I came across this and i really like it,great use of sarcasm by the writer.

http://www.sabinews.com/all-news/god-speaks-in-mysterious-ways-to-tb-joshua-by-pearl-osibu/

GOD SPEAKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS TO TB JOSHUA by Pearl Osibu

Let us begin by establishing something right off. T. B Joshua is a man of God. How do I know this? I don’t believe in coincidence and one too many is usually much too much for me and a signal that ‘di hand of God dey inside the matter’. You don’t believe me? Here are some fun facts;

-TB Joshua spent 15 months inside his mother’s womb. So did one of my aunts actually. But hey, this is not about her.
-There was a quarry accident near his home soon after his birth which could have killed his mum and baby TB. That was surely the first miracle…
-In secondary school where TB was known as ‘small Pastor’ because of his love for the bible, he did just one year before he was kicked out. God uses the idiots of this world to confound the wise. Issokay!
-Joshua tried to join the Nigerian Military but this failed because the train he was travelling in broke down en route and he missed camp or something like that.

So like I said, God shows us our destiny, or speaks to us in signs and wonders, and generally works in mysterious ways. It’s happened many times before.

Some examples;

I sat beside a man a few months ago on a bus to Benin. As usual, the conversation swung to politics and invariably religion and God. The man told me a story of how much he trusts in God’s signs. He told me how his wife lost 4 pregnancies, all almost full term. Then the fifth one, his pastor asked him to sow their car into the ministry. He did and what do you know, baby, or should I say Abiku, abi Ogbanje #5 stayed. All because they listened. All along, they were fasting and praying and had faith, but I think maybe, sometimes, people just don’t hear God well. So you have to listen real close. I asked him if God could not have told them right off and saved them the death of four babies. Is there any point mentioning that he moved his family to the city after they lost the fourth baby?
We hear stories all the time about babies born with palms fused and when surgically opened, a warning is usually found about Jesus coming soon. The babies invariably die immediately afterwards. I mean, how soon really is soon? And nine months pregnancy and labour for that? But that’s none of my business.

What of COZA church? When God wanted to show forth his might, he made the pastor sleep with a member of his church so that it would get people talking, that way bringing the power of the almighty God and his grace upon their ministry to our attention.
Like I said, God works/speaks in ways we cannot comprehend.

And so now we have here a man that is undisputedly called and anointed of God. I don’t want us to be too hard on TB Joshua. He has really been a blessing to many. Look at some of the things he has done.

-The wife of Ghanaian goal keeperRichard Kingson was delivered of the evil spirit which was behind her husband’s inability to procure a contract with a team since 2011. He has since secured a contract with Turkish club Balıkesirspor.
-Jim Iyke was delivered of his demons, one of which I’m sure was his girlfriend-beating tendencies.
-Some lawyer was cured of sleeping sickness – he counted Zs while in court, and
-Another musician was delivered of the demons that made her do drugs and behave somehow,
But that was not all. God has taken, through Joshua, a keen interest in soccer, helping him predict wins and losses. God has also, through him, forewarned us about plane crashes, which, given our Aviation industry, we had no rights to expect. Celebrity deaths? That’s nothing.

If all of this is not enough to convince you that this man was called of God, then you are such a cynic. God ensured that he be dumb to the point he could not pass from class 1 to 2, that he and his mother’s lives were saved and that Joshua be unable to make military camp, all in a bid to furnish us with irrefutable signs that God needed him for a bigger work. Miracle worker!

But it didn’t end there; with no education, military training, possibly no saleable skills, God cleared his throat and declared that Joshua was now fully qualified for his use. And so quite propitiously, in a heavenly vision, he received divine anointing and a covenant from God to start his ministry.

The only problem I had with Joshua was how scruffy he used to look. My god, he used to look like something no self-respecting cat would drag home. But then, how many of us can our pasts hold up to our recent tushness when money don touch us small, and in addition to the advisory council of the Holy Spirit, we have a team of stylists, groomers, elocution trainers and Public image-makers.

So one day, I saw that he had started wearing clean suits, they did something to his skin and shaved all that nasty bear-bear and whatnot.

The problem with all that is that when you look too clean, demons sef start thinking you have gone soft so they will be teasing you every time.

Apart from the newer, sleeker strain – sorry, version of TB, there were some other things he started doing that either God or the demons didn’t like very much. I don’t know. Forgive my uncertainty. For instance, when he started hobnobbing with celebrity figures like Tonto Dickeh, and Jim Aaaaaayk, surely, God was not pleased. But when he explained that he only wanted to cast out their demons, God made a concession. After all, the bible says, ‘knowing the terror of our God, we compel men.’

So with all these wonderful things this man has done, why do people hate him so much? Why can people not see that a man who sent almost 4,000 bottles of water and got instant cure for Ebola for thousands is a hero? The other day, like seven people died in a stampede in one of Joshua’s churches in Ghana over this same water matter. And here we are, doubting the authenticity of his call and powers.

Now, this man has troubled the kingdom of satan so much that satan hijacked a plane and made it hover around a SCOAN building until they succeeded and collapsed it. God will punish them! Of course, the important man of God was prayerfully safe and away.

So what if they were trying to build a five-storey building on a two-storey foundation, is there anything God cannot do? Now people are saying that like seventy-something people died. Big deal. It is called collateral damage. Not all lives are equal. TB Joshua is too important to die like that. I mean, when Jesus was born, Herod went and killed all the male babies in that age bracket to find Baby Jesus; what of when the Isrealites wanted anything? God just said go and kill everybody and take their shit. So when you are a chosen of the Lord, don’t worry about it. Everyone else is collateral damage. And we endorse.

Let those damn South Africans stay in their country.

Their President said, “Our thoughts are with the families, friends and colleagues that have lost their loved ones in this heart-breaking tragedy. The whole nation shares the pain of the mothers, fathers, daughters and sons who have lost their loved ones. We are all in grief.” He has ordered government departments to help family members get to Nigeria to identify the bodies of their loved ones, and repatriate the remains as soon as possible. Good. Una shakara too much. Go home and stay home and don’t bother investigating the collapse.

The only thing we need to advise ourselves is that the next time God chooses to show forth his mysteries and wonders, which side will we be on? Victim or victorious? Chosen or collateral? Please try not to be under the rubble.

The truth of Nigeria's curse of tokumbo religions is both sad and funny.

I'm a freethinker,I don't do no religion or any belief system dogma but I love Tb joshua to death even if his powers are counterfeit I believe in him because He's Gifted and he got charismatic personality!!!

Satire...

uzolexis: I came across this and i really like it,great use of sarcasm by the writer.

http://www.sabinews.com/all-news/god-speaks-in-mysterious-ways-to-tb-joshua-by-pearl-osibu/

GOD SPEAKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS TO TB JOSHUA by Pearl Osibu

Let us begin by establishing something right off. T. B Joshua is a man of God. How do I know this? I don’t believe in coincidence and one too many is usually much too much for me and a signal that ‘di hand of God dey inside the matter’. You don’t believe me? Here are some fun facts;

-TB Joshua spent 15 months inside his mother’s womb. So did one of my aunts actually. But hey, this is not about her.
-There was a quarry accident near his home soon after his birth which could have killed his mum and baby TB. That was surely the first miracle…
-In secondary school where TB was known as ‘small Pastor’ because of his love for the bible, he did just one year before he was kicked out. God uses the idiots of this world to confound the wise. Issokay!
-Joshua tried to join the Nigerian Military but this failed because the train he was travelling in broke down en route and he missed camp or something like that.

So like I said, God shows us our destiny, or speaks to us in signs and wonders, and generally works in mysterious ways. It’s happened many times before.

Some examples;

I sat beside a man a few months ago on a bus to Benin. As usual, the conversation swung to politics and invariably religion and God. The man told me a story of how much he trusts in God’s signs. He told me how his wife lost 4 pregnancies, all almost full term. Then the fifth one, his pastor asked him to sow their car into the ministry. He did and what do you know, baby, or should I say Abiku, abi Ogbanje #5 stayed. All because they listened. All along, they were fasting and praying and had faith, but I think maybe, sometimes, people just don’t hear God well. So you have to listen real close. I asked him if God could not have told them right off and saved them the death of four babies. Is there any point mentioning that he moved his family to the city after they lost the fourth baby?
We hear stories all the time about babies born with palms fused and when surgically opened, a warning is usually found about Jesus coming soon. The babies invariably die immediately afterwards. I mean, how soon really is soon? And nine months pregnancy and labour for that? But that’s none of my business.

What of COZA church? When God wanted to show forth his might, he made the pastor sleep with a member of his church so that it would get people talking, that way bringing the power of the almighty God and his grace upon their ministry to our attention.
Like I said, God works/speaks in ways we cannot comprehend.

And so now we have here a man that is undisputedly called and anointed of God. I don’t want us to be too hard on TB Joshua. He has really been a blessing to many. Look at some of the things he has done.

-The wife of Ghanaian goal keeperRichard Kingson was delivered of the evil spirit which was behind her husband’s inability to procure a contract with a team since 2011. He has since secured a contract with Turkish club Balıkesirspor.
-Jim Iyke was delivered of his demons, one of which I’m sure was his girlfriend-beating tendencies.
-Some lawyer was cured of sleeping sickness – he counted Zs while in court, and
-Another musician was delivered of the demons that made her do drugs and behave somehow,
But that was not all. God has taken, through Joshua, a keen interest in soccer, helping him predict wins and losses. God has also, through him, forewarned us about plane crashes, which, given our Aviation industry, we had no rights to expect. Celebrity deaths? That’s nothing.

If all of this is not enough to convince you that this man was called of God, then you are such a cynic. God ensured that he be dumb to the point he could not pass from class 1 to 2, that he and his mother’s lives were saved and that Joshua be unable to make military camp, all in a bid to furnish us with irrefutable signs that God needed him for a bigger work. Miracle worker!

But it didn’t end there; with no education, military training, possibly no saleable skills, God cleared his throat and declared that Joshua was now fully qualified for his use. And so quite propitiously, in a heavenly vision, he received divine anointing and a covenant from God to start his ministry.

The only problem I had with Joshua was how scruffy he used to look. My god, he used to look like something no self-respecting cat would drag home. But then, how many of us can our pasts hold up to our recent tushness when money don touch us small, and in addition to the advisory council of the Holy Spirit, we have a team of stylists, groomers, elocution trainers and Public image-makers.

So one day, I saw that he had started wearing clean suits, they did something to his skin and shaved all that nasty bear-bear and whatnot.

The problem with all that is that when you look too clean, demons sef start thinking you have gone soft so they will be teasing you every time.

Apart from the newer, sleeker strain – sorry, version of TB, there were some other things he started doing that either God or the demons didn’t like very much. I don’t know. Forgive my uncertainty. For instance, when he started hobnobbing with celebrity figures like Tonto Dickeh, and Jim Aaaaaayk, surely, God was not pleased. But when he explained that he only wanted to cast out their demons, God made a concession. After all, the bible says, ‘knowing the terror of our God, we compel men.’

So with all these wonderful things this man has done, why do people hate him so much? Why can people not see that a man who sent almost 4,000 bottles of water and got instant cure for Ebola for thousands is a hero? The other day, like seven people died in a stampede in one of Joshua’s churches in Ghana over this same water matter. And here we are, doubting the authenticity of his call and powers.

Now, this man has troubled the kingdom of satan so much that satan hijacked a plane and made it hover around a SCOAN building until they succeeded and collapsed it. God will punish them! Of course, the important man of God was prayerfully safe and away.

So what if they were trying to build a five-storey building on a two-storey foundation, is there anything God cannot do? Now people are saying that like seventy-something people died. Big deal. It is called collateral damage. Not all lives are equal. TB Joshua is too important to die like that. I mean, when Jesus was born, Herod went and killed all the male babies in that age bracket to find Baby Jesus; what of when the Isrealites wanted anything? God just said go and kill everybody and take their shit. So when you are a chosen of the Lord, don’t worry about it. Everyone else is collateral damage. And we endorse.

Let those damn South Africans stay in their country.

Their President said, “Our thoughts are with the families, friends and colleagues that have lost their loved ones in this heart-breaking tragedy. The whole nation shares the pain of the mothers, fathers, daughters and sons who have lost their loved ones. We are all in grief.” He has ordered government departments to help family members get to Nigeria to identify the bodies of their loved ones, and repatriate the remains as soon as possible. Good. Una shakara too much. Go home and stay home and don’t bother investigating the collapse.

The only thing we need to advise ourselves is that the next time God chooses to show forth his mysteries and wonders, which side will we be on? Victim or victorious? Chosen or collateral? Please try not to be under the rubble.

Uzolexis,I don't see any sarcasm in what this ignorant fellow has just said. From his/her tone,I can sense dead seriousness. He/she knows no jack about TB Joshua,rubbish write-up. I'l stop here,but I guess I have made my point. Mtchewwww!!!!!!Case closed! Pls share next trend...

Well said my sister. Prophet T. B. Joshua is a blessing to this generation. No matter what he is facing right now, it is for a while. Satan wanted to use the collapsed building to discredit this great man of God. His works here on earth cannot be equaled and we know that God who sent him, will see him through. Sometimes I wonder why people or Nigerians hated this man of God with passion. But when I sat down and look back to what Jesus faced while on earth here, then I realized that this was just a trial by the devil and God will see this man through.

You have spoken my mind. Those calling for his head will have themselves to blame. Whether they jail him or not, I am not bothered because God is with him.If Jesus went through same process and got crucified, what he Prophet T. B. Joshua is passing through now is just nothing. They can say or do whatever they like, but they should not touch his soul.

T.B Joshua belongs in the fortune cookie business.

She(the op) didn't speak ur mind..u sir definitely don't understand the meaning of the words IRONY and SARCASM

andyanders:
Well said my sister. Prophet T. B. Joshua is a blessing to this generation. No matter what he is facing right now, it is for a while. Satan wanted to use the collapsed building to discredit this great man of God. His works here on earth cannot be equaled and we know that God who sent him, will see him through. Sometimes I wonder why people or Nigerians hated this man of God with passion. But when I sat down and look back to what Jesus faced while on earth here, then I realized that this was just a trial by the devil and God will see this man through.

You have spoken my mind. Those calling for his head will have themselves to blame. Whether they jail him or not, I am not bothered because God is with him.If Jesus went through same process and got crucified, what he Prophet T. B. Joshua is passing through now is just nothing. They can say or do whatever they like, but they should not touch his soul.

andyanders:
Well said my sister. Prophet T. B. Joshua is a blessing to this generation. No matter what he is facing right now, it is for a while. Satan wanted to use the collapsed building to discredit this great man of God. His works here on earth cannot be equaled and we know that God who sent him, will see him through. Sometimes I wonder why people or Nigerians hated this man of God with passion. But when I sat down and look back to what Jesus faced while on earth here, then I realized that this was just a trial by the devil and God will see this man through.

You have spoken my mind. Those calling for his head will have themselves to blame. Whether they jail him or not, I am not bothered because God is with him.If Jesus went through same process and got crucified, what he Prophet T. B. Joshua is passing through now is just nothing. They can say or do whatever they like, but they should not touch his soul.

SMH

I love TBJ because he is a philanthropist. Very generous, I am not his member though.