The ‘Urhobo’ are one of the
many Nigerian tribes, and are
the largest single tribe in the
present Delta State of Nigeria.
They are geographically located
within the heartland region of
the Niger Delta area of Nigeria,
and have an estimated
population of 4 million. They
have as neighbours, the Ijaw
and the Isoko to the east, the
Ukwuani to the North, the
Itshekiri s to the South, and the
Bini to the west. Due to their
close geographical location and
historical connections over the
centuries, there have been
intermarriage relationships
amongst themselves.


What Do We Mean By
Traditional Marriage The Urhobo
Way?


Urhobo traditional marriage by
definition bears some semblance
to the above definitions above.
The similarity is only as far as
the process of marriage revolves
around man and woman.
Urhobo traditional marriage is
unique to Urhobo culture and
traditions. Indeed, marriage in
Urhobo worldview is an
enduring institution. It is sacred.
It looms large enough to tie two
independent families together
forever.

It is imperative to note that the
Urhobo marriage extends
beyond the couples directly
involved; it embraces the
extended families of the
spouses. Indeed, Urhobo
marriage is a marriage of two
families. This is so because the
families play very central roles in
ensuring the success of the
marital relationships from the
time of courtship through the
marriage negotiations to the
contracting of the marriage.

Divorce is rare; Urhobo
traditional marriage endures
beyond the life of the husband.
In fact, it is the wife’s life span.
This is due to the fact that on the
death of the husband, the wife is
passed on to a member of the
husband’s family for continued
marriage. This custom provides
emotional and financial stability,
and continuity of the marriage.
The families are also expected to
intervene or mediate when there
are problems or conflicts
between husband and wife, and
when the marriage relationship
is threatened in any way – this is
in total contrast to the western
marriage system where family
intervention is seen as
interference.

The nucleus of Urhobo
traditional marriage takes
various forms. From time, there
have been some distinct
processes of marriage proposals
or types of traditional marriages.
Any of these marriage forms are
recognised by our society, as
they form key aspects of our
customs and traditions.
These are:

“Esavwijoto” occurs when
parents propose marriage on
behalf of their son or daughter
at an early age. Pledges of this
nature are also made and
redeemed, as a result of
observed exemplary character
of a young girl or boy. It could
be made as a reward for
exceptional valour. The uses or
instances of this concept are
infinite. Normally, with this type
of marriage, love develops
between the couple only after
marriage has been officially
contracted.

"Ose” - Admitting language
limitations in describing one
concept by another language.
Ose is a form of marriage
recognised as binding, but in
which the traditional dowry has
not been paid and accepted as
prescribed. Couples may live
together or apart, but enjoy full
de facto conjugal rights and
exclusiveness but limited
customary (legal) rights of
husband and wife. Some notable
distinctions of this type of
marriage are that such husband
will not be allowed to bury and
mourn his would-be parents in
law, like a fully married man.

“Arranged Marriage in
absentia” - In this case, the male
who is usually abroad or outside
the Urhoboland or even Nigeria,
would request his parents or
family to marry a wife of their
choice for him. Both potential
husband and wife may not have
seen or met each other
previously. During the marriage
ceremony of this type of
marriage, the man’s brother or a
nominated relative would
represent him as husband of the
bride.

The wife may be required to
spend some time with the absent
husband’s family before being
despatched to her new husband.
Love may, or may not develop
when they meet for the first
time. If they like each other, the
marriage may be consummated,
and is likely to survive. In some
cases, either party may refuse to
go ahead with the marriage, and
call it off.

“Boy-Meets-Girl and Modern
Courtship” - This is more or less a
modern concept and is not
unique or particular to Urhobo
culture or tradition of marriage
terms.

This process has become one of
the current approaches used by
modern day boys and girls. In
most cases, the parents may not
know of the initial courtship until
their son or daughter informs
them. Both families then get
involved. If they agree, marriage
plans are then made. The process
may first be to do the traditional
marriage rites, before
proceedings to either the Church
marriage or the Registry .
“The Marriage Process - This is
the final stage of the traditional
marriage arrangements.
Whichever of the above routes
the process of courtship or
engagement may have taken,
family consent is imperative
before the marriage process is
finalised.

The marriage ceremony follows
the meeting of both families.
Both families would meet at the
bride’s home. An advance notice
is given to the bride`s family for
the visit. On the said day, the
groom’s family will arrive at the
bride’s home. First the bride’s
family will welcome them. Drinks
and kola nuts supported with
some money will be offered to
the visiting family, as is
customary in Urhobo tradition. A
spokesman for the bride’s family
will make the presentation of the
drinks and kola nuts with the
money to the visiting family. The
visitor’s spokesman will accept
the presentation on behalf of the
groom’s family. After this initial
customary entertainment, the
visitors are asked the purpose of
their visit.

The visitors would inform the
bride’s family that they have
come to marry their daughter
for their son, who may or may
not be present at this protocol. If
the bride’s family accepts this
explanation, they would go
through a process of the
identification of the bride they
wish to marry. The visitors
would be told that the family has
many daughters; as such, its
members do not know which of
their daughters their son would
like to marry. The bride’s family
would then bring out a girl who
is not the bride, and parade this
girl in front of the groom’s
family. The groom would reject
this girl saying that she was not
the one he wants. This formality
would be repeated about three
times. Each time a girl is paraded
and rejected, the groom’s family
would be asked to pay the
rejected girl some money. Finally,
the bride is presented to the
groom to confirm the true
identity of his chosen bride.
Once this process is concluded,
the bride’s consent would then
be obtained. That is, she will be
asked if she is willing to marry
the groom. The family of the
bride can only receive the dowry
if she consents to marry the
groom. This process is only a
formality on the day because in
most cases, the dowry amount
and all arrangements would
normally have been agreed
upon. That is, both families
would have reached some
understanding. The groom or his
family would pay a dowry to the
bride’s family. The dowry is the
price money paid to the bride’s
family on account of the bride.
It is worth mentioning here that,
it is customary that before the
stage of pouring the libation is
reached, that the potential
husband and his family would
pay several visits to the family
of the bride to be. The purpose
of these visits is to negotiate and
to meet certain pre-marriage
requirements stipulated by the
bride’s family. For example: the
dowry would be negotiated and
agreed beforehand; the bride’s
uncles, aunts and the bride’s
father and mother would be
bought several gift items, such
as walking stick and hat, etc, for
the bride’s father; wrapper,
tobacco, etc., for her mother, and
other items for her uncles, aunts,
and other relatives.

Upon acceptance of the dowry,
the bride’s father pours a
libation. The libation is poured
using a native gin (ogogoro) or
may be represented by Gordon
gin and kola nuts. The bride’s
father offers a prayer / blessing
for the couple. At this point, the
bride sits on the husband’s lap.
The blessed drink is handed to
the husband who drinks first; he
then hands it to his wife to drink.
The wife would drink and pass it
back to her husband to finish, as
a sign of respect. Then only are
they declared husband and wife.
Both family members present at
the ceremony, would then
shower the couple with money
as gifts. The girl's parents will
pray for the both of them and
the bride groom will be warned
by the bride's parents that he
should never beat-up their
daughter for any reason
whatsoever. The parents of the
bride will present her with lots of
gifts to take to her new home.

She will hug all her friends, her
siblings and give them little gifts
to remember her by. The bride is
escorted to her husband's house,
on the way to his house; certain
people will stop them on the way
and ask the groom to pay some
money so that he can take his
bride home.

"Esuo” - This term describes the
final stage of a full marriage
according to Urhobo custom. It
denotes the completion of all
antecedent requirements
necessary on the part of the
husband. It is the escorting of
the bride by her family with her
properties, goodwill, to the head
of the husband’s family, and
handing over until death of the
bride as wife to the groom’s
family. A special ceremony is
usually performed to invoke the
husband’s ancestors to also
receive her, and bind her over in
fidelity to their son – the
husband. The entire women
receive the bride, eat and dance
in the special room prepared for
her till dawn of the following
day .


The Marriage List - Settling and
Payment of Bride Price and
other Traditional Nuptial fees


1. Igho-rẹ- erhu, ubiọkpọ vẹ
ogbru (fee to honor the bride’s
father, usually intended for him
to purchase for personal use
erhu ( hat), ogbru (man’s
wrapper) and ubiọkpọ(staff or
traditional walking stick)

2. Igho-ugbe-rha-re (fee to
recognize and to show
appreciation for the mother’s
labor pains during the birth of
the bride)

3. Igho-ru-ughwa -raka (fee
required to buy a bag of salt for
the women of the bride’s family
to compensate them for their
services)

4. Emu-ra-aye (bride’s fee
negotiated between
representatives of the families of
the bride and bridegroom’s
families and presented by the
Head of the bridegroom’s family.
Formalizing the Marital Union

1. The bride is led in surrounded
by her bridesmaids to stand
before her father or the Ọkpako-
r’-orua, the Head of the bride’s
family.

2. The Head of the bride’s family
calls on the bride and
bridegroom, and both of them
move forward and knee down
before him.

3. The Head of the bride’s family
initiates the process of
formalizing by presenting a brief
account of the lineage of the
bride.

4. The Head of the bride’s family
now begins the process by
holding up a glass of drink and
invoking the name of God and
the memory of the ancestors in
prayers, calling on them to bless
the new life now commencing
for their descendant or child and
the man who has asked for her
hand in marriage.

5. The Head of the bride’s family
concludes his prayers by
pouring libation (offer of drink
from the glass to God and in
remembrance of the ancestors).
He leaves some of the drink in
the glass which he offers to the
bridegroom to drink. The
bridegroom after drinking some,
in turn passes the same glass to
the bride to drink whatever is
left, to signify her consent to the
marriage.

Drinking from the same glass is
thus the bride’s
acknowledgement that the Head
of her family has indeed spoken
for her, and the signal needed to
Indicate that members of the
groom’s family are now
recognized as in-laws. The bride
now returns the glass through
the groom to her family Head, a
process that essentially declares
the couple’s willingness and
commitment to live together as
husband and wife.

6. The bride is handed over to
the Head of the groom’s family,
who henceforth assumes
responsibility to ensure that the
husband and his family will take
good care of their new wife. The
bride is directed to sit on the laps
of her new husband in their first
public display of life together as
a married couple

7. The public reacts to the display
by showering gifts on the
newlywed as both remain sitted.
Wedding Dinner and other
festivities


Dinner is provided by the bride’s
family for the in-laws and their
friends who witnessed the
occasion before the bride is
taken away.

pictures of Urhobo Traditional Marriage

Evestar200: pictures of Urhobo Traditional Marriage

are you an Urhobo girl?

Raiders: are you an Urhobo girl?

Yes I am, any more question

More

more

are you expecting people like me to read this long article without any reward. you better get me one of those ladies

op. the best way to prove all this is to get me an urhobo babe......

Raiders: are you an Urhobo girl?

yes i am



Makashe Ibru and Kayode traditional marriage

Where are mods of this section? And why is my thread still in d back page?


more from Makashe Ibru and Kayode traditional marriage

Dr Sid ( Onoriode Esiri) Traditional marriage

Evestar200: Where are mods of this section? And why is my thread still in d back page?

you go fear query na

Evestar200: Where are mods of this section? And why is my thread still in d back page?

with this looong article and for the sake of people counting on mega bite (heavy photos) I'm sorry it can't near front page. If you want it to make front page through the back side,you better remove that Dr sid and replace it with Tonto Dike's photo (mind you it must be her traditional marriage photo)

Evestar200: yes i am

Ok. I always like Urhobo girls. I hope to marry one oneday

Raiders: Ok. I always like Urhobo girls. I hope to marry one oneday

ok, we re expecting u.

more

Iam a man who do things fast fast, sharp sharp,ahead ahead. I don't like reading too much episode.

Just summarise pls because I love AFOKE so much though she still dey do shakara. But of a truth Urhobo women are just too good. Yes they have been tested and they are trusted. I love them.

Raiders: Ok. I always like Urhobo girls. I hope to marry one oneday

it is imperative to note dat Urhobos dnt sell their daughters. Whether old or young wen d bride dies she is taken back to her father land for burial.

LOVE these pictures! The Urhobo culture is amazing!

Hmmm. You don sell us out small small babe, let them come and witness it by themselves. Long live my people!

guffywealth26:
Hmmm. You don sell us out small small babe, let them come and witness it by themselves. Long live my people!

hahaha, how i take sell una out?

Urhobo wado
mini wado.............


how lovely pics

robosky02:


Urhobo wado
mini wado.............


how lovely pics

Oniovo mavor

very lovely piece well done op.
sometimes i wonda where i wud've love to come from besides urhobo...
urhobo wadoo

okeyben10:
very lovely piece well done op.
sometimes i wonda where i wud've love to come from besides urhobo...
urhobo wadoo

i want the mods to put this on front page

Evestar200:
i want the mods to put this on front page

proudly urhobo...... lets chat privatly

dennismukoro:
proudly urhobo...... lets chat privatly

hmmm, okay

If u can reformat the original post it will be easier to read. It's all jumbled up without distinction on where a sub-heading ends and another begins. I'm really interested in reading this article cos I'm Urhobo and know nothing about our marriage process

Evestar200:
i want the mods to put this on front page

It can get to front page just try and rearrange the article it doesn't look readable

Bigfrancis21, Fulaman198, Seun Seun

Funjosh:


It can get to front page just try and rearrange the article it doesn't look readable

Bigfrancis21, Fulaman198, Seun Seun

thanks

more

HMMMM, I THINK AM IN LOVE ALREADY.

WHERE IS THE URHOBO LADY NAH.

i dy here o

OlaRB:
HMMMM, I THINK AM IN LOVE ALREADY.

WHERE IS THE URHOBO LADY NAH.