I met Ann few years ago when she was 18, fresh, naive and about to go into the university. she was well built, looking 25 and has only known a youth corper who took advantage of her and deflowered her while still in secondary school. Ann was cool, beautiful and focused and that really made me dot lavishly on her. I played a key role in her university academics financially wise until a little hiccup occurred that separated us briefly.

I had a terrible misfortune in our third year of relationship and she came visiting from school to sympathise with me but unfortunately met a platonic female friend also who came around too and that alone made her went into uncontrollable frenzy. It really got messier that day and I told both ladies to leave my house so I can grieve my loss. Afterward, getting Ann for reconciliation remained a mirage until I decided to date my platonic friend. Four years into dating my platonic friend, our marriage intention crashed and Ann yet again find her way into my life. This time she is a grown woman doing her Youth service.

Ann and I got along very well until circumstances of life and reality concerning challenges I did encounter previously overwhelmed me. I then pleaded with Ann to give me 6 months space to really think logically and put my baggage behind. she mistook it that I yet again wanted her off my life which wasn't the reality. we kept in touch since we stays different state. Six month after I called Ann that I want her to be my wife that I'm preparing to come meet her parents over my intention and she said No. I invited her for a talk and she refused claiming I wasn't serious but wasting her time. This made me beg for another two month until she dropped the bombshell that she is getting married to another man based overseas through family arrangement.

Ann hubby came down and they did the wedding and the guy travelled back after 3 days of honeymoon and it is 3 years today yet the guy has not shown face. For the past 8 months the guy has stopped picking her calls and even encourage her to move on. I did warn Ann when she was preparing for the wedding to back off highlighting the danger of "foreign'' marriage but she call bluff my entreaties.

Now Ann just contacted me telling me all this and admitting it was in the bid of proving to me that I ain't the only man in the world that she made this mistake. she cries daily and her hubby parents has refuse coming for their bride price promising their son will surely come back someday. she is perplexed and confused and really don't know how to tackle this ugly mistake. She keep blaming me that I am the only man she has ever loved and I made her commit to a man she hardly know nor love. Actually she is right cos I really played with her emotions.

Finally, she is asking me if i will take her back since I am still single. Nairalanders, how can you help her overcome this challenge and please also factor in my situation into the equation. she is such a nice, Godly lady.

IDEApro:
Finally, she is asking me to take her back since I am still single. Nairalanders, how can you help her overcome this challenge and please also factor in my situation into the equation. she is such a nice, Godly lady.

Keep deceiving yourself @the bolded.


Move on with your life. Is she the only lady in your environment? When there are too many single virtuous ladies waiting for Mr right and you are here having high BP over a lady off the market.

she took decision to marry in her right senses and she should live to bear the consequences of her decision.

I will advice you to tell the lady not to call, text or chat you anymore except you are tied to her wrapper.

If u can take in ur vomit, after vomiting, then u can take her back simple as dat

When you see your soul mate, you will always find a way to be together in spite of the odds.
.
If you are free, you might consider her

Where are all the relationship experts? someone is in need of advice. Please come in and save these dude.

I know a couple today who have gone separate ways before,came back after like 4years separation,and happily married now. If you truly like her,no qualms give her a try. With the way you spoke,you really like her,go get the shot,lover boy.

OP,

We all have to take responsibility for our actions and inactions now or later. Let her take sole responsibility for her actions and carry her cross. There will come a time when you have to be accountable for this dance of death you want to embark on....She is married whether you like it or not.

Hope you have considered the fact that patience is a virtue of a good wife which she clearly lacks. Secondly you might also consider the fact that you are involved with a woman easily carried away by the lucre of an overseas hubby(who no go no dey know.....The bobo might be in jail now sef). A vain female i dare say. Advice her to wait upon the lord and her husband will return.

The decision is yours to dance that dance or not.

Yomieluv: I know a couple today who have gone separate ways before,came back after like 4years separation,and happily married now. If you truly like her,no qualms give her a try. With the way you spoke,you really like her,go get the shot,lover boy.

he should go get her and the husband can go to hell. yeah, very thoughtful and considerate.

trust me @op, if you take her back you are very likely to regret it in the future. from your story, I find the girl be a selfish and an impatient fellow. tomorrow she'll likely wanna go back to her present hubby. she's trouble.

If you love her,give her a chance.

But she has to get a proper divorce first before you go on any official arrangements with her.
3yrs is too long to leave a wife alone. Since the man is fed up,she's free to re-marry
Having no kids makes it even easier for her to move on.

So what exactly is the issue?
She's not asking you to help her cheat on her husband. Dude says she should move on.
You've hurt her in the past too.
And she hurt you too.
But y'all still love yourselves despite that.

The only thing remaining is for the guy to call his parents and demand they accept the returned bride price.
Wetin dey worry them sef?

cococandy: If you love her,give her a chance.

But she has to get a proper divorce first before you go on any official arrangements with her.
3yrs is too long to leave a wife alone. Since the man is fed up,she's free to re-marry
Having no kids makes it even easier for her to move on.

So what exactly is the issue?
She's not asking you to help her cheat on her husband. Dude says she should move on.
You've hurt her in the past too.
And she hurt you too.
But y'all still love yourselves despite that.

The only thing remaining is for the guy to call his parents and demand they accept they returned bride price.
Wetin dey worry them sef?

There are 2 sides to a story. He only got to hear her own. What if the man is in jail over immigration offences and awaiting completion of his sentence to be deported. Could be why the family ain't saying nada? What if the "move on" part is an exaggeration?

Dude comes back to find out his impatient disloyal wife has divorced him in absentia and married her ex. Madness!!!!

TELEMUNDO is titled ANN'S BACK-UP.
Someone is observing and waiting for the concluding episode.

I dnt believe dis story

1stCitizen:

There are 2 sides to a story. He only got to hear her own. What if the man is in jail over immigration offences and awaiting completion of his sentence to be deported. Could be why the family ain't saying nada? What if the "move on" part is an exaggeration?

Dude comes back to find out his impatient disloyal wife has divorced him in absentia and married her ex. Madness!!!!

Yea that too.

But talking based on the given info in the OP

.

Sooooooooo, what makes you think she will be happier with you? SHE FAILED ONCE(for many reasons) in her marriage . . . . .and will FAIL again because of the EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE she will carry from MARRIAGE TO MARRIAGE!
Anyone that leaves ANY SPOUSE for another is NOT THINKING RIGHT! The problems remain UNSOLVED!
She is a RESTLESS woman. . . . Who cannot face marital challenges.
She will run out of YOUR OWN HOUSE. . . . and follow ANOTHER EX in her FACEBOOK account. . . Less than 3 years after getting married TO YOU OR ANOTHER!



The main problem with novices in relationships is that they are OFTEN VERRRRRRRRRRRRY VERRRRRRRRRRRRY DELUDED strong feelings last for ever! HA!!!!!

It is easier and much faster to fall out of LOVE and LUST! It only takes a MINUTE to fall and stay in love. . . . .but takes LESS THAN A SPLIT SECOND TO FALL OUT OF LOVE!!!!(If you are like me oooooooo. . . . . )

Smart EXPERTS like us. . . . .have learned to KEEP THE BEST OF ALL WORLDS!

We do not give up NOTHING for ANYTHING or EVERYTHING!

Variety is the spice of life. . . .and NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT. . . .but CHANGE!!!!

First of all, marriage in Africa is not between a man and a woman alone. If the lady in question has parents and family members, they should have returned the bride price earlier. To leave a daughter 'husbandless' for three years! Something must be wrong somewhere.
Secondly, base on the above, you should make your findings. You should not just accept things as she told you o. She is someone's WIFEY and you don't know the HUSBAND. Toh.
Lastly, if you have true feelings for her and you are sure she has same for you, there is nothing wrong if you 'see' her parents. Probably it is what they are waiting for that has delayed the returning of the BP. WHO WOULD WANT TO LEAVE A DAUGHTER HUSBANDLESSLY. But dear, if you aren't into her as such, a beg leave her o.

Dance of Death

1stCitizen: OP,

We all have to take responsibility for our actions and inactions now or later. Let her take sole responsibility for her actions and carry her cross. There will come a time when you have to be accountable for this dance of death you want to embark on....She is married whether you like it or not.

Hope you have considered the fact that patience is a virtue of a good wife which she clearly lacks. Secondly you might also consider the fact that you are involved with a woman easily carried away by the lucre of an overseas hubby(who no go no dey know.....The bobo might be in jail now sef). A vain female i dare say. Advice her to wait upon the lord and her husband will return.

The decision is yours to dance that dance or not.

Op, you love her, I can feel that. But u broke up, came back together, then you needed another six months again? Then, she says you are guilty about her circumstance and you plead guilty as charged? Op, do you want to be sentenced to marriage of life imprisonment? Guy, as much as you feel with your heart, think with your head, I case my rest.

1stCitizen:

There are 2 sides to a story. He only got to hear her own. What if the man is in jail over immigration offences and awaiting completion of his sentence to be deported. Could be why the family ain't saying nada? What if the "move on" part is an exaggeration?

Dude comes back to find out his impatient disloyal wife has divorced him in absentia and married her ex. Madness!!!!

The husband have severally told her to move on with her life but she'd been the one praying and hoping for better outcome. According to her the hubby even admitted he was pressured into the marriage by his parent since it was a marriage based on family arrangement. She has only spent 3 days with the guy since 3 years of marriage.

Kanwulia: Sooooooooo, what makes you think she will be happier with you? SHE FAILED ONCE(for many reasons) in her marriage . . . . .and will FAIL again because of the EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE she will carry from MARRIAGE TO MARRIAGE!
Anyone that leaves ANY SPOUSE for another is NOT THINKING RIGHT! The problems remain UNSOLVED!
She is a RESTLESS woman. . . . Who cannot face marital challenges.
She will run out of YOUR OWN HOUSE. . . . and follow ANOTHER EX in her FACEBOOK account. . . Less than 3 years after getting married TO YOU OR ANOTHER!



The main problem with novices in relationships is that they are OFTEN VERRRRRRRRRRRRY VERRRRRRRRRRRRY DELUDED strong feelings last for ever! HA!!!!!

It is easier and much faster to fall out of LOVE and LUST! It only takes a MINUTE to fall and stay in love. . . . .but takes LESS THAN A SPLIT SECOND TO FALL OUT OF LOVE!!!!(If you are like me oooooooo. . . . . )

Smart EXPERTS like us. . . . .have learned to KEEP THE BEST OF ALL WORLDS!

We do not give up NOTHING for ANYTHING or EVERYTHING!

Variety is the spice of life. . . .and NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT. . . .but CHANGE!!!!

She beg and begged me to see her parent when suitors pressure was becoming unbearable. When I decided to see her parent she has already given her words to present hubby. in fact she nearly call off the wedding to be with me but but on second appraisal of the situation succumb to her conscience since the guy has expanded resources toward their marriage preparations

bellong:

Keep deceiving yourself @the bolded.


Move on with your life. Is she the only lady in your environment? When there are too many single virtuous ladies waiting for Mr right and you are here having high BP over a lady off the market.

she took decision to marry in her right senses and she should live to bear the consequences of her decision.

I will advice you to tell the lady not to call, text or chat you anymore except you are tied to her wrapper.

You are quite correct but I am the culprit here. I have dumped her twice for other ladies not because she was bad but for my selfish desires. She walked into another man because she was tired of my shortcomings but when I decided to make it up to her, it was already late. Now, she married not for love but to prove a point to me.

IDEApro:


She beg and begged me to see her parent when suitors pressure was becoming unbearable. [size=20pt]When I decided[/size] to see her parent she has already given her words to present hubby. in fact she nearly call off the wedding to be with me but but on second appraisal of the situation succumb to her conscience since the guy has expanded resources toward their marriage preparations

You guys think this is some kind of sick game abi?
Log off and read what you just wrote above. . . IN READ MODE ONLY.
If it makes sense to you. . .log back on.

This is super story a life of strife and sorrow.......



continue the song na

The op, is not saying fables ...Such ugly situations like this do happen, even worst.. the guy abroad could even get the lady pregnant, pay her dowry , even do court marriage , and you wont see him for many month or yrs.. he will rarely pick yur calls and will call out of the blue, anyday he wishes.. the welfare of his nija wife and baby is in God's hands and her parents hands..
thats why, i will never marry a guy staying abroad, no matter wat... thank God, am done with all those wahala with abroad guy.
op, if u love her... u can marry her.. it seems shes a wife material, from your post. so, we shouldnt use one's mistakes in the past to judge a new future, and u , yourself were not that perfect and focused with your relationship with her in the past.. if u want to marry her? pay her dowry, and her family will return it to her 1st husband family...if her first husband family, dont want to collect it?.. she shud file for divorce at the customary court. His dowry will be at the hands of the court and it will be on record, that shes free and divorced from him...
any year, he decides to show up in nija, he will receive news from his own family that his wife has divorced him.

life is too short, to waste precious years or even minute, on Time wasters...

She shud wait for at least a yr and half before filing for divorce at the court, if his family refuse to collect the dowry back.

so decide op, what u really want from this lady... she has made intentions clear and straight to you.. its your turn... do u really love her enough to have her , as your wife?

Methinks from your expressions and usage of words, one can readily deduce that your consideration to bring her back is born out of pity. Marriages/relationships decided on pity doesn't take too long before it crumbles. For you to have 'dumped' her twice in the past shows you are not satisfied with something. In the end, the final decision is yours to make. Good luck!

Kanwulia: Sooooooooo, what makes you think she will be happier with you? SHE FAILED ONCE(for many reasons) in her marriage . . . . .and will FAIL again because of the EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE she will carry from MARRIAGE TO MARRIAGE!
Anyone that leaves ANY SPOUSE for another is NOT THINKING RIGHT! The problems remain UNSOLVED!
She is a RESTLESS woman. . . . Who cannot face marital challenges.
She will run out of YOUR OWN HOUSE. . . . and follow ANOTHER EX in her FACEBOOK account. . . Less than 3 years after getting married TO YOU OR ANOTHER!



The main problem with novices in relationships is that they are OFTEN VERRRRRRRRRRRRY VERRRRRRRRRRRRY DELUDED strong feelings last for ever! HA!!!!!

It is easier and much faster to fall out of LOVE and LUST! It only takes a MINUTE to fall and stay in love. . . . .but takes LESS THAN A SPLIT SECOND TO FALL OUT OF LOVE!!!!(If you are like me oooooooo. . . . . )

Smart EXPERTS like us. . . . .have learned to KEEP THE BEST OF ALL WORLDS!

We do not give up NOTHING for ANYTHING or EVERYTHING!

Variety is the spice of life. . . .and NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT. . . .but CHANGE!!!!

quote of the day