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10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by sanyablaze(m): 8:26pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Hello, fam. Today, we’re going to mess around with Nigerian hip hop. You know, I used to be one of those so called ‘hip hop heads.’ If it wasn’t Methodman, Redman, Scarface, Rakim, Pac , Biggie,Big Pun, S laughterhouse or some underground rapper that 98% of the population didn’t know, I wasn’t bumping it. We were the hard kids in baggies dissing the skinny jeans kids. Then with the emergence of rappers like Modenine, M.I and the Terry tha Rapman, I decided to give Nigerian hip hop a chance. I remember hearing Modenine’s ‘Pentium IX’, my mind was blown. I remember staying up all night to hear M.I’s ‘Talk About It’ over and over again. More so, as I grew older, I realized that music is essentially about the melody. So any musician that could make me nod my head and move my feet is cool with me. All those hard rappers talking about how they kill people and smoke all day have no claim on me no more. Don’t get me wrong, I still appreciate talent. I still invest my data more on conscious and underground music than the mainstream ones. I’m just not as stiff as I used to be. No more forcing myself to hate an artiste just ‘cause he has lots of fans. poo, I’m into Wizkid now and I think Solid Star is probably Nigeria’s most underrated artiste. I enjoyed my relationship with Nigerian hip hop for a while. Then the money started coming and they started running out of Ideas. Witty punchlines were replaced by watery ones. When you try and raise this, the rappers will call you a hater who’s just hating on their success, like Mr Incredible said in his latest single, ‘Chairman,’ “have you eaten today? Then why are you hating?” This piece is just to let them know that we the fans are disappointed in them for putting in far less time thinking of intelligent punchlines than they do drafting lists of rich men to praise in their next single (refer to M.I’s ‘Chairman’ and Iceprince’s ‘Northerner’). Ladies and gentlemen, Nigerian hip hop is the new Fuji. If your favourite rapper is herE, please don’t be mad at me. I’m not saying they’re wack, i’m just saying that particular line is. And if you feel these aren’t wack, please forgive me, I have high standards. If you feel you have heard wacker punchlines, feel free to use the comment section. 10. “Life is not fair, I’m thinking of how to bleach” – ICEPRINCE, NIGERIAN BET CYPHER, VARIOUS ARTISTES The amazing thing is that people actually think this is clever. Like what the Bleep does this even mean? How does your bleaching help life get fair? This looks like something I would have written at age ten when my now rested dream of being a rapper was just conceived, definitely not what you want to put on BET cypher where ‘killers’ like Modenine and X.O Senavoe will be on. Yeah, everybody loves Iceprince but it’s not because of his clever lyrics, it’s because he comes out with monster hit songs……… once in three years. 9.“You leave me messed up, now I’m feeling like a fart” – VECTOR, ‘TICKLE ME’ ft Chuddy K We all love Vector. Nigga has mad tracks under his belt. Raise your hands if you still bump ‘Get Down’. The Bar-Rack mixtape had its highs and lows. It boasts of ‘Stay Scheming’ ‘Intro’ and ‘Tuwo’. But most of the tracks were just fillers. I think he’s trying too hard with the metaphors. I blame the people around him who tell him “men, that poo is drugs!” Like really?! Messed up and feeling like a fart? Apart from the fact that it’s generic, it’s plain silly. We love you Vector, but not all tracks should be released. 8.“I really wish we last long, Anaconda.” ICEPRINCE, ‘MORE’ Here is our beloved Iceprince again. I find it difficult commenting on this one because the stupidity speaks for itself. Dude, you don’t have to come up with corny Bottom punchlines like this just because you want to rhyme. Truth is, this whole list could have been made of bad lines from this song alone, but I’ll just use this one as a point of contact. Brother Iceprince should have just written a love letter to the babe jeje instead of infesting our airwaves with this song. 7. “ I’m so fly, my plane never lands. Like Michael Jackson’s park, Neverland” – PHENOM, ‘OMO NAIJA’ I actually love the ‘Omo Naija’ track, mostly because of its infectious hook. Maybe I’m just hating on this line because I expected more from Phenom. First of all, ‘i’m so fly, my plane never lands’ was wack, then dude had to go on and explain ‘Never land’ to us. Who the Bleep did you make the track for, five year olds? If this was a freestyle , I wouldn’t mind but I’m sure this was written, and so he must have been pretty impressed with the line for him to release it. Let me kick a rhyme for Phenom. Dear Phenom, this is sad, Like Michael Jackson’s death, sad. 6. “Na jollof music, no be rice and stew” – LYNXXX, ‘EZIOKWU’ Ft Various Artistes. I poo you not, brethren, Lynxxx actually said that. I think he should join Nollywood. His nice physique will be a welcome replacement for the pot bellied, mid-fourties lead actors we have. Because, truth is he’s bleeping up the music industry and his looks is the only thing giving him any sort of buzz. The nigga has never impressed, either intentionally or otherwise. Some might say he was just having fun but I say this is lazy writing. If you want to get away with lines likes like this, make highlife music. With lines like this, little wonder there’s nobody looking out for any new Lynxxx music. 5. “IF YOU’RE SLEEPING ON ME, IT MUST BE UNDER- COVER/ GET IT?”- X.O SENAVOE-TAXI MUSIC The only thing worse than this punchline is the fact that X.O actually had the nerve to repeat the line then asked “get it”?! What in the actual Bleep? This line is TOO BASIC to even repeat or even ask us if we get it! Music lovers are not retards,STOP asking us if we get silly and corny lines! He just had to mess up an otherwise good track with a line like this…..please,no more punchlines that sound like you’re rapping for an autistic audience. 4. “LIKE A CALENDAR, I’VE GOT DATES”- PHYNO FT OLAMIDE. – GHOST MODE Wait…wait…wait, can you feel your brain cells dying already?? Fam, this here is just a shame, let’s work with this punchline and provide phyno with more punchlines… “Like a toolbox, I’ve got tools” (._.) Oga Sarz,oya gimme one mad beat, I’ve arrived! Bonus dead punchline by phyno- “my beat is the killer-serial” WTF ?? 3) “I’M MILK IN THE GAME, NO TEA HOMIE”- ICE PRINCE, JUJU And its a hattrick for the rapper everyone loves! I’m starting to suspect Iceprince is dating a kindergaten chick….nothing else can explain these kind of sappy lines. Please call the pallbearers…there’s a deadline here waiting to be buried. Iceprince is really great at outdoing himself… If you still have a brain at this point, I congratulate you,proceed to the last two lines with utmost caution… 2) “THESE NIGGERS SPASTIC RHYME, MIKE TYSON”- REMINISCE, OMO NAIJA REMIX I’ve played this line like 50million times and it still makes absolutely no sense. So,I’ve been forced to conclude that in the struggle to rhyme, Reminisce just coined one of the stupidest punchlines ever. To be fair to be him,he seemed to be totally out of depth throughout the song…still, its unfair to pry our ears with totally senseless poo cos you wanna prove you can spit punchlines in English. 1) “WHEN YOU HEAR TO-TO, TONTO DIKE”- ERIGGA FT OLAMIDE, PAPER BOI I swear to God I didn’t make this up…a Nigerian rapper actually said this!! Wait let’s play this again…. “When you hear to-to, toto dike” Fam,are you still waiting for a punchline deader than this? His name’s Erigga, Mr. “The gbana wey I dey smoke big pass ur fan base” (._.) Y’all better get out of here while you still have brain cells…. And if you’ve got punchlines deader than these, feel free to drop a comment…. Read Erotic Stories here www.86wiz.com 16 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by dj187: 8:33pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Ice Prince - EFCC come chase my guy 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by mufex(m): 8:38pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Hahahaha, these rappers are really awful! Meh, Nigeria producing sh-tty rappers since 1914. 2 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Thorerah(f): 8:42pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
The thing is unless you're looking to rap along you won't even notice the lyrics. It's mostly about the beats 2 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by godofwar666(m): 8:46pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Hmmmmm you havnt talk idris abdulkareem |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by SPEEDEPITOME(f): 10:06pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
My dumbest of all time remains 'JUST LIKE RICE AND BEANS, EVERY MAN AND WOMAN MUST MIX.....wtf! I can't really place the artiste now. There is a difference between word play and punchline... Op, please note Some of the lines up there are good. If you fault them , then i think you have plenty of lines to take down. My opinion though. 5 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by elobyobi: 10:20pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Lol. Hip hop has changed a lot since the 90s and early 2000s. It was wonderful, when it spoke about the societal ills, then it became manageable when it spoke about violence and guns, then it became barely tolerable when it started talking about nothing but money and bltches. And then it became Nigerianized. The End 6 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Dolemite(f): 10:41pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Hialrious!! |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Profcamsey(m): 11:05pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
i dont understand this. what of Pasuma and Obesere |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by ademi87(m): 11:08pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Otey u dey dere dey hate....punchline ko headline ni...ma lo wa ise se |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by StevinMorgan(m): 11:43pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
SPEEDEPITOME: I need 2 packets of paracetamol.. Gush! |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Neldrizzy(m): 11:58pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
i gety money for My briefcase oh oh #by our very own OBO..... Very wack and stupid... (2) draw ur face for My HEART who de do TATOO, if the manchine no de shey Dem fit use CASHEW #by Eriiga....... ........ (3) the only time i de draw na when i eat okro #by BLack maggic ........ (4) i no they let them pass me like party rice, erigga you too bad you be anti-Christ! #by erriga ...... (5) i they like girls with big booty, CHuK am for DICCK call am CHUKWUDI #by Eriiga again... (6) baby yu de drive me crazy, continue with ur speed of 190 #by erigga .. (7) My punchline bad pass like wen needle enter ur prick hole #by erigga.. (8 ) My flow sweet pass when you the spy who they fvck #by erigga...... (9) na Clarence peters de shoot video, we no manchine gun we de shoot #by erriga. (10) one second this, one second that, i no they write this so you gaz record that, #by OLamide, very wack.. (11) you know we started from the ghetto, now we get oh, shey una know,#by patoranking.......... .... Make i stop for here now, when the thread mak FP i go add more, i never even start... 12 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Ekhemini(m): 1:45am On Oct 08, 2014 |
It shouldn't be just copying and pasting but copying,pasting and editing. 1 Like |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Nobody: 2:14am On Oct 08, 2014 |
More reasons I aint concern about the lyrics,I would rather dance to the beat. Nigerian rappers,saying rubbish since infinity. 6 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Nobody: 2:36am On Oct 08, 2014 |
rubbish or no rubbish, dumb or no dumb the fact remains that they get paid. #owo wo le wa 3 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by SPEEDEPITOME(f): 5:25am On Oct 08, 2014 |
StevinMorgan:Headache? Sorry. |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by mondob2k(m): 6:02am On Oct 08, 2014 |
SPEEDEPITOME:Sound Sultan n Tubaba....Enter the place |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by sekzy99(m): 6:04am On Oct 08, 2014 |
Aint a fan of any |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by SPEEDEPITOME(f): 6:13am On Oct 08, 2014 |
mondob2k:Thanks. That was Sound Sultan's line. 1 Like |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by hatux: 6:13am On Oct 08, 2014 |
IcePrince' dunno what the guy raps*no hating tho* Vector All The Way#The best rapper alive* 2 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Karmatyra(f): 6:21am On Oct 08, 2014 |
lol....naija rappers be like... Baby you a lizard? kos AGAMA eyes on you! rubish! 15 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Akshow: 6:42am On Oct 08, 2014 |
Profcamsey: Are pasuma and Obesere rappers? Do they sing in English? Are u kidding with this silly question? Or are just plainly dumb? Kweshions for the gods 2 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Akshow: 6:47am On Oct 08, 2014 |
Neldrizzy: Lwkmd. Who d hell is this Erigga? Did he actually said "My punchline bad pass like wen needle enter ur prick hole #by erigga.." And all d oda lame arzed lines?, then he should be banned from entering the studio ever again. Wtf, 5 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by olisa4(m): 6:48am On Oct 08, 2014 |
This rappers got no deliveries like blackberry on s.o.s...Lol...phenom comparing rap delivery to s.o.s since 1940.. I throw my money in the air..skye bank-iceberg slim. I stii shine in the dark,so all they do is luke like the chapter after mark-yung6ix you fit play monkey post with monkey?-Lynxxx |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Guykhena(m): 6:56am On Oct 08, 2014 |
Neldrizzy:[img]http://media2./media/775s7pb4DxJtu/200_s.gif[/img] 2 Likes |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by gift01: 7:00am On Oct 08, 2014 |
. |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by iamrealdeji(m): 7:16am On Oct 08, 2014 |
Nigeria rap ain't even rap and they all rap alike,American rappers rap different styles,Snoop's style is entirely different from Gucci Mane's Jeezy's from Chief Keef's Oj Da Juiceman's rap is entirely different from E-40's hyphy style,Canibus scientific lyrics makes him stand out,Big Pun's multi syllabics,Freck Billionaire's punchlines are so tight that you'd think he got his lines from aliens,Rakim rhymes brilliantly that you would think he did 10 years of research to make an album,2 Chainz way of rhyming like life is so easy makes him totally stand out and always have fans laughing,Fabolous soft steady rhymes are so beautiful that you'd want to hear something new from him,everybody knows Meek Mill for shouting and rhyming about struggling and trying to make it big,been hungry for success and they way he yells it makes you know how much he needs what he wants and that inspires hustlers,makes us love him,countless of them,they all have their own styles and are really smart about it,but Nigerian rappers and singers always rap about silly things and always over-compliment girls like they're seeing girls for the first time,i see that as ways of filling up songs they have no lyrics,they just have stupid fill ups,and talk about same subjects all the time 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Nobody: 8:24am On Oct 08, 2014 |
Profcamsey:lol i dnt understand this too,pasuma and obesere ke |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by Nobody: 8:24am On Oct 08, 2014 |
Wiggle wiggle wiggle. 1 Like |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by iamrealdeji(m): 8:29am On Oct 08, 2014 |
Also,ive noticed Nigerian rappers and singers are always talking about "I be fine boy" lol,that shit is just funny like wtf? I've never heard the likes of Nas,French Montana,Jeezy or even white male popstars saying things like that,is it like our entertainers are feeling insecure or is it that they're not exposed? Nigerian music sux |
Re: 10 Dumbest Punchlines By Naija Celebrity Rappers by rigarmortis: 8:45am On Oct 08, 2014 |
phynos line....like a calendar I got all your DATES is actually a lil creative, its double edged with two meanings.........a la.....date......girls....got it?.....strike it from that list 8 Likes |
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