In the midst of laughter, there should be multitude of lessons! That is exactly what we tried to achieve with Sermon on the Mount, the Lagos Convo Edition. Read, laugh and learn sha, like we say around here.
Here we go
1. Blessed are you when you postpone your bubble gums chewing business until the end of the church service. For you shall save many souls from unwanted distractions.
2. Blessed are you when you desist from mounting the podium to sing on Sunday morning after mounting your boyfriend the previous night. Hmmm..that kind thing dikwa risky! To avoid being slapped by the Holy Spirit in church one day. Hehehe…
3. Blessed are you when you quit distracting your pastor with those hot half closed thighs. The rest of the congregation will not be served with the wrong scriptural passages.
4. Blessed are you when you brush your mouth and wash your body properly before attending mass or church service. The church already has enough anointing; members do not need the ones coming from your armpit or mouth.
5. Blessed are you if you are able to endure that sister in the front whose curves pose spiritual hazard to you. Stand firm, unmovable, for your eyes shall see the salvation of the lord.
6. Blessed are you when you quit from being “brother toaster” and give one of the sisters you have been giving hope all along a permanent seat in your life. Even the remainder of the sisters shall rejoice because their ears shall know peace. Hehehe
7. Blessed are you when you give that sister a ‘sincere lift’ after service without asking for her phone number. Your act of kindness shall be rewarded appropriately. Yes you can!
8. Blessed are you when your dance in church is sincerely for the lord and not for any guy to notice. Babes you know how far na.
9. Blessed are you when the tablet you holding with such fine pose is for reading scriptures and making notes and not for show. Forget, you know what I’m talking about joor!
10. Blessed are you when your ushering services are as unto the lord than for advertisement. Your reward shall be full.
Culled from:http://lagosconvo.com/country-people/sermon-on-the-mount-revised-edition/

Feel free to add yours.
Tag: tosyne2much, tolexander, tallesty1, mizmycoli, feverRay.

Av never read anything this lame
all my life

Blessed are you who pursue not under-skirt things

Blessed are you who romances and kisses a lady for 15mins without reaching her panties

Blessed are you who doesn't sneak out of the church during offering

Blessed are you who is using Bold5 but keeps it inside your pocket without bringing it out during church service

Let's spread the fun

kekakuz: Av never read anything this lame
all my life

It is also lame to comment on lame topics.

Tallesty1: It is also lame to comment on lame topics.

yes
and very much lame to comment on a lame comment on a lame topic

[quote author=Epathra][/quote]

so lame

Where muslims never make a joke with their 'allah', church-goers create joke with the infallible word of GOD, His word that He exalts above His Holy name. Kai,,,these people know not what they are doing.

"It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." (Hebrews 10:31)

"And the lord commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely: for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light. " (Luke 16:

Oh, be thou exalted oh LORD of hosts,,,in generations past, this generation and in the generation to come, GOD is never mocked. No, no, NEVER!!!!

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." (Galatians 6:7)

To start with, I wasn't trained to believe Christianity was in competition with other religion. Next, the 10 commandment is no stranger to even my 2 year old nephew. Overfamiliarity has somewhat watered down its effect. These days sef, people don't lie, steal and all other what nots, they cause people to do ΐτ̅. If u can move out of our stereotypic religious view of God and christianity, then, u'll see the sense in this. End of quote.

emmyskies: Where muslims never make a joke with their 'allah', church-goers create joke with the infallible word of GOD, His word that He exalts above His Holy name. Kai,,,these people know not what they are doing.

"It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." (Hebrews 10:31)

"And the lord commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely: for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light. " (Luke 16:

Oh, be thou exalted oh LORD of hosts,,,in generations past, this generation and in the generation to come, GOD is never mocked. No, no, NEVER!!!!

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." (Galatians 6:7)

Epathra: To start with, I wasn't trained to believe Christianity was in competition with other religion. Next, the 10 commandment is no stranger to even my 2 year old nephew. Overfamiliarity has somewhat watered down its effect. These days sef, people don't lie, steal and all other what nots, they cause people to do ΐτ̅. If u can move out of our stereotypic religious view of God and christianity, then, u'll see the sense in this. End of quote.

You don't comprehend. Read my post again. Once again, GOD is never mocked, never!