Dear Sweetheart/gf/wife
The EPL/la liga/champions league is about to start august 16 /September. Please take note of below
key rules.
1. You should read the sports
section of the newspaper so that you are
aware of what is going on
regarding the EPL ,La liga and UEFA champions leagueSoccer, and that way
you will be able to join in
the conversations. If you fail to do this, then
you will be looked at in
a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO
NOT complain about not receiving any
attention.
2. During this new season, the television is
mine, at all times,
without any exceptions. If you even look at
the remote control, you will lose it (your
eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV
during a game, I don't
mind, as long as you do it crawling on the
floor and without distracting me.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and
mute, unless I require
a refill of my drink or something to eat. If
you expect me to listen to you, open the
door, answer the telephone, or pick up the
baby that just fell on the floor, it won't
happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at
least 2 six packs in
the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of
things to nibble on
(except your body parts) and please do not
make any funny faces to my friends when
they come over to watch the games. In
return, you will be allowed to use the TV
between 12am and 6am, unless they replay
a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! If you see me
upset because one of my
team is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's
only a game", or "don't
worry, they'll win next time". If you say these
things, you will only
make me angrier and I will love you less.
Remember, you will never ever know more
about football than I do.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch
one game and you can talk to me during
halftime but only when the commercials are
on, and only if the half time scores is
pleasing me. In addition, please note I am
saying "one" game; hence do not use the
new season club football as a nice cheesy excuse to
"spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very
important. I don't care if I
have seen them or I haven't seen them, I
want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies,
or any other child
related parties or gatherings that requires
my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his
house on a Sunday to
watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The league highlights show on
TV every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not
even think about saying "but you have
already seen this, why don't you change the
channel to
something we can all watch?" because, the
reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions
such as "Thank God it only weekend and mid week . I am immune to these words.
P/S
By the way if you get stuck on the road call
the police or one of your friends.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation.
And the women replied:
Dear boyfriend/husband,
I have just two things to say:
#1 During this new season , all bedmatics too
will have to go on sabbatical leave till
further notice...
#2 I will leave the house for you and your
silly friends. Make sure the house is clean.
Thank you for your cooperation.