This article is rated for matured audience only and if you find religious satires offensive we recommend this post is not for you

In this recent interview granted FNN, the Man of God reveals how he the impending disaster was revealed to him in a vision but by the time he could act on it, it was too late.

FNN: Good day Sir. Our sincere condolences on the recent tragedy at your church

TB JOSHUA: Thank you brother. Emmmaaaanuelll. God is forever with us.

FNN: How does this make you feel? Do you feel it could have been prevented?

TBJ: Erm….honestly…….what has happened has happened. The Lord Gives and The Lord takes away. All we have to do now is continue doing the Lord’s good work

FNN: But Nigerians are wondering……..we all know you usually have visions of the future…….

TBJ: Exactly……..did I tell you I foretold that the Super Eagles would lose to Congo?

FNN: Erm….no Sir. You didn’t.

TBJ: You must have been absent at the Press Conference

FNN: What Press Conf….

TBJ: Never Mind. Next Question

FNN: Okay……..if you could foretell the eagles’ loss (allegedly) how come you didn’t see this one coming?

TBJ: See what?

FNN: The Building Collapse

TBJ: I saw it. Its outside

FNN: No No…….I mean like how come you didn’t see a Vision about it? Like you usually do with Super Eagl….

TBJ: OH! OH! Is that what you mean? Of course I saw it. In a vision

FNN: WHAT?!

TBJ: Yes. Yes. I saw it. But I didn’t see it on time

FNN: I don’t understand

TBJ: See, Visions are not ordinary. You have to be in the right frame of mind.

FNN: What has that got to do with remembering and fore warning your church members?

TBJ: I told you, it was too late. I had a lot of things on my mind, like curing Ebola, recording for Emmanuel TV, Trimming my b………it slipped my memory. By the time I remembered it was too late

FNN: Wow

TBJ: Yes o. Waaaawu. But God is still with us. Emmaaaanuelllll

FNN: How would you feel If the Government closes down your church for contravening construction policies?

TBJ: Dem no fit

FNN: Sir?

TBJ: I say dem no fit. Emmaaaanuellll.

FNN: Wow……….well, it was nice talking to you sir

TBJ: My Pleasure. Do you know anyone with Ebola? We have a cure now. 100% Guaranteed.

FNN: Uhm……..No Sir

VISIT www. FOR MORE HILARIOUS STORIES

firstly - helicopter hovering

secondly- boko haram

now- vision


wonder which one we are to believe

Interesting, we must forge ahead no matter the trials and roughness of the road we must go on God is God even if everybody dies in his pursuit he is God

This guy is not a prophet.

How can he tell all these lies?

A prophecy that comes too late is not a prophecy- it is called hindsight

Why doesnt he focus on the lives of those affected by the collapse and stop his PR/marketing gimmicks??


T.B. Joshua, you are now under the microscope, please be careful of your actions


Edit

I didnt realise that this was satire

If I hear. God is watching in HD

The op has already said "if you find religious sattires offensive..."

I was abouit to say dat many NL wil miss it(the joke), funny enuf is happening already .

I was about to say dat many NLs wil miss it(the joke), funny enuf is happening already .[color=#006600]

TB joshua dogs don dey bark,dem talk say na SATIRE.

Even too late to make calls for possible evacuation before the incidence. All fortune tellers don't usually see their own calamities.

logicboy01: This guy is not a prophet.

How can he tell all these lies?

A prophecy that comes too late is not a prophecy- it is called hindsight

Why doesnt he focus on the lives of those affected by the collapse and stop his PR/marketing gimmicks??


T.B. Joshua, you are now under the microscope, please be careful of your actions


Edit

I didnt realise that this was satire

OP called it a satire. . . it obviously was meant for humour. . . definitely not the Prophet's words so calm down ok.

Defination of satire according to google dictionary: the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

synonyms: mockery, ridicule, derision, scorn, caricature; irony, sarcasm

I think this is uncalled for.

donnie:

OP called it a satire. . . it obviously was meant for humour. . . definitely not the Prophet's words so calm down ok.

Are you serious? Didnt you read the edit that I acknowledge that it is a satire?

Well, there are things to joke about. But if u still deemed this one of them, why didn't u refer it to the jokes section?

logicboy01: This guy is not a prophet.

How can he tell all these lies?

A prophecy that comes too late is not a prophecy- it is called hindsight

Why doesnt he focus on the lives of those affected by the collapse and stop his PR/marketing gimmicks??


T.B. Joshua, you are now under the microscope, please be careful of your actions


Edit

I didnt realise that this was satire

. U can as well swallow every bullshit line and sinker. Does that appear to u, the manner of responses from the man of God? Dnt be so fibbly minded my brother

donnie:

OP called it a satire. . . it obviously was meant for humour. . . definitely not the Prophet's words so calm down ok.

Did you not read my edit?

No matter what the whole world may say, I'll always regard and uphold Prophet TB Joshua as my mentor.

BobNeli: No matter what the whole world may say, I'll always regard and uphold Prophet TB Joshua as my mentor.

.....until his building collapses on your head

Maybe you guys didn't check the OP's name

TBJ is the collapse physical or spiritual?

seankay: Maybe you guys didn't check the OP's name

FAKE 9JA NEWS!

logicboy01:


.....until his building collapses on your head

He has tought me to love and care for those I am better than. Not by words buh by character. He has preached to me, the raw gospel of salvation unadultrated. I dnt want to start counting. No one is above life's challenges. Even men of God of old, shared theirs at their own time. Anyway, everybody shall surely die someday. Whether by building collapse or any other means. When once a soul is born, an additional grave is provided. Are u so much afraid of that? May be what u need is a little ammendment in ur ways bro.