[img]http://cathyeroms.files./2012/01/danfo-bus.jpg[/img]

1. The co-driver: In a Danfo bus, you’ll normally find a driver, bus conductor and other passengers. Among these other passengers is a co-driver i.e. a self acclaimed one. You’ll often hear him from the back seats giving orders to the driver on where to follow, how to step on the brake, how to swerve onto a new lane etc. And the driver most often respond: “Na you dey drive?” Or “You wan collect steering for my hand?”

2. Red Alert: Imagine yourself inside a danfo bus and the driver is running on what seems like a top speed. Then all of a sudden you hear a voice break into your chain of thoughts. More like a scream: “Ahn ahn, driver you wan kill us?” Or “Driver please take it easy o. I never marry.” Sometimes the co-driver doubles as a “red alert”. Other times another passenger plays that role. The main goal is to caution the driver so that we can all arrive safely.

3. Preacher man: Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand. With the preacherman in your bus, you can barely hear yourself think. Forget about receiving calls in that bus. If you do, you will hear the person on the other line asking, “are you in church?”. The good thing about a preacherman in your danfo bus is that you get reminded that heaven and hell is real. “If we all die now, where will you go? Heaven or hell?” Some passengers stare at him in anger. Why should you say if we all die now? Yes, of course we want to make Heaven. No we won’t die in this danfo bus.

4. The pervert: One day I was in a danfo bus and I heard a woman say in a loud voice “if you try that again I will slap you.” She was referring to the young man sitting beside her. The story was that the man was rubbing his elbow against her bosom. You can’t really tell who is rubbing what because some of these buses are usually so jam-packed. The best thing is to position yourself well. But if you are unlucky you might fall victim of false accusation, this time a reversed psychology- one day, an older man pissed at the way a woman was protecting her frontage bluntly asked, “who wan touch your bosom?” According to him, he has more than that at home. Silence.

5. “Do you know who I am”: This man or woman tells us in a danfo bus that he or she is a very important person so the bus conductor must not argue with him/her over N10 change. Enough said.

6. Political analyst: If you missed the news last night, and you have a political analyst riding the same danfo bus with you, may God bless your day. All is cool until he gets another politically conscious passenger to engage in the discourse. Sometimes their analysis is a comic relief. Other times depressing. Depending on the topic in focus. An elderly analyst tells the younger folks in the bus about the good old days. And the danger of having a “young” inexperienced president rule Nigeria.

7. GSM users: Sometimes, you enter a bus and everyone, well almost everyone, is on their mobile phone making calls. The one screaming at the top of his voice…

8. Sleep-attack: How do people sleep through the journey? In the danfo bus? On the bumpy Lagos road? Forget it. You don’t know what their story is about. Body no be wood o.

9. Networker: The guy tells you that you have beautiful brown eyes and soberly shares his story. What is yours? Blank stare.

10. Tribalism: If war breaks out in Lagos, it might start from a danfo bus. One minute you enter a danfo bus and you see us all sandwiched in the air-tight yellow buses and you sigh in relief. The next, you hear an argument from the back row and the next thing, someone is yelling, throwing verbal punches at a particular tribe.

choi

I wish I know what to say now oo

Choi

Please baba God don't let this my First to comment go to waste.

Tell me what to say please baba God.

Lemme kukuma buy the second land since its cheap.

Bought


Makes me wonder if I should still buy the third

o

op u try sha o, very funny especially the preacher and the pervert

but wait o, which do u belong to, I know

E be like say d danfo wey u dey enter no dey geh any football fan. u no go ever forget them when they compare Hazard left foot to Ronaldo's right kick!

zizazizu: E be like say d be like say d danfo wey u dey enter no dey geh any football fan. u no go ever forget them when they compare Hazard left foot to Ronaldo's right kick!

:-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-)
and the way they analyse football matches....hilarious

I wont buy space coz it all make my FTs 2 much

AfricanApple: op u try sha o, very funny especially the preacher and the pervert

but wait o, which do u belong to, I know

i no dey enta danfo now

akinlex: i no dey enta danfo now

clean that dirty wey dey ur mouth

u sabi lie eh, no be u my gate man say he see for inside danfo yesterday? na im make me say I know d onecwey u belong

AfricanApple: clean that dirty wey dey ur mouth

u sabi lie eh, no be u my gate man say he see for inside danfo yesterday? na im make me say I know d onecwey u belong

lol not me neva will i enta danfo

akinlex: lol not me neva will i enta danfo

okay o