How Many Will You Get?
1. I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

3. Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don’t believe in higher powers.
4. Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

5. Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

6. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”.
“Time travel”
“When do we want it?”.
“Irrelevant.”

7. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

8. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.

9. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”

10. An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

What does a baby computer call his father?
Data.

What is a computer`s first sign of old age?
Loss of memory.

What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.

Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was looking for a byte to eat.

What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.

To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user ...

Help-desk : Double click on "My Computer".

Lady : I can't see your computer..

Help-desk : No .. Click on "My Computer" on your computer.

Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer !!

Help-desk : There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer .. double click on it.

Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?

RIP Plotu

Atoms...making up things since time ImoRiver