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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua (1282 Views)
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“i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by FNNEWS: 9:11am On Sep 16, 2014 |
This article is rated for matured audience only and if you find religious satires offensive we recommend this post is not for you In this recent interview granted FNN, the Man of God reveals how he the impending disaster was revealed to him in a vision but by the time he could act on it, it was too late. FNN: Good day Sir. Our sincere condolences on the recent tragedy at your church TB JOSHUA: Thank you brother. Emmmaaaanuelll. God is forever with us. FNN: How does this make you feel? Do you feel it could have been prevented? TBJ: Erm….honestly…….what has happened has happened. The Lord Gives and The Lord takes away. All we have to do now is continue doing the Lord’s good work FNN: But Nigerians are wondering……..we all know you usually have visions of the future……. TBJ: Exactly……..did I tell you I foretold that the Super Eagles would lose to Congo? FNN: Erm….no Sir. You didn’t. TBJ: You must have been absent at the Press Conference FNN: What Press Conf…. TBJ: Never Mind. Next Question FNN: Okay……..if you could foretell the eagles’ loss (allegedly) how come you didn’t see this one coming? TBJ: See what? FNN: The Building Collapse TBJ: I saw it. Its outside FNN: No No…….I mean like how come you didn’t see a Vision about it? Like you usually do with Super Eagl…. TBJ: OH! OH! Is that what you mean? Of course I saw it. In a vision FNN: WHAT?! TBJ: Yes. Yes. I saw it. But I didn’t see it on time FNN: I don’t understand TBJ: See, Visions are not ordinary. You have to be in the right frame of mind. FNN: What has that got to do with remembering and fore warning your church members? TBJ: I told you, it was too late. I had a lot of things on my mind, like curing Ebola, recording for Emmanuel TV, Trimming my b………it slipped my memory. By the time I remembered it was too late FNN: Wow TBJ: Yes o. Waaaawu. But God is still with us. Emmaaaanuelllll FNN: How would you feel If the Government closes down your church for contravening construction policies? TBJ: Dem no fit FNN: Sir? TBJ: I say dem no fit. Emmaaaanuellll. FNN: Wow……….well, it was nice talking to you sir TBJ: My Pleasure. Do you know anyone with Ebola? We have a cure now. 100% Guaranteed. FNN: Uhm……..No Sir VISIT www. FOR MORE HILARIOUS STORIES 1 Like |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by gede7744(f): 9:14am On Sep 16, 2014 |
firstly - helicopter hovering secondly- boko haram now- vision wonder which one we are to believe 1 Like |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by Visocrate(m): 9:20am On Sep 16, 2014 |
Interesting, we must forge ahead no matter the trials and roughness of the road we must go on God is God even if everybody dies in his pursuit he is God 1 Like |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by logicboy01: 9:23am On Sep 16, 2014 |
This guy is not a prophet. How can he tell all these lies? A prophecy that comes too late is not a prophecy- it is called hindsight Why doesnt he focus on the lives of those affected by the collapse and stop his PR/marketing gimmicks?? T.B. Joshua, you are now under the microscope, please be careful of your actions Edit I didnt realise that this was satire 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by constance500: 9:26am On Sep 16, 2014 |
If I hear. God is watching in HD |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by chelseabmw(m): 9:44am On Sep 16, 2014 |
Seriously I don't believe this interview..... Nonsense You guys should leave this man alone for christ sake 2 Likes |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by yorex2011: 9:51am On Sep 16, 2014 |
The op has already said "if you find religious sattires offensive..." 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by joe17: 10:00am On Sep 16, 2014 |
I was abouit to say dat many NL wil miss it(the joke), funny enuf is happening already . 1 Like |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by joe17: 10:02am On Sep 16, 2014 |
I was about to say dat many NLs wil miss it(the joke), funny enuf is happening already .[color=#006600] 1 Like |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by Ranchhoddas: 10:44am On Sep 16, 2014 |
TB joshua dogs don dey bark,dem talk say na SATIRE. 1 Like |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by larrymoore(m): 10:58am On Sep 16, 2014 |
Even too late to make calls for possible evacuation before the incidence. All fortune tellers don't usually see their own calamities. |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by donnie(m): 11:35am On Sep 16, 2014 |
logicboy01: This guy is not a prophet. OP called it a satire. . . it obviously was meant for humour. . . definitely not the Prophet's words so calm down ok. 1 Like |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by saasala(m): 11:39am On Sep 16, 2014 |
Defination of satire according to google dictionary: the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. synonyms: mockery, ridicule, derision, scorn, caricature; irony, sarcasm 1 Like |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by Nobody: 11:44am On Sep 16, 2014 |
I think this is uncalled for. |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by logicboy01: 11:49am On Sep 16, 2014 |
donnie: Are you serious? Didnt you read the edit that I acknowledge that it is a satire? |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by BobNeli(m): 12:17pm On Sep 16, 2014 |
Well, there are things to joke about. But if u still deemed this one of them, why didn't u refer it to the jokes section? |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by BobNeli(m): 12:21pm On Sep 16, 2014 |
logicboy01: This guy is not a prophet.. U can as well swallow every bullshit line and sinker. Does that appear to u, the manner of responses from the man of God? Dnt be so fibbly minded my brother |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by logicboy01: 3:18pm On Sep 16, 2014 |
donnie: Did you not read my edit? |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by BobNeli(m): 3:35pm On Sep 16, 2014 |
No matter what the whole world may say, I'll always regard and uphold Prophet TB Joshua as my mentor. |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by logicboy01: 3:37pm On Sep 16, 2014 |
BobNeli: No matter what the whole world may say, I'll always regard and uphold Prophet TB Joshua as my mentor. .....until his building collapses on your head 1 Like |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by Guykhena(m): 4:15pm On Sep 16, 2014 |
Lmao |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by seankay(m): 6:42pm On Sep 16, 2014 |
Maybe you guys didn't check the OP's name |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by ignis: 7:20pm On Sep 16, 2014 |
TBJ is the collapse physical or spiritual? |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by NIGERIALOLoCOM(m): 7:31pm On Sep 16, 2014 |
seankay: Maybe you guys didn't check the OP's nameFAKE 9JA NEWS! |
Re: “i Saw The Collapse In A Vision But It Was Too Late” – Tb Joshua by BobNeli(m): 8:50pm On Sep 16, 2014 |
logicboy01:He has tought me to love and care for those I am better than. Not by words buh by character. He has preached to me, the raw gospel of salvation unadultrated. I dnt want to start counting. No one is above life's challenges. Even men of God of old, shared theirs at their own time. Anyway, everybody shall surely die someday. Whether by building collapse or any other means. When once a soul is born, an additional grave is provided. Are u so much afraid of that? May be what u need is a little ammendment in ur ways bro. |
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