Manchester United’s latest new guy on the block, Angel Di Maria, yesterday called United boss, Louis Van Gaal, to tell him that he had picked up a ten month back injury while bending down to check the scores of the MK Dons vs. Manchester United fixture on his television.

The call came in while Van Gaal was watching his side get thrashed by Football League One side, MK Dons, who are currently placed 7th the news, asking to meet Di Maria after the game to analyze the injury with team doctors; but the player has refused, claiming that he has to travel back to Madrid to retrieve his soccer boots.

Reports coming in to FNN claim that Van Gaal has gone a step forward to offer Di Maria a free shopping coupon courtesy of Manchester United to get himself a new pair of boots, but the Argentine midfielder has declined the boss’s offer, claiming that he has diarrhea and wouldn’t want to shit himself on the way to the mall.

In other news, however, United target, Vidal, has told Manchester United reps that he’s close to completing a move to Nigerian side, Kwara United, and won’t be able to join them. in the league and the manager was shocked

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Hahaha nice one. LVG go jst develop HBP

bigtt76: Hahaha nice one. LVG go jst develop HBP

PUHAHAHAHAHAH DIES

lol

Hehehe chai! Man u aff suffer

WOMAN DISUNITED DON SUFFER

Hahaha gd news disvirgin united.

lMAO! Wicked! My heart goes out to all Man.Utd fans the world over. Worse days ahead for y'all. I can't wait to watch Man.Utd play Man. City.