zboyd:

Different views are fine.

However, women are withering on the vine in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond waiting for God -- The Matchmaker to send them a man to marry.

To date -- they still have NO HUSBANDS!!!

At this rate, they may die virgins -- unmarried and childless -- not a grandchild in sight.

zboyd:

Married women aren't the subject here. Why would they be?

If you want the true gist of something, go to the horse's mouth.

Some single women believed their pastors, when he told them to pray and wait for God to send them their future husbands...so they keep waiting...as the years keep marching by.

And...may I remind you that some men aren't marriage material either which some unfortunate women discover, only after they marry them.

As far as the secular world being a normal element of social interactions, I somewhat disagree.

Some Evangelical churches have such a tight hold on their congregants that the pastors control what they wear, what they read, what they listen to, where they can go, who they can socialize with AND who they can marry.

zboyd:

Married women aren't the subject here. Why would they be?

If you want the true gist of something, go to the horse's mouth.

Some single women believed their pastors, when he told them to pray and wait for God to send them their future husbands...so they keep waiting...as the years keep marching by.

And...may I remind you that some men aren't marriage material either which some unfortunate women discover, only after they marry them.

As far as the secular world being a normal element of social interactions, I somewhat disagree.

Some Evangelical churches have such a tight hold on their congregants that the pastors control what they wear, what they read, what they listen to, where they can go, who they can socialize with AND who they can marry.

cococandy: In this day and age?
Frankly I think pity or whatever it is(empathy maybe) that we feel for such women is misplaced.
IMO.

I get real pissed when I see or hear ladies who go on and on about what their pastors say and instruct them to do.
IT IS IRRITATING!!!

The other day it was one church asking all the single ladies to wear wedding dresses to church on one particular sunday to claim their husbands by faith.
And they did.
What nonsense.

I roll my eyes if I'm in church and the pastor begins to pray about the husband hunt. It's silent pressure that these women buy into and begin to feel less than worthy when they don't get theirs 'soon'

Any lady who gets with that programme deserves not my pity.

Even the bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. It should be men running the race and hunting for that good thing with all their might.they should be the ones missing something when they aren't married because according to the bible the wife is a missing rib. right?

Makes you wonder what kind of low self esteem a woman will have to believe she's nothing without a man.
I don't waste my pity on anyone like that.
I understand the need for companionship and love and family.

But the truth is that in most cases that's not even the driving force behind these husband hunts. It's more about social status and belonging to the club. The self worth they then believe they've achieved by adding Mrs to their names.

And I don't blame pastorpreneurs who key into such weaknesses to make some cool cash.

It's so bad now that from 20yrs some girls are already beginning to get worried that their boyfriends haven't mentioned marriage once.

Not realising that the desperation pushes calm and rational guys away.
A normal pretty,educated and wifely lady will get loads of proposals(speaking from experience) that she'll be the one having her pick of men based on the qualities she wants.

But most of our ladies get too desperate early on in life and miss their golden opportunites with the hurry

Or they fail to see the good guys around them when they had hordes of men flocking all around.
Such that when they are older they begin to fret and pastors use them.

Which business man will miss such investment?
I blame such ladies









Wow wow wow am totally amazed with your comment... it really show who u are..Bravo!! you have well spoken. You must be among the few knowledgeable ladies we have dis days.

coogar:

i actually believe men don't cry cos he cannot be manipulated into marrying who he doesn't want in the first place. if the pressure gets too much, he would leave the church & find another. na naija women dey carry church & pastor for head so much that anything he says is seen as the speech of their maker.



so the nigerian society pressure the man to make money & pressure the woman to find a husband? so how come naija men don't scream out they have been manipulated to make money like the women are screaming they were manipulated to marry?

in this day & age, any woman that falls for such tricks fully deserve it. if she's college-educated, she even deserves it in multiples of 50. it's not written anywhere in the bible that a pastor can choose groom or bride for anyone. i can't remember one incident of christ choosing a husband for anyone.



people must be idle there to be listening to such chitchats - when people stop listening, rumour merchants would put their mouths elsewhere. who cares about who's married & who isn't? so the pressure is what's making ladies in their 30s & 40s to strip in church cos they are looking for husbands?

such women should be put in prison for gross stüpidity!



why is he listening to them? family rejection? lolololol. less responsibilities to worry about.



i think naija men are faring better in this than the women. not everyone would marry. some people are naturally not suited for marriage. some people are naturally not suited to even raise children cos they are kids themselves. the society will always have this kinda people & people should respect that instead of forcing every tom, dïck & harry into marriage.

Why are so many women, who go to church year after year, praying to God to bring them a man worthy of marriage, still without husbands?

many single women attend church, because they have been brainwashed into believing that, if they're faithful enough and profess love of God with all their being, He will send them a worthy man to marry.

coogar: another weird thread from zboyd!

she just can't stop with her ridiculous hubby/wifey threads. if women can't use their common sense & apply the intelligence they have garnered throughout their formal education then they deserve to be brainwashed & manipulated.

pickabeau1:

Your points are not clear. In one breath you are condemning men of the flock who manipulate women and in another saying religion is responsible for them staying single. Which is it. The acts of the manipulating men are to be condemned. What I don't get is your stance that church will make a lady single.

gidjah:

I'm female, married, have 4 kiddos (3 girls, 1 boy) and am a practicing Christian. I think for myself and discern for myself, rather than have someone spoon feed me what they want me to think, via their interpretation of a holy book or any other book designed to control my mind.

I can authoritatively tell u that ur sense of judgement came from the kind of church u attend.if u attend a true bible allround, balanced believing church,i am so sure ur pastor will not only frown over this dark painting u've got here,he might be tempted to want to chide u bad!do u have answers to d problem of childlesness or marital spouse people go tru?have bin able to manufacture a child or husband/wife to any one person before? IF U HAD BIN ATROUBLE LIKE THIS,AM SO SURE U WON'T like this .

cococandy: In this day and age?
Frankly I think pity or whatever it is(empathy maybe) that we feel for such women is misplaced.
IMO.

I get real pissed when I see or hear ladies who go on and on about what their pastors say and instruct them to do.
IT IS IRRITATING!!!

The other day it was one church asking all the single ladies to wear wedding dresses to church on one particular sunday to claim their husbands by faith.
And they did.
What nonsense.

I roll my eyes if I'm in church and the pastor begins to pray about the husband hunt. It's silent pressure that these women buy into and begin to feel less than worthy when they don't get theirs 'soon'

Any lady who gets with that programme deserves not my pity.

Even the bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. It should be men running the race and hunting for that good thing with all their might.they should be the ones missing something when they aren't married because according to the bible the wife is a missing rib. right?

Makes you wonder what kind of low self esteem a woman will have to believe she's nothing without a man.
I don't waste my pity on anyone like that.
I understand the need for companionship and love and family.

But the truth is that in most cases that's not even the driving force behind these husband hunts. It's more about social status and belonging to the club. The self worth they then believe they've achieved by adding Mrs to their names.

And I don't blame pastorpreneurs who key into such weaknesses to make some cool cash.

It's so bad now that from 20yrs some girls are already beginning to get worried that their boyfriends haven't mentioned marriage once.

Not realising that the desperation pushes calm and rational guys away.
A normal pretty,educated and wifely lady will get loads of proposals(speaking from experience) that she'll be the one having her pick of men based on the qualities she wants.

But most of our ladies get too desperate early on in life and miss their golden opportunites with the hurry

Or they fail to see the good guys around them when they had hordes of men flocking all around.
Such that when they are older they begin to fret and pastors use them.

Which business man will miss such investment?
I blame such ladies

TV01: Zboyd,

Your undertone of beefing Christianity is still quite evident .



There are also men in this position, but – and listen clearly now;
1. it’s not the remit of the body of Christ to find spouses for anyone
2. the women typically take their issue “husbandlessness” to the church, the church did'nt cause it



1. Brainwashing apart, why is church attendance a bad thing?
2. And why does being faithful and loving God require slavish church attendance or veneration of “robe-clad” ones?
3. I was faithful and loving towards God and God sent me a wife . So yes faith in and love towards God is rewarded.

Having said that, I also wonder about some of the practices that go on in some religious circles. I also believe that people who are truly faithful and love God will be safeguarded by Him.

So please don’t conflate God with perverse religious practices. If women lack an understanding of the marriage imperative, miss it, and then become so consumed by their desires, that they seek succour from religious charlatans, it’s not Gods fault 0! Sorry eh!


TV

zboyd:

First, I am condemning predatory pastors and their minions who use Christian women's fear of never marrying to s-xually exploit them and gain access to their money, in the name of 'sowing seeds', as a way of gaining blessings from God, in the form of God-sent men, worthy of marriage.

Second, it's the single women who have bought into this mindset that are now complaining...not me. I'm just critical of the teaching (belief).

Third, it's the women who formerly embraced this belief who are now shunning it...and finding it ineffective...especially women in their late 30, and 40s...who still have...NO HUSBANDS!

cococandy: In this day and age?
Frankly I think pity or whatever it is(empathy maybe) that we feel for such women is misplaced.
IMO.

I get real pissed when I see or hear ladies who go on and on about what their pastors say and instruct them to do.
IT IS IRRITATING!!!

The other day it was one church asking all the single ladies to wear wedding dresses to church on one particular sunday to claim their husbands by faith.
And they did.
What nonsense.

I roll my eyes if I'm in church and the pastor begins to pray about the husband hunt. It's silent pressure that these women buy into and begin to feel less than worthy when they don't get theirs 'soon'

Any lady who gets with that programme deserves not my pity.

Even the bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. It should be men running the race and hunting for that good thing with all their might.they should be the ones missing something when they aren't married because according to the bible the wife is a missing rib. right?

Makes you wonder what kind of low self esteem a woman will have to believe she's nothing without a man.
I don't waste my pity on anyone like that.
I understand the need for companionship and love and family.

But the truth is that in most cases that's not even the driving force behind these husband hunts. It's more about social status and belonging to the club. The self worth they then believe they've achieved by adding Mrs to their names.

And I don't blame pastorpreneurs who key into such weaknesses to make some cool cash.

It's so bad now that from 20yrs some girls are already beginning to get worried that their boyfriends haven't mentioned marriage once.

Not realising that the desperation pushes calm and rational guys away.
A normal pretty,educated and wifely lady will get loads of proposals(speaking from experience) that she'll be the one having her pick of men based on the qualities she wants.

But most of our ladies get too desperate early on in life and miss their golden opportunites with the hurry

Or they fail to see the good guys around them when they had hordes of men flocking all around.
Such that when they are older they begin to fret and pastors use them.

Which business man will miss such investment?
I blame such ladies

SAMBARRY: You don talk am finish. Oya take I dash you. Go and buy house in Victoria garden City

pickabeau1:

Then your points are clear

Your initial post sounded like a rant on Christianity coupled with an chant on its ineffectiveness in finding men for women

zboyd:

I have no beef with Christianity.

I have a beef with predatory pastors and their minions who exploit single women who truly believe that God will send them a worthy man to marry...something taught to them in their specific churches...just like I was taught...but chose to ignore.

^{CC I hear you about pastor loffas 0! "MyPas" girls l call them. Everything is " my pastor says" . I had to deal with so many of them on my journey to marriage. Sheesh!}

zboyd:
You and anyone else should ask yourself...

What is it about Nigerian society that deems women less than because they're unmarried?

What drives Naija men to refer to single women over-30 as old hags and expired goods, especially if women challenge (disagree) with them?

What makes some Nigerians assume over-30 women are lesbians?

What makes over-30 women lie about their age?

Why...

...is there such a double standard regarding over-30 women, compared to over-30 men?

...do some married women look down their noses at unmarried women over-30?

...do some women throw up single women's unmarried state in their faces, as in "At least I'm married!", especially in the midst of arguments?

...do so many unmarried women think they're 'incomplete' without a 'Mrs.' in front of their names?

...are so many women living lives of quiet desperation, lonely and depressed because they're not married?

...do some women deplore their unmarried state so much that they're willing to marry men other women wouldn't even consider?

This is the type of social conditioning that drives single women into the arms of predatory pastors and their minions and pushes them to do all kinds of outrageous things. And some single women will do just about anything, to end their unmarried state and proudly claim their 'Mrs.' title. And they will hold on to it for dear life, even if the marriage turns out to be unfulfilling and/or disastrous. For them, divorce is not an option.

The only thing worse is being married and remaining childless.

But that's another issue entirely.

TV01:
It's either you have beef or are talking out of ignorance.

The bible is pretty clear
- marriage is pretty much the default
- it's the duty of family to prepare their sons and daughters for marriage
- there is conduct - submission, love etc. - expected from spouses once wed.

Spouselessness is not a church issue. If you so choose, marry, if you like, don't marry. It is not an impediment too, or a criteria for Gods love or salvation in Christ.

There is a fraudulent and parallel system of religion out there. If you mindlessly follow it without seeking God for yourself, there will be consequences.

So which are you?


TV

^{CC I hear you about pastor loffas 0! "MyPas" girls l call them. Everything is " my pastor says" . I had to deal with so many of them on my journey to marriage. Sheesh!}

zboyd:

The only thing worse is being married and remaining childless.

But that's another issue entirely.

coogar:

you nigerian women set those standards - don't lump nigerian men into it.

coogar:

you nigerian women set those standards - don't lump nigerian men into it.

zboyd: A woman who knows her own mind and follows her own counsel, because I'm me and know my own needs, and detest being spoon-fed beliefs I don't believe in and expected to follow, without question.

zboyd: It's said that religion is the opiate of the masses but I refuse to become addicted.

zboyd: And I don't appreciate you insinuating that I'm an atheist or ignorant.

zboyd: Disagree with me, if you will, but do not insult my intelligence.

zboyd: I don't know why some men try to insult women who challenge their opinions, as a way of shutting them up, aka 'keeping them in their places'.

zboyd: That approach has never worked with me and never will.

zboyd: And...if you deny it...you're outright lying.

zboyd:
Usually, women are not calling each other old hags and expired goods - men are.

Btw...I'm not a Nigerian woman...but as a woman...I find it highly insulting and offensive.

zboyd:

What is it about Nigerian society that deems women less than because they're unmarried?

What drives Naija men to refer to single women over-30 as old hags and expired goods, especially if women challenge (disagree) with them?

What makes some Nigerians assume over-30 women are lesbians?

What makes over-30 women lie about their age?

Why...

...is there such a double standard regarding over-30 women, compared to over-30 men?

...do some married women look down their noses at unmarried women over-30?

...do some women throw up single women's unmarried state in their faces, as in "At least I'm married!", especially in the midst of arguments?

...do so many unmarried women think they're 'incomplete' without a 'Mrs.' in front of their names?

...are so many women living lives of quiet desperation, lonely and depressed because they're not married?

...do some women deplore their unmarried state so much that they're willing to marry men other women wouldn't even consider?

This is the type of social conditioning that drives single women into the arms of predatory pastors and their minions and pushes them to do all kinds of outrageous things. And some single women will do just about anything, to end their unmarried state and proudly claim their 'Mrs.' title. And they will hold on to it for dear life, even if the marriage turns out to be unfulfilling and/or disastrous. For them, divorce is not an option.

The only thing worse is being married and remaining childless.

But that's another issue entirely.

TV01:

Just a big unnecessary and incoherent rant.

If a man - of whatever age - decides a woman - of whatever age - is too old for him or too be considered an old hag, he has every right to think that and make his choice of a wife - or no wife - based on that. It may well be crude and uncivil to voice it out, but no one has any right to shame him because of his choices.

You'd be best advised to take your crusade to young women - best write-off the "old hags" - and educate them about the biological and social imperatives that will come to bear in their lives and the expedient of maturing and marrying in a timely fashion.

This will avoid long lines of egg-shrivelled old hags with calcified uteri trooping into religious institutions of questionable nature and parting with large sums to robe-clad men of questionable character and possibly being "coerced" into questionable or immoral activities.

All the best


TV

zboyd: Men have biological clocks too.


Does Age Affect Male Fertility?

http://infertility.about.com/od/causesofinfertility/f/maleagefertile.htm
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dads’ ages affect birth defects

http://www.idsnews.com/article/2014/02/dads-ages-affect-birth-defects?id=96897
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Risks of Older Men Having Babies

Read more: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/44641.php
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Older Men Make Bad Sperm

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/older-men-make-bad-sperm/
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What's That Ticking Sound? The Male Biological Clock

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303936704576400161673484394
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

zboyd:

I have no beef with Christianity.

I have a beef with predatory pastors and their minions who exploit single women who truly believe that God will send them a worthy man to marry...something taught to them in their specific churches...just like I was taught...but chose to ignore.