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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? (32550 Views)
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Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by destante(f): 11:49am On Oct 07, 2014 |
I think a hybrid of all three models is good. a little of each. The point is, it shouldn't be too much about what must be at all times. But as the situation is at every point in the family life, the wife can interchange all the different roles. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by lastpage: 11:52am On Oct 07, 2014 |
[size=14pt]Definition of A WOMAN: Someone who wants "SOMETHING" but does not know "WHAT" she wants nor "HOW" to go about getting it![/size] It seems to me, reading though the three models, that the woman never does ANYTHING for an ALTRUISTIC reason! *If she contributes to household upkeep, its because she wants to claim equality and drag with the husband *If she does not contribute, its because she thinks the man is not respecting her and is trying to undermine her authority in the house!! *If the man decides to allow them to share financial responsibility, she says he is not "man-enough" to live up to his responsibility as the head of the family. In all the three cases, all she thinks about is ME, ME and MYSELF! I read a thread on here yesterday where some poster asked Why "MEN" are shirking away from getting married (legally especially). I just smiled and thought, "You get what you pay for, You reap what you sow"! Marriage will end-up the way WOMEN want it to end up. They can shift blame and point fingers at men ....all day long but at the end of the day, l foresee a time, in the very nearest future when "marrying a woman" will be like ..."who does that nowadays"! Already, l have read about a few men who "paid to have a child from another 'woman-carrier' and the child is about 3yrs old now". The woman is "just doing a job and rendering a service, for which she is paid for: SURROGACY, it is called. Why would they need to marry a woman.... if they can "pay and get a child using their own spermatozoa? Its a shameful trend but one that l realize is borne out of necessity! Like on most issues, l always look beyond the periphery and try to take a leap into the future , so my opinion might not sit well with some people. I accept responsibility for that. Lastpage! 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by Nicepoker(m): 11:57am On Oct 07, 2014 |
My gf currently occupy model one. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by josite: 11:57am On Oct 07, 2014 |
no.it is a taboo to expect her to share.cus if she shares the expense,you the husband may live long and your living long will defeat the game plan which is for you the hubby to run from pilaar to post to make ends meet and Bleep her with the remaining energry well well and die at 50 so sh can be mama lanlord.dont u get it.dont u get why husbands die first. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by HARDDON: 11:58am On Oct 07, 2014 |
jumzzy448: Ghost wify ! Here is to those who would rather watch u suffer n die claiming they don't hv only for them to buy the best coffin for ur buriah! 1 Like |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by HARDDON: 12:08pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
MarvellousGod: Your first point is nothing but a bait to turn your man into a she-male runt n all men would mos def resist this! Keep ur Kash . we were doing just fine , thanks. It is because of ur type we got the 3rd model. God help that man that U WUD marry. Cos tlhe wud pay the bride price only for u to assume control d next day. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by Nobody: 12:18pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
dabossman:You did the right thing because you consulted her and the decision you finally reached was based on due considerations given to your various opinions. .... Some other man may have just told his wife, "the kids are starting school and that's it.He doesn't give the wife a right to opinion and that's where I have a problem. Everything you said above shows you give your wife a voice and it's perfectly fine...Yeah, someone must still make the final decision at the end but such decisions should be based on mutual understanding/agreement. ... My only problem lies with men that declares and it stays that way irrespective of how the wife feels, afterall her opinion doesn't count and he's the man of the house..That's not how a family should be run. cheers |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by Nobody: 12:44pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
publicenemy:Thank you for finding my post reasonable. . As regards the tragic story, don't really know what to say because it could happen to anyone. Anyone could make a decision and it goes the wrong way because we can't forsee the future, we can only predict using garnered knowledge/info We're invariably saying same thing, husbands should give due consideration to their wives' opinion. Some men don't even seek their wives' view, they just do things the way it suites them without wanting to hear a word from their spouse, tood bad... Most times, the wives only get to know about such decisions when the consequences come knocking. . So, all I'm saying is decisions should be reached by both couples, that's the essence of marriage. . Partnership! !... Also, two good heads are better than one..... have a great day ahead. .. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by Nobody: 12:53pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
why not ? who and what is she supposed to spend the money on ...... the kids , herself and the family as a whole. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by AreaFada2: 1:33pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
dabossman:. That's true. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by raphy(m): 1:42pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
greatgod2012: |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by raphy(m): 1:54pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
am ,not yet Married so i dont have much to say ....but let love lead the way.... |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by kobonaire(m): 2:19pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Missy89:yup, exactly ... I think that shift from the traditional model is happening .... gradually. Btw Missy89, what does your new signature mean?... I liked the previous "NL, land of hypocrisy" |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by GWslim(f): 2:26pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
WHY NOT..................THAT IS WHY THEY ARE "ONE" |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by ocelot2006(m): 2:28pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
saymalcolm: When the term "partnership" is mentioned, then equality in terms of responsibility and leadership comes to mind, and that's a major no no in marriage. As someone rightfully mentioned, yes marriage is all about teamwork. But in that team the husband is the team lead and wife as best confidant/advisor/2iC. Yes it's ok if the man seeks his wife's counsel/advise on a number of occasions (after all two heads are better than one), BUT it is NOT compulsory that her decision must be sought. It is not a democracy. Think of it as a benevolent dictatorship OR Absolute Monarchy. 1 Like |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by ocelot2006(m): 2:37pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
dabossman: Thank you! You post has basically buttressed what I've been saying. No offence to the lovely Wives out there, but sometimes you lot can be a bit too emotional during the decision making process. That's why the final call is left to husband, cos apart from being the Head of the home and his ability to think clearly, every consequence for each decision made falls squarely on his shoulders. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by zboyd: 2:43pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
udifrancis: Not when it come to household expenditures. The husband won't allow it. But the wife saves most of her salary for a rainy day, because you never know what may happen. What she doesn't save, she uses on herself and entertainment for the kids. Some women over here are married to men like this woman's husband. My mother married one, as did I. There's no reasoning with men who think like this, based on my own personal experience. Best go with the flow to avoid arguments. In fact, all the men on my father's side of the family are like this woman's husband. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by zboyd: 2:52pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
lakamua: I beg to differ. Tamar* is not a "bad wife". Here's the scenario again. Model 3. Tamar* is a working wife who is married to a husband who believes in gender equality, except in the area of household expenditures. He doesn't expect her to contribute ANY money to the household and has never asked her. He was raised to believe that as a husband, he is responsible for paying each and every bill in the household, including those pertaining to the children, even if his wife is gainfully employed. So any money Tamar makes is her money and none of his business. If he has to take on a second or third job, to make ends meet, so be it. He doesn't tolerate any discussion of the matter. Most wives would envy Tamar's position but she is worried that her husband works too hard at times. She fears he may keel over from a stress-induced heart attack, leaving her a young widow, with three kids to raise. So she saves back most of her salary, in the event her husband becomes incapacitated and the household expenditures fall on her shoulders. 1 Like |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by egobetatoday: 3:20pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
3coins: i wish i could like your post several times over. that is just the truth |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by zboyd: 3:29pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
walcolm: First, I only listed 3 scenarios but I stated that there are more depending on the couple. Second, do you know how many women over here work full-time AND raise 1+ children, many times by themselves? The average woman over here doesn't have any house help/nanny/governess/etc., but some do have daycare institutions they pay a pretty penny to, who watch their kids from 6am to 6pm. In fact, some of these women work two jobs and still manage to raise their children well AND take care of their household expenditures, sometimes, by themselves. And they are far from well-off. Third, some men rule their homes with iron fists. They even confiscate their wives' paychecks. And no matter what the wife brings home from working, he and only he has the final say how her salary is spent. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by abbey621(m): 3:36pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Reading some comments on here, I can't help but laugh. The reason many Nigerian women are spoiled is that they are based in 9ja where expenses are easily managed with the right set of income. If we were to switch environment and put the same people in a society like America, where bills are inevitable every month and you pay for everything from health insurance to car insurance, no one would tell the woman b4 she starts contributing. The mistake most women make is to see contributing as a detriment; rather it makes you stronger so that when one person loses his or job or there is an unforseen emergency, one can easily handle the situation. To the male who belives that a woman should not share expenses because they might start sharing decision making, such men are cowards and they suffer from psychological problem of inadequacy. No matter how strong a woman is, the right man is able to control her in a way that she doesn't even know that she's being controlled, it's one of the wonders of this world! |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by 3coins(m): 4:10pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
egobetatoday:abi. . Simple truth |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by aspirebig: 4:29pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Before? Why are they called helpers? From olden days wife do assist the husband. No b today. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by obidiegwujane10(f): 4:45pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
I will prefer model 3 to avoid any discomfort in the future |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by Nobody: 5:41pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
zboyd: Thx very much. I never thought of that. I usually think the woman is just too frugal...especially when it comes to payment of bills when the hubby is not around. It upsets me to see a woman who is working delaying bills on grounds that the hubby is not around. Now i know. |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by Nobody: 5:47pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Why not? The bible says and i quote "Two shall become one" |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by bukatyne(f): 6:01pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
MarvellousGod: Nice one Hope.you do not mind the mention? 1 Like |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by bukatyne(f): 6:03pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
greatgod2012: Nice one too |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by bukatyne(f): 6:06pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Debonair01: All hope is really not lost |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by jumzzy448: 6:12pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
keemaQ: Hiannn.... cool down mr. And what is your business with the man I end up with for your info, i'm married and hubby is the type that believes the husband should be responsible for house running. So even if I spend a dime, he refunds. So why are you taking panadol for another man's headache? |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by bukatyne(f): 6:15pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
ocelot2006: What is it then? |
Re: Should Working Wives Share Household Expenses With Their Husbands? by bukatyne(f): 6:27pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Meggy007: Courtship is now eating ice cream and going to the beach |
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