad, my friends and foes, her friends are already in the know cos she'd report me to them that I took money from her and defaults in payment. It was such so horrible I felt what you are feeling now. An insensitive woman on the prowl. Someone I still feed, cloths and pay her TP even when I'd instruct her to manage her 50k salary to her self. Honestly I felt betrayed!

Few months later, a lot of things happened and the marriage preparation is almost crashing. This time, circumstances brought us before a high ranking police officer who was to solve a situation for us and also doubled as a counsellor. This man sat me down and told me about women. He'd been married for 25years, loves his wife and his wife loves him but told me the woman is so money thrift he has never gotten a dime from her. He told me the woman would rather spend on her extended family than helping him with kobo and that doesn't mean she is not responsible financially to her children sometimes. He made me understand that it was his ex whom he met before her that can give and support him but the wife he dumped her for is not supportive with money at all. The police officer even admitted the ex still lend and dash him money till date. He is a DPO in a busy police command.

Finally, the relationship packed up. It was then It dawn on me that a lady that was a live in lover for over 2 years didn't even bought a single spoon in the apartment let alone something remarkable yet she worked in all of those years and was even planning a wedding with me. IT WAS AT THAT INSTANCE MY MOM ADVICE HIT MY NERVES

SO my dear, you married one of such women whose penny you won't see. Pray when you have kids she might divert her money towards the kids after she'd harass you and didn't bulge.

DPO advice: "Forget what a woman brings to the table and struggle to make things right. Their contributions are always Greek contributions. The give you with right hand and collects back with the left. To them, men will always be s.perm donors and not partners. A woman will always treat her bloodline better than any man she is involve with relationship wise" Be wise!

^^^

hmmm... deep

SeaGold:

DPO advice: "Forget what a woman brings to the table and struggle to make things right. Their contributions are always Greek contributions. The give you with right hand and collects back with the left. [b]To them, men will always be s.perm donors and not partners. A woman will always treat her bloodline better than any man she is involve with relationship wise" [/b]Be wise!

I am sorry you had this nasty experience but this is yours and the Dpo's personal experience.

andromida:

I am sorry you had this nasty experience but this is yours and the Dpo's personal experience.

I am trying to make the OP understand that its a naturally feminine phenomenon to act irrationally. Though not generalisation technically but my perception towards the subject matter is a sufficient basis for fair random sample.

In all, he has to deal with it with maturity cos it can ignite matrimonial conflagration.

SeaGold:

This truth is very bitter.

pickabeau1:

kim kardashian
k k..

ku klux

KanwuliaJara:

POVERTY is a real BYTCH!
What an insult!
UNPHOCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!!!!

Gadddddemmmmmit!!!!

lol apparently you came late

SAMBARRY: lol apparently you came late

Naaaaah.
I saw the OPs original post before it was edited.

It was quite embarrassing.