Founded in Pakistan by Osama bin Laden, Al-Qaeda has become the best known and most hated terrorist organization on the planet. Ever since 1988, Al-Qaeda has served as “the base” for worldwide jihad, and we’re all familiar with their various crimes. However, when they’re not making headlines for blowing up buildings, Al-Qaeda terrorists are dreaming up business schemes, devising some pretty weird plots, and generally acting, well, strange. For example:
10: They Occasionally Show Remorse
Al-Qaeda isn’t exactly known for its incredible sensitivity. After a “successful” attack, the head honchos usually release a celebratory video, decrying American imperialism and preaching death to the infidels. However, on a few occasions, Al-Qaeda has stunned the world by publicly saying, “We’re sorry.”
We’ve already read about how Al-Qaeda operatives in Syria accidentally beheadedone of their own guys, leading to some friction and a quick apology. But there’s a big difference between saying sorry to coworkers and apologizing to your enemies. One is awkward, and the other is downright humiliating. But despite the embarrassment, Al-Qaeda once showed remorse for an attack that didn’t go according to plan.
In 2013, the Saudi branch attacked the Defense Ministryin Yemen. Angry about recent US drone strikes, they felt justified in taking their frustrations out on the Yemeni government. However, their commander, Qassim al-Raimi, gave strict orders to avoid the nearby hospital. Evidently, one of his men didn’t get the memo (or just didn’t care) and murdered 52 patients and staff members.
Blowing up hospitals is always a bad PR move, and al-Raimi decided to smooth things over. In a video released by Al-Qaeda’s media outlet, Al-Malahim, al-Raimi said the attack was against Al-Qaeda’s morals. “We confess to this mistake and fault,” he admitted before giving his condolences. He even offered reparations to relatives of the victims. What a nice guy!
Surprisingly, al-Raimi’s video is just one of a rapidly growing series of bizarre apologies. In 2009, the group said they were sorry for murdering Muslims, and in 2007, bin Laden himself apologized for killing Muslims in Iraq. Of course, these videos probably have more to do with appearances than guilt. It’s a move to gloss over the fact that Al-Qaeda kills more Muslims than non-Muslims. Between 2004 and 2008, Muslims made up 85 percent of the group’s casualties. For an organization that’s supposedly protecting the faithful, that’s a pretty bad track record.

9: They Do A Lot Of Paperwork
Most people hate office work. Poring over forms, staring at spreadsheets for hours on end . . . it’s miserable work. But your mind-numbing 9-to-5 is nothing compared to the daily grind of an Al-Qaeda agent. Their bosses are basically extremist versions of Bill Lumbergh who require employees to fill out stacks and stacks of expense reports.
Al-Qaeda’s obsession with paperwork stems back to 1976, when bin Laden studied economics in college. Later, in the ‘90s, bin Laden ran Sudan’s most powerful conglomerate and made it company policy for workers to keep track of every single purchase, no matter how small. Old habits die hard, and when bin Laden formed “the Base,” he decided to run the organization like a corporation.
It doesn’t matter if they buy a cache of weapons or a bottle of mustard, Al-Qaeda operatives have to get receipts for everything. When UN Peacekeepers searched an abandoned base in Timbuktu, they found over 100 receipts for soap, macaroni, glue, and even a broom. And this obsessive record keeping isn’t just practiced in Mali—cells in Somalia, Afghanistan, and Iraq religiously fill out invoices, detailing every cent they spend.
In addition to keeping track of who buys what, Al-Qaeda has files brimming with budgets, job application forms, salary info, and even memos from their HR department. Yes, you read that right—Al-Qaeda has an HR department. While this corporate strategy might sound ridiculous, it serves two very basic functions. First, it keeps the organization running smoothly. After all, terrorism is ultimately a business. Second, it helps the brass keep track of the foot soldiers. Most Al-Qaeda branches operate with little supervision, and it helps supervisors keep their men in check if members have to submit invoices in triplicate.
Things can get pretty rough if you don’t follow protocol. Or at the very least, you’ll get a good nagging. Mali-based jihadist Moktar Belmoktar was not a good employee. He never showed up for meetings, and he often neglected important phone calls. Even worse, he skipped over paperwork. Fed up with his negligence, the North African leaders sent Belmoktar a 12-page letter chiding him for his poor work ethic, taking him to task for a number of infractions, such as accepting a $900,000 ransom instead of the originally planned $3 million. Eventually, Belmoktar decided Al-Qaeda was too constricting and created his very own terrorist group. Even terrorists want to be their own boss.

8: They Host Family Events
Describe Al-Qaeda in one word. Did you say “radical,” “fundamentalist,” or “evil”? Chances are good you didn’t pick “fun.” But despite its moderately strict interpretation of Sharia law, Al-Qaeda certainly knows how to throw a party. In 2013, two Al-Qaeda branches (one Syrian, one Iraqi) took a break from battling the Syrian government to host a family fair.
The extravaganza featured a number of fun events, including tug-of-war between Iraqi and Syrian terrorists. The jihadists organized an ice cream eating competition for the boys and—proving they believe in equal rights—a Quran recitation contest for the girls. In addition to the games, there was plenty of food, and terrorists passed out bread to hungry kids. As bizarre as it seems, the strategy was pretty sound. Feed hungry children, give them ice cream and games, and you become heroes.
Inspired by the festival’s success, the Iraqi group held a second event later that year. Only this time, members passed out Spiderman dolls and, believe it or not, Teletubbies. Who would’ve thought Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Po were actually undercover Al-Qaeda agents?

aw do u know are u one of them @ op?