After the seasons of the Throne of Ekitilopia
and the Tword of Prophet TRappatoni , came
a festival of peace in the land of Twilistia and
Social Mediana. Brother cleaved unto brother,
sister unto sister and many a-brother did
verily entereth into the DMs and setteth P
with the sisters.
In this time of peace, the Chief Priestess of
Gossipotamia made it known unto all the
men and women of Social Mediana, that
once had her plea gone unto her father and
twice he had heard her word and yea, had he
now finally acquiesced to her desire to take
for herself a new chariot. And her name was
Melinda the Second. And her new chariot
was a Roving Ranger of the finest Valyrian
steel. And Melinda said she dipped into her
vast coffers and gave Cosmas the Chariot
Seller a mere 24 million shekels for the
chariot. And it was a beautiful chariot to
behold.
Melinda was a great Chief Priestess of
Gossipotamia, probably the greatest the
people of Social Mediana had ever seen. And
she was also a chronicler of the sayings and
doings of the people of Celebritine. And daily,
hordes and throngs of people from Social
Mediana, Gossipotamia and beyond came to
worship at her temple and read her
chronicles.
But a word was said against Melinda. First it
was in a mild whisper from Nathan the
scribe, that she had taken his engraving and
put it on display at her temple. And neither
did she seek his consent nor obtain his
blessing. And the whisper grew into a
rumbling that many of the ornaments in
Melinda’s temple were taken from others and
that her prophecies and chronicles were not
hers. But the Chief Priestess scoffed at the
suggestions.
Finally, shortly after the arrival of her 24
million shekel Valyrian Steel Roving Ranger
Chariot, an obscure man appeared unto the
people of Twilistia and Social Mediana and
bellowed that Melinda had also taken his
engraving, claiming it as hers.
This man, Aydeeveedov, appeared to be a
chronicler himself of the demise of the
Haramites in North Easteros, and his wrath
was incurred against the Chief Priestess of
Gossipotamia and her temple. And lo, waving
his staff in Twislistia Square, did he
proclaim:
“Priestess Melinda, if ye will not
peaceably yield to me my
engraving of the conquest of the
Haramites, and if ye will not
desist from this mendacious path,
then takest thou notice and
knowest thou, beyond a shadow
of a doubt, that I will call upon
the High god Googlam, and he will
answer by fire. And your temple
will become a memory. Yea, shall
no engraving or chronicle rest
upon another.”
And Melinda was silent. But her silence was
the calm before the storm because the
people of the land heard the cry of
Aydeeveedov, and joined their cry unto his
and lo, THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NOT AN
IOTA OF CHILL IN THE LAND!
For 5 days and 5 nights, over the feast of
Eid, did the Twilistines and Social Medianites
make pontification and supplication to the
Chief Priestess. And there arose from
absolutely nowhere an army of Pharisees
deeply versed and intensely steeped, it
seemed, in the ways of Googlam and
engraving theft.
Repent Melinda, said many, for the kingdom
of Googlam is at hand.
Away, said others. The hands of the Chief
Priestess are no dirtier than the hands of
other temple custodians .
Be gone, said yet others, and remove the
envy of the Chief Priestess Melinda from your
hearts. Knowest thou not that she is the first
Priestess of Gossipotamia to acquire a
Valyrian Steel Ranging Rover of 24 million
shekels .
Then the spirit of the Tword came upon
Melinda and she spake. Not of remorse,
repentance or restitution, but of the folly and
jealousness of Aydeeveedov and his
followers. And there was even more unchill.
And at this time, the Prophetess, the scandal
and the furore came to be known as Melinda
Gates. But this part of the revelation was
obscure, so rely on it at your own peril.
And lo, Melinda had a sister, Lauratidyn, who
was full of fury and yea, did Lauratidyn
speak fire unto Ayedeeveedov and High Priest
Nobblatum of the temple of Nobs. And
Lauratidyn descended on Chxta of Greece, for
having dined with Melinda and asking
Melinda to send some worshippers to his
own temple, before he became of fame.
And there was unchill, the likes of which had
never ever been seen.
And then the unchill began to wane and
diminish, until worshippers approached the
Temple of Melinda in Gossipotamia and
beheld the magnificence of its vanishment.
The words of Aydeeveedov had come to
pass, for Googlam had heard his
supplication. But Aydeeveedov merely
unlooked. And the spirit of the demon
schadenfreude swept through Social Mediana
and Twilistia, as many were filled with glee.

Mehnnnn! I am overly impressed with this scriptural chronicle.

Lesson 1: Envy creates silent enemies.

Lesson 2: Never be so foolish as to believe that you're stirring up admiration by flaunting the qualities that raise you above others.

Lesson 3: When you have won a victory, tighten the string of your helmet.

Conclusion: The fool dares the gods of envy by flaunting her victories.