bukatyne:


That's what I typed in my earlier post.

@bolded: There is a difference between dealing with adults (your wife/husband) and kids. If a husband/wife does not like something the spouse has done, he/she ought to tell the spouse in love and they settle it.

Can you expand the correction you mean?

I agree with you on the approach to his wife

pickabeau1:


I agree with you on the approach to his wife

Again, there is no love without correction.

If (God forbid evil ) my husband starts behaving like a tout in his work place or quarrelling with all his colleagues and our neighbors, is it not my duty to correct him?

That was one of the problems I had with Tiwa's husband: what husband does not complain when his wife dresses like an harlot? One who does not care about the marriage. If he saw a future with her, would not caution her for posterity sake?

I will have reservations about a spouse that cannot correct me when I am wrong because the Bible says 'Iron sharpenth Iron'. Infact, we both see ourselves as a representative of the family which cautions us in our conduct outside and ambassadors of Christ which helps us caution our conduct towards each other

Bravo!

bukatyne:


Again, there is no love without correction.

If (God forbid evil ) my husband starts behaving like a tout in his work place or quarrelling with all his colleagues and our neighbors, is it not my duty to correct him?

That was one of the problems I had with Tiwa's husband: what husband does not complain when his wife dresses like an harlot? One who does not care about the marriage. If he saw a future with her, would not caution her for posterity sake?

I will have reservations about a spouse that cannot correct me when I am wrong because the Bible says 'Iron sharpenth Iron'. Infact, we both see ourselves as a representative of the family which cautions us in our conduct outside and ambassadors of Christ which helps us caution our conduct towards each other

pickabeau1:
Bravo!

Thanks

Ok, we understand the ideals of love and submission from the OP, now to the practical aspects. The OP seems to suggest that the love and consequent submission of a wife to her husband, is entirely a reciprocal nature. That the husband must take the first step of love and without this first step, the wife will not submit nor love.

I think this places the fortunes of the marriage in the hand of the husband because an unloving husband automatically creates an unloving wife. This also conflicts with the Christian ideals of love. Love is supposed to be ubiquitous amongst Christians. A Christian is a lover of Christ and of his neighbours. And the Christian is of both sexes/genders. So irrespective of the gender, a Christian must be loving.

Now, back to the context of marriage, the wife is placed in a very difficult position by being asked to be a Christian (who must love all her neighbours) and at the same time a wife who must only reciprocate to her husband's love.

Assuming the wife decides to initiate the first step by loving the husband, does the husband reciprocate by loving her and then submitting or not? How will this be resolved?

And as a last issue, the relevant bible verses only touch on marriage and not on courtship, what is the priority of love in courtship and what is the priority of submission?

Kay17:
Ok, we understand the ideals of love and submission from the OP, now to the practical aspects. The OP seems to suggest that the love and consequent submission of a wife to her husband, is entirely a reciprocal nature. That the husband must take the first step of love and without this first step, the wife will not submit nor love.

I think this places the fortunes of the marriage in the hand of the husband because an unloving husband automatically creates an unloving wife. This also conflicts with the Christian ideals of love. Love is supposed to be ubiquitous amongst Christians. A Christian is a lover of Christ and of his neighbours. And the Christian is of both sexes/genders. So irrespective of the gender, a Christian must be loving.

Now, back to the context of marriage, the wife is placed in a very difficult position by being asked to be a Christian (who must love all her neighbours) and at the same time a wife who must only reciprocate to her husband's love.

Assuming the wife decides to initiate the first step by loving the husband, does the husband reciprocate by loving her and then submitting or not? How will this be resolved?

And as a last issue, the relevant bible verses only touch on marriage and not on courtship, what is the priority of love in courtship and what is the priority of submission?

Hi Kay17,

Welcome to the thread

Since Christian marriages are in discussion, I would always say love first before submission becasue that is the order obtainable in Christ & the Church's relationship. The marriage has always been in the husband's hands because he is the leader and should lead by example. There are bible verses that tell us that God loved us first before we reciprocated and I do not think that negates the principle of love.

If a believing wife married an unbeliever, she has the duty of upholding the marriage whether he loves her or not

A woman loving first? Well, the husband should reciporate.

@Love & submission in courtship, I believe and encourage it. Once a couple is in courtship, it is believed that they have agreed to get married and are getting to know themselves. There is no magic in the vows that makes an unsubmissive woman become a submissive wife and vice versa. Both of them must start learning how to relate with eachother from the courtship which will be carried out in marriage.

Interesting coming from you.. buka

I agree with your post

bukatyne:


Hi Kay17,

Welcome to the thread

Since Christian marriages are in discussion, I would always say love first before submission becasue that is the order obtainable in Christ & the Church's relationship. The marriage has always been in the husband's hands because he is the leader and should lead by example. There are bible verses that tell us that God loved us first before we reciprocated and I do not think that negates the principle of love.

If a believing wife married an unbeliever, she has the duty of upholding the marriage whether he loves her or not

A woman loving first? Well, the husband should reciporate.

@Love & submission in courtship, I believe and encourage it. Once a couple is in courtship, it is believed that they have agreed to get married and are getting to know themselves. There is no magic in the vows that makes an unsubmissive woman become a submissive wife and vice versa. Both of them must start learning how to relate with eachother from the courtship which will be carried out in marriage.

pickabeau1:
Interesting coming from you.. buka

I agree with your post

@bolded, why?

Thanks

Just the first time ive seen you actually say the husband is the head of the home
interesting

bukatyne:


@bolded, why?

Thanks

pickabeau1:
Just the first time ive seen you actually say the husband is the head of the home
interesting

Really?

Assuming there has been no instance, did my previous posts on this tread not say so?

Just explicit.. this time

All the while.. implied ..

But this is clear

Maybe i missed the previous post

bukatyne:


Really?

Assuming there has been no instance, did my previous posts on this tread not say so?

pickabeau1:
Just explicit.. this time

All the while.. implied ..

But this is clear

Maybe i missed the previous post

No comment

bukatyne:


No comment

Ok

bukatyne:


Hi Kay17,

Welcome to the thread

Since Christian marriages are in discussion, I would always say love first before submission becasue that is the order obtainable in Christ & the Church's relationship. The marriage has always been in the husband's hands because he is the leader and should lead by example. There are bible verses that tell us that God loved us first before we reciprocated and I do not think that negates the principle of love.

If a believing wife married an unbeliever, she has the duty of upholding the marriage whether he loves her or not
A woman loving first? Well, the husband should reciporate.
@Love & submission in courtship, I believe and encourage it. Once a couple is in courtship, it is believed that they have agreed to get married and are getting to know themselves. There is no magic in the vows that makes an unsubmissive woman become a submissive wife and vice versa. Both of them must start learning how to relate with eachother from the courtship which will be carried out in marriage.

What are the consequences of a woman submitting to a man during courtship, aren't you delivering a dangerous advice? The man can command for the "forbidden fruit" which isn't a legitimate request.

In respect to the bolded, the woman does not need to wait for a husband's love to reciprocate to but why does the Bible say to the contrary?

Kay17:


What are the consequences of a woman submitting to a man during courtship, aren't you delivering a dangerous advice? The man can command for the "forbidden fruit" which isn't a legitimate request.

In respect to the bolded, the woman does not need to wait for a husband's love to reciprocate to but why does the Bible say to the contrary?

How can the man ask for punnany? We are talking Christian here and even if he says so, lady has the right to say no. Submission is not blind obedience and it is 'as to the Lord' Afteral, a married woman will not steal because her husbandsaid so. As much as we are one in marriage, salvation and judgement is personal

I do not understand your last question

bukatyne:


How can the man ask for punnany? We are talking Christian here and even if he says so, lady has the right to say no. Submission is not blind obedience and it is 'as to the Lord' Afterall, a married woman will not steal because her husband said so. As much as we are one in marriage, salvation and judgement is personal

I do not understand your last question

So we can conclude that during every dating and courtship phase a woman goes through with a man she loves, she must submit to such man, right? And such submission must not be total submission but reasonable submission, right?

Kay17:


So we can conclude that during every dating and courtship phase a woman goes through with a man she loves, she must submit to such man, right? And such submission must not be total submission but reasonable submission, right?

Yea

Did not get your other question though

Besides, I am trying to understand how submission works in s.ex

bukatyne:


Yea

Did not get your other question though

Besides, I am trying to understand how submission works in s.ex

No you have excluded premarital sex as being sinful. So submission is not blind obedience but reasonable.

Kay17:


No you have excluded premarital sex as being sinful. So submission is not blind obedience but reasonable.

OK then

Almost a year later

Happy Sunday peeps!

bukatyne:
Hi Peeps,

Happy Sallah/Independence celebrations!

I have been wanting to create this topic but ... Anyways it is here now

This will be focusing on love and submission in a Christian marriage and major Bible texts taken from I Cor 13: 4 - 8, Eph 5: 21 - 33 and Proverbs 31: 10 -31.

Let's all enjoy and CONTRIBUTE (very important) but without insults (Even more important)



Thanks

I agreed with the rest of the bible verses you present, but proverb 31 although the chapter described some excellent and wonderful point of a good wife, but I don't think is the perfect idea of a God fearing wife.take for example in verse 31:
Proverbs 31:31
31 Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates
This verse indicate that most of her worth comes from "her works"Her faith seems to be somewhat undeveloped or unnoticed. There is a suggestion of it in verse 25,which says, "she smiles at the future." One wonders whether she smiles because of her preparation and her works or because of her trust in the Lord. The story about Martha and Mary in the new testament how Jesus felt about faith versus works,mather was a hard working woman who did all the WORK and cooking but Mary wanted to be with Jesus and listen to what He
was saying. Martha eventually got irked
that her sister was sitting and "left me to do all the serving alone." when she told Jesus, Jesus say Mary had chosen the BEST choice. I can't help but think that the Proverbs 31 wife would have been working in the kitchen instead of listening to Jesus.