Mention:
Badoo

msmon: Bail is FREE!

Adetayo100: Those black fools aren't our friends at all, if i were the President of this country i will scrap the police force; they are our biggest problem in this country

CharlieMaria:
Just one word for you: you have not encountered a police man. If you do come back and let's talk.

lionduke: “Police is your friend,” an officer would proudly say.

“Go tell that to the marines,” is the likely reply he would get anywhere outside a
police station.

We are now outside a station, specifically at Maryland junction, where the men-in-
black/blue/camouflage/orange are going about their ‘duties’. Police man, u dey blow big big grammar oooo. Where u come dey when "oga at the top" become chairman? Abi na u be the anonymous oga at the top?

Some are controlling traffic but our ‘specimen’ for experiment are those flagging
down vehicles and asking for their particulars and other ‘things’ of interest.

We spot a rather cheerful one in their midst and conclude he would be our ideal Man
Friday – the one to tell us the reason for the seeming animosity between the police
and the policed. We are right.

Note: We narrowed our ‘research topic’ to altercation during ‘stop and search’ for ease
of…writing!

So, here are the six things you do that annoy a police officer on ‘stop and search’.

1. NO ‘HELLO’ OR ‘HI’

If we stop you for routine check while driving or walking, we don’t like you calling a
so-called superior officer of ours on the phone. The worst part is handing us the
phone to continue a conversation we didn’t initiate. Imagine this awkward chat:

So-called Superior Officer: Yes, who are you please?

Me: Who are you too, please SIR?

SSO: It seems you want to lose your job. Do you know who you are talking with?

Me: I don’t know; that’s why I’m asking SIR

SSO: The person you are harassing…

Me: (cuts in) Harassing? I’m just doing my job…

SSO: (cuts in) Which job? The job you are about losing? My friend, will you release
him immediately before I call Alausa?

Me: Ok sir. Ok sir.

I hand over the phone as well as your incomplete papers. You smile but I know it
deserves a punch in return. Who am I to do that in broad daylight? I mark your face
and car, though.

2. USE, MISUSE, AND ABUSE OF ‘ESPRIT DE CORPS’

You, a bloody civilian, just blurt out those words ‘Esprit de Corp’ once we flag you
down. You are not a police officer. Neither are you in the navy, army, or air force.

You are not even in the civil defence or boys scout. Perhaps I could forgive you if
you are a staff of LASTMA!

“Esprit de Corps, Esprit de Corps,” you look so learned and educated yet you don’t
know the meaning of the words.

Let me educate you.

When we say those words, we are referring to the common spirit existing among
members of a group that inspires enthusiasm, devotion, and strong regard for the
honour of the group. It’s like feelings of loyalty, enthusiasm, and devotion to a
group among people who are members of the group.

You and I are not in the same category, sorry, group.

3. GALLANT MOPOL AND OTHER FUNNY BANNERS AND
STICKERS

Related to the point above are the funny banners and stickers you hang on your
front mirror and windscreen.

Gallant Mopol! Navy! Army! They announce.

Sometimes, we are magnanimous enough and listen to your explanation that the
vehicle actually belongs to your father’s uncle’s son in the army, but most times,
you allow your ‘Gallant Mopol’ to intoxicate you with Dutch courage and challenge
our ‘audacity to stop’ you.

That’s when we remind you that you are a bloody civilian after all!

4. ‘DON’T YOU KNOW I AM A LAWYER’ AND OTHERS WHO KNOW
THEIR RIGHTS

“Don’t you know I’m a lawyer? I know my rights and if you infringe on my rights, I’ll
sue you. Sue the IG; sue the federal government.”

We have no problem with you being a lawyer or knowing your rights as a citizen of
the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

In fact, we love relating to learned gentlemen and women who have a copy of the
1999 Constitution resting above their dashboard. It shows you read and we know
readers are leaders.

What we don’t like is you acting ungentlemanly; screaming like a drug peddler in a
commercial bus just to pass your message across. We love your energy but we
believe it can be put to better use – like in the courtroom.

5. TOUCH NOT MY ANOINTED
…and do yourself no harm!

Sorry, for corrupting Ist Chronicles 16:22, but it best explains how I may react if you
go beyond using your speech organs in our interaction.

It’s so disrespectful touching an officer on the chin, shoulder, waist, wherever, just
because you want to buttress your point.

I could choose to ignore your insults, stare, and any other ‘tactic’ you adopt as
survival mechanism while with us.

I won’t ignore your touch.

6. IT IS MY OFFICE FOR PETE’S SAKE

However you view it, I’m in my office when on the road and you must respect my
office, notwithstanding that it’s on the road.

When you go to a bank, do you fill deposit slip when withdrawing cash?

When you go to a hospital, do you prescribe drugs and injection that the doctor and
nurse will administer on you?

Why then do you treat my office with contempt? Why can’t you obey simple
instructions?

What’s difficult in comprehending: ‘’Can I see your vehicle particulars?’’

You know your vehicle insurance has expired, so why wait until you are asked?

We are here to serve you and believe me: ‘’Police is you friend

Copyright 2014 The Cable.

www.thecable.ng

fyneboi79: Of course yes.Its more of a paramilitary service for that period ‎u r in uniform. ASP or second lieutenant rank.

Ekundayo7:
Because you are then set up as easy target and didn't dash your "protection" waiting outside o

SStoneCCold:
May her soul rest in peace.

wordsbase: The easiest way to get away from a police stop and search interrogation is to immediately ask for directions to a place, feigning you're a visitor.. It has worked many times for me.

Gentlebabs: The next time a Policeman stops you, You say "Good morning Mr. Uche, How is your family". Knowing you present or actually care a little could melt any purported ulterior motive. You - lol get a better result when you try to call him using his sign call. Hence I have decided to make it available to those who are not acquainted with it (Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Gambia, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Serial, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whisky, Xerox, Yankee & Zulu).

Try spelling your name using this sign calls. Mine is: Bravo Alpha Bravo (Babs). Signing out. Cheers!

lokito: They are not our friends jare.

One angry Army man asked my friend a simple question, my friend was like "I know my right and i...." Army hausa man didn't allow him finish his statement, see many many slaps like seven-in-one knockout (banger) sound.

Furious Army man shouts at him "you see those 500 blocks across this gutter carry all of them cross over back here now"
Politely my friend started carrying the blocks.

One hour later, The Army commandant was driving past and saw my friend, who happens to be his Lawyer carrying blocks. Commandant scolds Army man seriously then turns to my friend and asks "my brother don't be angry please, how many blocks have you carried so far?"
My friend says 300 blocks. Commandant says "don't mind that fool, take the 300 blocks back" LOL!!!

You see, POLICE oh, Army oh none of them is our friends at all

lokito: They are not our friends jare.

One angry Army man asked my friend a simple question, my friend was like "I know my right and i...." Army hausa man didn't allow him finish his statement, see many many slaps like seven-in-one knockout (banger) sound.

Furious Army man shouts at him "you see those 500 blocks across this gutter carry all of them cross over back here now"
Politely my friend started carrying the blocks.

One hour later, The Army commandant was driving past and saw my friend, who happens to be his Lawyer carrying blocks. Commandant scolds Army man seriously then turns to my friend and asks "my brother don't be angry please, how many blocks have you carried so far?"
My friend says 300 blocks. Commandant says "don't mind that fool, take the 300 blocks back" LOL!!!

You see, POLICE oh, Army oh none of them is our friends at all

Pavore9: Hmm..Oga officer we have noted what annoys you, l hope you also have a very good idea of what annoys law-abiding motorists, remember if the road is your office, we are the ones paying your salary.....let the respect be mutual!

zudozz: D police men in festac are d worst on d face of d earth! The keep checking people's phone for email address to negotiate bail n extort money while robbers n real criminals are busy having a field day. When there are not doing this they are chasing okada people to seize d okada n extort money. If d okada is very clean they ll seize it n give it 2 their small aboki boys 2 drive n bring return 2 them They dont chase thief at all. Another thing they dont go on transfer If u transfer them to agboju (nearby area outside festac) I heard they use more than 400k 2 bribe 2 come back 2 festac 2 continue checking people's phone or stand beside banks 2 share money with ''job men'' that are coming out from western union with dollars! FESTAC POLICE IS USELESS N CORRUPT N THIEVES! ARMED ROBBERS DONT COME 2 FESTAC D POLICE IN FESTAC ARE D ROBBERS!

Gentlebabs: Sometime in 2012, I was driving to Unilag for an exam which I was already late for. Before I negotiated 'Oja', I'm my quest to get to the hall quickly, I entered "That Lane" that most people still do not know is ONE - WAY. It took a passer - by whom I did not even know his face to hulla "One way - One Way" for me to realise and suddenly began to re - negotiate the road, but it was too late. The officers on duty quickly used "Okada", blocked me like they have been waiting for me to breach the law. Immediately I saw them, I removed my car key and gave it to them, acknowledging guilt & told them there is no ignorance in law. Fortunately for me, I know the Sign - calls from A - Z. As a Marketer, i addressed the officer that approached using his name tag "Uniform Charlie Hotel Echo". He looked at me & asked me to identify myself; for which I told him with a smile "I am a bloody civilian". With my car key in his hand, he looked at me in depth and said, "Chai! If not for your humility?. Just show us love". Unfortunately, I had just about #400 after buying fuel. I appealed to him that I am not buoyant at the moment, he should please forgive. He did, I left for my exam without paying a dime for an offence that is not less than #............. (You know how much you paid when you were caught).

Morale: Police is your friend. If you see them as your friend, you will be courteous in your approach and response. Who knows, it could be a win - win situation for you. This strategy still works for me like the talisman of India. Cheers!

tiarwale: OMG u need help ASAP.

coolme434:
LOL u shouldn't have shared that here na, kk let me give nairalanders another clue, if u're driving and you spot them first, just act like your ride is faulty and try pushing it, they go even help u push am comot for their front so that better prospect no go run

nwachinemelu: Let FG change their uniform,d black outfit makes dia heart so black,some of dem dnt evn wash dia uniform,,,let dem introduce anoda colour to dia uniform it will definetly come good of them!