I’ve only been for 7 weddings since I moved back 12
months ago. That’s a pretty small number as there is
a wedding every single weekend. 6 of these were in
Lagos while one of them was in Abuja. I’m going to
share/highlight on the different things I learnt at
each one.
The first one (August 2013) was an engagement
ceremony a few weeks after I moved back. It was
pretty small, the colour was orange and brown. I
didn’t have any trad in those colours so I wore my
mum’s iro and buba. I didn’t wear heels because I
had arrived a day or 2 before and the suitcase with
all my heels was still in transit (it was being
shipped).
1. You do not wear oversized clothes to a wedding.
You have to highlight your selling points. In other
words, you are there to sell your market so dress to
impress.
2. As a lady, if you are not a family member or Aunty
or close friend or cousin that is going to be running
up and down on that day, you have no reason to wear
flats, your heels should be on deck. I learnt this
after one of the groomsmen told me ladies have to
wear heels.
Ever wondered what it’s like to be a hostess at an
event? I can tell you as I was an usher at the second
wedding (September 2013) I attended. The bride
was a choir member and the husband holy police
(Redeemed Speak) at my church so she asked a few
girls in the youth church to usher on her special day.
I willingly obliged and was pretty happy when I
received the aso ebi all the ushers were going to
wear. She wanted uniformity so 6 of us turned ours
into oleku.
3. When working behind the scenes at a wedding,
communication is key. I was the only usher who went
to church for the actual ceremony. The others met up
at one of the girl’s houses where they got their make
up done by one of the girls who is pretty good at
these things.
4. You need to have an affordable, reliable, tailor
that can interpret designs. The closer he/she is to
your house the better for you. The other ushers
sewed their oleku for N500 each. I used my mum’s
tailor who charged N1,500.
5. Being a bouncer can get pretty boring so
they spend their time talking about/analysing
the guests/bridal train/ushers. At this wedding, I
was stationed at the door so the bouncer there was
my gisting partner. He sure kept me entertained!
First, he was yapping the bridesmaids, that they are
old and not the most attractive facially. Apparently,
there was only one of them he could “manage”. He
said his future wife most have fine friends o! He
actually scored these women over 10 and was giving
them pretty rubbish marks. You would think he was
handsome, but he wasn’t. It shocks me how people
think they can judge other’s looks. The third
wedding (November 2013) I attended was my
uncle’s traditional somewhere on the mainland. It
was my first time attending a traditional ceremony
from start to finish and there were a lot of things I
didn’t know happened. My dad is his older cousin so
we sat opposite the bride’s family.
6. If your family member is getting married
and you are on the groom’s side, make sure
you have enough cash in your bag in small but
reasonable denominations like N100 and N200.
I was not aware that the bridal party will come round
to the groom’s side expecting us to give money. At
this point in my life, I was still getting pocket money
as NYSC hadn’t started and I wasn’t earning much as
an intern. We also had to give money to the
musicians and the little cash I had got cleared, even
the pounds (Remember, at this point I was an IJGB; I
Just Got Back)
7. As the groom, make sure your groomsmen
have enough cash on them . At a point in time the
alaga was passing the bowl round to get donations
for herself, she said it wasn’t enough and the boys
should do better. They heard this many times during
the course of the event and I’m sure they left there
with their pockets dry.
The fourth time I attended a wedding was as a
musician. The Bride was a Masters student whilst I
was in undergrad, we attended the same youth
fellowship and I used to play the sax at our
conventions/conferences. The bride wanted me to
play the sax at a point during the ceremony and I
was nervous. The day before the ceremony I was just
like can rapture come so I don’t have to do this. It
didn’t come so I had to man up and play. I had
practised with my friend who has been playing for 11
years so we were pretty tight. The whole thing went
smoothly and the band which we met that day,
backed us up nicely.
8. If you are performing or speaking at a
ceremony, make sure you practise beforehand.
Record yourself and watch it critically so you can
change anything that needs work/needs to be
changed.
The fifth one was a wedding of an older friend at
church. Her mum suggested I get the aso ebi and so
it was my first time tying gele. Remember the last
church wedding I attended, I was an usher, this time
round I was a guest. The bride is an event planner so
everything was well organised. The colours were
really beautiful too, I love yellow. There was a slight
issue with the air conditioning so things got a bit hot
and guests were advised to sit down and not talk too
much as the movement will generate heat.
9. Make sure you have a hand fan and pocket
tissues. They are very essential!
10. If you are a friend of the bride but you don’t know
any of her friends, target someone that you know
can dance so you don’t walk in with a boring person
when you lead the way for a bride to follow.
So I flew from Lagos to Abuja for my sixth wedding.
It was my friends sisters wedding and it was my
second time in Abuja. Yes, that’s right I actually flew
to Abuja for a wedding.
11. When attending a wedding in an unfamiliar
city, there would be a lot of unfamiliar faces, not
many aunties to greet or people you know. So make
sure you have friends other than those in the
bridal party that you can sit and gist with.
12. If you’re a natural haired sister like myself, it
wouldn’t be bad to invest in a wig for that
glamorous look. I’ve got a baby face so look pretty
young, long flowy locks would have made me look
slightly older. Plus, the convenience with wigs is you
can take it off and rock your fro the next day.
13. Alternatively you could invest in beautiful eye
catching accessories or be creative with your hair. It
crowns your face and is very important in making or
breaking your final look.
The seventh wedding I attended actually inspired
this post. It was my family friend’s wedding and it
was a pretty big deal. She’s a very special girl, I had
to hold back tears at some point, it got pretty
emotional at times.
14. When attending a society wedding where a
lot of people are expected e.g. 1,000 find an
alternative route as there is bound to be
traffic. My Aunty was stuck in traffic on one street
for an hour. It took us about 20 minutes to get there
as we used the alternative route even though her
house is way closer to the venue.
15. Sometimes it’s best to just get the Aso-Ebi. My
parents got but didn’t remember to get for me. I
didn’t remember to get for myself so just found
something to wear on the day. I haven’t reached that
age where it’s wedding season in my life and I have
to dole out money every weekend so I have no
complaints to make about the cost of aso-ebi. Certain
souvenirs/party favours were only given to those
wearing the aso-ebi, it was like their reward for
buying it.
16. Invest in nice strappy open toed sandals. I
don’t really have any because I think my legs are fat
and I don’t think they will look good in them. But
these shoes are versatile and more practical than
close toe pointed pumps/stilettos.
17. On my table there were a number of aunties who
had definitely done their make up professionally. I’ve
only had this done once and that was for my mums
50th birthday. As a young lady, it is cost effective to
attend a make up and gele tying class so you
can perfect those skills. You are bound to go for
many parties and weddings in your life time so just
learn how to present yourself nicely instead of
forking out 5-10k anytime you have an event to go
to.
18. If you attend a wedding as a single/with
your parents, people will undoubtedly make
statements concerning your to-be nuptials. E.g.
“Your time is coming”, “I can’t wait to dance at your
own, better shine your eyes.” Just smile and keep
quiet or nod your head. In my head I’m thinking, I
don’t even know what I want to do with my life, I’m
still a corper, haven’t done my masters so I don’t
know where all these people are rushing to.
I’m adding two for Jara so there’ll be a nice, even,
rounded number of lessons.
19. Make sure you eat before you go for a
wedding, anything can happen, food can finish or
you can get stuck in traffic, you just never know and
it’s better to be safe than sorry.
20. Take a picture of yourself before you leave your
house so you know what you look like and so you can
change anything you don’t like about your
appearance.
I’ve only been for a few weddings and I am not an
#AsoEbiBella.
This list is by no means exhaustive and I am sure

Source

balamz: Source

you don kolo abi? someone wrote her experiences and you are looking for source. Source as in spaghetti or Yam source ?

uihebom: you don kolo abi? someone wrote her experiences and you are looking for source. Source as in spaghetti or Yam source ?

anyone

uihebom: you don kolo abi? someone wrote her experiences and you are looking for source. Source as in spaghetti or Yam source ?