got this from one of the clowns quacks in the health section

Get Your Penis Hard Rock, And Satisfy Your Woman

Hi,
with local training and inheritance from my grandfather in the village, solutions to weak erection is on my fingertips.
just two applications of nature and any woman you meet will never leave you. beware also , if u are not married, use condom cuz u will
be so fertile you will impregnate that woman;
email; onlinesuccess2009@yahoo.com    for more info
yours truly
Acho

more hilarious replies on the topic here

This thread is funny.

One of the 'players' subsequently wrote down on a piece of paper that they don't speak the english version of sign language!

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-306417.0.html

there are host of other funny comments all around nairaland, sometimes i cry while laughing because i just don't like seeing people who are beyond redemption

Hanoobaba:

Mee, I hate pics infact I run away from cameras. Why? (1) I'm skinny with a thin face in other words the camera makes my neck and face become out of proportiom to rest of my body. (2) My two upper front incisor are not the same size. One is oversized and the other one is rather tiny. The wicked cameras will magnify the bigger one and shrink the tiny one which makes me look like an underfed rabbit. (3) Cameras make my poor neck appear longer than they already are and expose the bones and "wells" of my neck.
But if you see me in person omo i be fine boy, even girls know na all of them dey trip. [B] TO HELL WITH THE BLOODY BAD BELLE CAMERAS, THEY WAN SPOIL FINE BOY [/B]

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-294136.32.html#msg4322312

mukina2:





https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-294136.32.html#msg4322312

I almost died with laughter when I read that particular post.

Flash Yr Phone Here

Original Post

Rain touched my phone so i had to sun it then charge it,it was now but there is no service i dnt know if there is a code or how i can flash ma phone

Replies: 

Guy,check your self before posting rubbish next time

Your phone don kpologo

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-308247.0.html

rotflmao

"no, i am honest, this people are pretending that they are omo ale. look one of them , a woman wrote me, that the yorubas should not join benin republic ,because one hausa man in the north is playing with her genital.  So because hausa man or kanuri or igboman is playing with your genital so gbo gbo omo oduduwa gbodo di eru fun hausa.

Just because of one useless genital . we should not join republic of benin, and let war happen and millions killed."

Six months after, this comment by Becomrich continues to throw me off my seat in laughter.

What a comedian BCR is!!!

Jakumo's posts are something else 

Jakumo (m)
Posts: 2219

Offline

Re: Yahoo Boys, Global Economic Slump, And Hard Work
« #6 on: August 09, 2009, 07:22 PM »

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On reading that Washington Post description of the Nigerian internet scammer who wears a good luck live tortoise on a rope around his neck, I quickly placed my own mail-order for a similar live tortoise necklace that I can don prior to any future encounters with roadside Nigerian Police Force tax collectors.

Todd Terry: it is very healthy if killed properly. if shot with poison arrow, DO NOT EAT! you can get poisoned and die!!!! anyway, hippo meat is very tangy and juicy. you will like it fried, boiled, or deep fried, but make sure to add a little cassava with it ooooo

ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

funny posts.

spikedcylinder:

Becomerich is not a well person na. And it helps that he doesn't even realise how funny he is!

That is the funniest thing about him. he doesn't know he is funny. He makes those funny posts seriously and passionately

;d

something about big head in the romance section

Almost all Ajaraewuro post, this is just one of them

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I beleive- the people who live in a jungle should also behave and act like the jungle they live in, therefore, as much as you have the right to call Nigeria a jungle, I am also right to call you such names like snakes, monkeys, lizards, elephants, kangaroos and all the like that can only be found in the jungle- how can human beings occupy a jungle? No way, therefore, I am postulating it here, that you, IYA NGBAYI is a monkey in the jungle called Nigeria and so are all other your people who agrees Nigeria is a jungle.
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-325691.0.html

Guess who could say this?

ogidiboy, you are the first smart person, i would meet on nairaland. what happen to you, did you marry a white woman who open your eyes to civilization. What happen to you, you are a normal human being. I was about to start believe that it look I am one of the few nigerian, whose brain was still normal.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-319788.32.html

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-267761.0.html#msg3825229

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-267761.0.html#msg4405936


ROTFLMAO!!!!! 

@Jarus

Becomerich

Another masterclass from Becoomrich:

And Yar Adua has to do this to be ahead of the team. I have more ideas of running the nigeria system than yar adua minister because I have seen nigeria system and also seen other countries system. And by comparing the two, I would be able to make a better decision. This is how countries like Japan, china , korea have done it. Just go thru their list. People living abroad thier chance of performing better are higher than those living in Nigeria because of international exposure.

Honestly this is why most Nigerian living abroad come here to do. To get exposure to a better system.
If we can pick our best football team from abroad. I think Yar Adua should pick his ministers from abroad and let try the system. [size=14pt]And if after 6 month. Thing does not change. Yar Adua should arrest me , when I come to nigeria, for given him wrong advice. [/size] He should be careful who he picks. But he should not look at accademic qualification but more of experience. It is not about going to school abroad but what you did aboad. Where did you work. We can transform the Nigeria economy.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-331507.0.html

becomerich na you biko o!!!!

another bombshell from the health section quacks Do U Know That Hasma Can Be Cure With Just Snail?

lots and lots of hilarious comments followed

LMGBO!!!, . . . omg! i loff becomrich!

Hmmmmmmmmn seeing this here for the First time

Lmao You guys need to see this

conversation btw mukina2, iice and dani1luv

mukina2

na rocket science?

she be your 'gurl'

dani1luv

muki sorry to say

ABeg go do quick format. . now now. . .


Lmao You'r already confused

mukina2

since your brain dey suffer from over population . .

i mean if she be your 'gurl' ?

dont you ever call her that again

iice

LOL! No mind the chile. . .na the trauma of all that confusion

Daily disintegration of membranes

dani1luv

The gurl sef in queshun nor dey complain

Wetin dey do you. . I dun tel you b4 go do quick format. . . ewu

dani1luv

muki's gone

me n you left in tis' damn thread. .

iice

Be like say we nor read warning label

Warning: Transplant may work, depending on the severity of damage done to the membranes



rofl @ dislocomolotosolution

dani1luv

Are you damn sure that muki clicked the spell check b4 posting

dani1luv

YOu bet! She gone. . and that would be her last post 4 2day


That your yeye dictionary wey mukina compose and you correct abi . .

Abeg go upgrade yrsef 2 oxford jare

The full thread here - https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-321413.800.html