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| First Scenes Of A Short Script I Am Working On. by morsadh(m): 2:55pm On Sep 24, 2014 |
I am working on a story and I would love to start working on the first draft before the end of this year. I however drafted a short experiment and I need the opinions of all guys in the house, particularly the scriptwriters. Prof800, and Sholay2011 I am looking at you o. Abeg opinions pls. INT. CHURCH BUILDING- CHURCH AUDIORIUM-EVENING- WEDNEDAY. A murmur goes on at the auditorium, like a swarm of bees conversing. It is a group of young people in an ‘act of prayer’. Some kneel, others stand as they pray. JAMES holds an open Bible in his hand, a louder voice than the others. He mutters, and then raises his voice. His actions subside. He pauses. And then- JAMES In the name of Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior, we pray! OTHERS Amen! JAMES As we go, may the Lord go with us... OTHERS Amen! JAMES May he keep our feet from being dashed against the stone... OTHERS Amen! JAMES ...And our eyes from tears... OTHERS Amen! JAMES May he protect our going-out and our coming-in... OTHERS Amen! JAMES From this time forth, and even forever more! OTHERS A-a-a-men!!! The other members of the prayer meeting open their eyes. JAMES Let the living shout hallelujah! OTHERS Hallelujah!!! The meeting ends; the people disperse. JAMES picks up his chair and places it along with others neatly arranged by the side. JAMES Please, do not forget to keep the House of God in order; please return your chairs to their positions. Some members pick up their chairs, heading for the pack of chairs. Others take their leave. IREPODUN ALORE drops her chair by the rack. She approaches JAMES. IREPODUN Our dear Brother-In-Christ... JAMES looks up from the little notebook he has in his hands and sees IREPODUN. He smiles weakly. JAMES Oh, sister! How are you doing? IREPODUN Pretty well, thank you. That was a good one there, I mean- the prayer meeting. JAMES Yeah, thank you. IREPODUN Right. Um, have you heard from Gbenga- How is he; you know, business-wise, health... JAMES Ok, please slow down, alright? I will tell him you asked after him, ok? IREPODUN Yeah, but you know, he hasn’t showed up in like 3 weeks or so, do you get my drift, and he is... JAMES What’s going on, Irepodun? IREPODUN is taken aback. IREPODUN I don’t... I don’t get you... JAMES Irepo, you and I know that James has been very busy with work, being elevated and all, and he has to travel more often these days. He is always going to be scarce these days, and that is why I am in his place presiding over meetings as his deputy, or is there any good reason as to why you want to see him? IREPODUN I just wanted to ask after him... that’s all. An uncomfortable moment between them. IREPODUN stares at her feet. JAMES inhales deeply, closing his eyes. He then exhales. JAMES I am sorry. Just tired, that’s all. IREPODUN It’s alright. JAMES I’ll tell Gbenga you asked after him. IREPODUN Never mind. Goodnight, James. She leaves. JAMES remains standing, musing over something. He picks his Bible and makes to leave, then stops. Pulls out his phone and dials. Call connection is made. GBENGA (O.S) James... JAMES Young man, how are you doing? GBENGA We thank God. JAMES Gbenga... when are you coming home? Silence. JAMES Hello? GBENGA (O.S) Look, James, I have had a long day, and I need some rest. How about you and I talk about this tomorrow... JAMES walks towards the doors of the Church. JAMES ...and we’ll keep ‘posting’ this conversation till Thy Kingdom Come? No way! What is going on, Gbenga? You have failed to make me understand what the issue is? Or...is it about Irepodun? GBENGA (O.S) (Concerned) What did she say? JAMES Nothing. She merely asked after you... the third time in a week, not to mention the previous. And so has the Mr. Olopade, the Mummy of the Church, and the Pastor. I must tell you now that I am sick and tired of all these! He gets to the doors and pulls them close... EXT. CHURCH BUILDING- DAY- TUESDAY ...Locks the doors, and turns...to meet the PASTOR. He just arrived. JAMES is surprised to see him. JAMES I’ll call you back. He hangs up. The PASTOR stares at him, smiling broadly. PASTOR James. JAMES Good evening, sir. PASTOR Evening. I presume the youth prayer meeting is still on every week? JAMES Yes, sir. We just concluded this week’s. PASTOR Good. You haven’t forgotten about the big event next week, I hope? JAMES Not at all, sir. We are getting prepared. Everything should’ve been sorted before Sunday, sir. PASTOR I have a question to ask you by the way. JAMES Alright, sir. PASTOR Two weeks ago, the youth meeting for the month was postponed. May I know why? JAMES I am sorry, sir. The day in question was the day we went to Sister Moyosore’s house to console her on the passing of her great-aunt. PASTOR Oh, right. Another question though. Your drama team was absent during the thanksgiving service last week. You are the head of the drama department. Why? JAMES I had to attend the regional meeting, concerning the convention coming up next month, sir. PASTOR That is no excuse, young man. There’s what we call ‘timing and balance’. You should create a space for a rehearsal, particularly when you know that you have such a meeting. JAMES I am sorry, sir. PASTOR It’s alright. JAMES hands over the keys to the Pastor, who receives them. The former is leaving. PASTOR Oh, by the way... JAMES looks back. PASTOR My younger brother visited me yesterday. I asked him about Gbenga’s training at Dikko and Sons. He told me that Gbenga had been on leave for 3 weeks. You lied to me, boy. JAMES is tongue-tied, PASTOR’s smile fades. JAMES I...I... PASTOR Not to worry, we will all talk about this on Sunday... you, me and the church board. Goodnight. PASTOR disappears into the Church. JAMES clutches his lesson notes, staring at the Church doors, looking afraid. He then kicks an empty can with fury, walking away. JAMES God! |
| Re: First Scenes Of A Short Script I Am Working On. by sholay2011(m): 10:33pm On Sep 24, 2014 |
Space Booked |
| Re: First Scenes Of A Short Script I Am Working On. by prof800(m): 7:54pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
Wow... how on earth did I miss this? I'm so sorry.  ...I really liked that you called this an "experiment". I encourage you to write more and read more screenplays... It will help improve you writing skills. Actually if this was going to be part of a feature like an excerpt or something, then I must say that it looks quite promising. your post said "I would love to start working on the first draft before the end of this year." So how far have you gone. Also what software do you use in writing? |
| Re: First Scenes Of A Short Script I Am Working On. by morsadh(m): 1:23am On Jan 01, 2015 |
prof800: I downloaded Celtx online, and it has been of help since. It made my work pretty easier. As for this experiment, it was an excerpt of a script for a 'small feature' or a short film. The first draft of the project I talked about took a break, as I was occupied with other matters. I will resume next week, by His Grace. Thamk you very much for your comments. 1 Like |
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