And this is where I think we miss it. Respect should not be a one way street or dependent on age. Older people should also accord the youth respect. In societies like Nigeria, the old has too much power and that needs to be checked for the weak not to be trampled upon. I can understand standing for the aged to have your seat or helping them carry their bags, but the older people need to get a grip, come down their high horse and understand that in this century they will be challenged if they go out of line.

Respect should be earned. Simple.

Just because you're older than me doesn't give you the right to shout me down or talk over me like I don't exist. No one knows it all.

Yes, the older you get, the wiser you should be, but that doesn't make you perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and an older person (especially Nigerians in Nigeria) should learn to accept when they're wrong graciously, and take corrections. They're no one's Alpha and Omega.

I would always advocate for good dialogue and a two-way communication channel. If we're both aggrieved, we'll sit down like civil human beings and air our differences. You state yours, then I state mine, then we work round an amicable solution without shouting out our lungs, screaming hell fire and brimstone at each other.

Nigerian eldears are mini-gods.
And that's not changing any time soon
Make no mistakes about that.

Unfortunately, with age comes experience - not wisdom.

This should be the correct saying.

I'd rather respect an elderly person for his/her experiences (good & bad), than for the wisdom they think they might possess.
Since there's no such thing as possessing infinite wisdom in all things, subjective experience and what I can learn from that is what matters.

cococandy:
Nigerian eldears are mini-gods.
And that's not changing any time soon
Make no mistakes about that.

Lol, not only elders, people in one form of authority or the other, from religious/political institutions to the gateman that controls the gates in a bank. The chip on the shoulder is utterly ridiculous. Let's not even talk about the abuse of power. What Nigerians deem as respect is nothing other than as.s licking most of the time.

True.

Stillfire:


Lol, not only elders, people in one form of authority or the other, from religious/political institutions to the gateman that controls the gates in a bank. The chip on the shoulder is utterly ridiculous. Let's not even talk about the abuse of power. What Nigerians deem as respect is nothing other than as.s licking most of the time.

Stillfire:
And this is where I think we miss it. Respect should not be a one way street or dependent on age. Older people should also accord the youth respect. In societies like Nigeria, the old has too much power and that needs to be checked for the weak not to be trampled upon. I can understand standing for the aged to have your seat or helping them carry their bags, but the older people need to get a grip, come down their high horse and understand that in this century they will be challenged if they go out of line.

are you for real

Respect should be earned. My little brother calls me by my name and I have no qualms with it contrary to the Yoruba tradition of respecting your elders. I probably haven't earned THAT respect cos basically we both depend on the same person for survival. I don't see myself catering for his basic/pressing needs in future and it'd remain the same. I won't have to tell him. He'll readjust.

Nice thread, nice points, nice orientation and nice questions.

To answer your question on whether we should salvage this tradition, my answer is YES. HOW? We should salvage it by teaching it to our younger ones and children through showing perfect example.
REASONS: that's our identity as a people, that's our tradition as a society , that's who we are as a nation.

SECONDLY, the borrowed western culture/ tradition has not helped us as a nation. It makes us live a fake life and devalued us in the eyes of our slave-master. Why should I beat my mother because her thoughts do not go down well with me. Why should I walk almost nude on the street because of fashion? Etc??

I think we as a people must appreciate who we are, build on it because if we don't, nobody will. You become what you present yourself to be. I love to be address as an African wherever I go. We're humble people, WE ARE BLACK PEOPLE, AFRICAN AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT THAT.

with some comments like some above! America has become what it is today *sigh* a morally declined society in respect of family and community interaction! and to think most of the contributors above are going to or are already bringing up the youths of tommorrow! op! you have your answer(s) from the comments on your thread! God bless Nigeria! Her youths and "elders!"........amen!

ritalori2:
are you for real

Yes for real and it's how it ought to be.

Don't even think about telling me we will get old someday. If/when I get old and I have no reason to be respected and I talk nonsense with a younger person, let that person tell me I'm full of nonsense.

Say it's easy to say. Yeah! But even at this stage of my life I don't crave respect where I don't deserve any.

Dygeasy:
Yes for real and it's how it ought to be.

Don't even think about telling me we will get old someday. If/when I get old and I have no reason to be respected and I talk nonsense with a younger person, let that person tell me I'm full of nonsense.

Say it's easy to say. Yeah! But even at this stage of my life I don't crave respect where I don't deserve any.

Dygeasy:
Yes for real and it's how it ought to be.

Don't even think about telling me we will get old someday. If/when I get old and I have no reason to be respected and I talk nonsense with a younger person, let that person tell me I'm full of nonsense.

Say it's easy to say. Yeah! But even at this stage of my life I don't crave respect where I don't deserve any.

Stillfire:
And this is where I think we miss it. Respect should not be a one way street or dependent on age. Older people should also accord the youth respect. In societies like Nigeria, the old has too much power and that needs to be checked for the weak not to be trampled upon. I can understand standing for the aged to have your seat or helping them carry their bags, but the older people need to get a grip, come down their high horse and understand that in this century they will be challenged if they go out of line.

So you don't have any problems with your child calling you by your names, point fingers on your face, tell you that you're stupid, refuses to greet you and expect you to greet him first in the morning??
So its ok for your kids and younger ones to talk back at you without decorum even in the presence of your visitors

So there's no problem if your daughter/son comes in with her/his boy/girlfriend(s) kissing and romancing in your presence?

ok, I reserve my comment.

ritalori2:
are you for real

Cry me a river, boo hoo.

Dlionsheart:

So you don't have any problems with your child calling you by your names, point fingers on your face, tell you that you're stupid, refuses to greet you and expect you to greet him first in the morning??
So its ok for your kids and younger ones to talk back at you without decorum even in the present of your visitors
So there's no problem if your daughter/son comes in with her/his boy/girlfriend(s) kissing and romancing in your presence?
ok, I reserve my comment.

If a child goes out of line, he ought to be corrected. We have PhDs in that already.
If an adult- middle aged, elderly, whatever- ventures out of line, he must be checked. Age should not give anybody immunity.
Nigeria has bred a lot of entitled tyrannical adults that want their egos to be caressed all the time.
I see more mannerless adults than I see children.

What can I say?
Efe nailed it, stillfire too!

Dygeasy:
Respect should be earned. My little brother calls me by my name and I have no qualms with it contrary to the Yoruba tradition of respecting your elders. I probably haven't earned THAT respect cos basically we both depend on the same person for survival. I don't see myself catering for his basic/pressing needs in future and it'd remain the same. I won't have to tell him. He'll readjust.

you don't need money to gain your bro's respect.
Just be his BIG BROTHER and the respect will flow.
and by respect, I don't mean calling you uncle or all that, I mean respect in the real sense of the word,

alutacontinua:

you don't need money to gain your bro's respect.
Just be his BIG BROTHER and the respect will flow.
and by respect, I don't mean calling you uncle or all that, I mean respect in the real sense of the word,

Right. Was just citing an example to drive home my point about earning respect.

Mr. Follow-Follow, make you open sense! Pararampa!

Society always challenge the instructions from the Holy Book.

I Timothy 5:12
"Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity."

Proverbs 19:20
"Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future."

Hebrews 13:17
"Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you."

---------------------------------------------------------

Respect my assss. That is why monsters like OBJ are respected by sheepish Nigerians just because they are elderly.

Respect is not a birth right,it is earned.

Stillfire:

If a child goes out of line, he ought to be corrected. We have PhDs in that already.
If an adult- middle aged, elderly, whatever- ventures out of line, he must be checked. Age should not give anybody immunity.
Nigeria has bred a lot of entitled tyrannical adults that want their egos to be caressed all the time.
I see more mannerless adults than I see children.

He must be checked by who? A kid? An Adult? Who should check an adult when he goes outta line??

Dygeasy:
Yeah! But even at this stage of my life I don't crave respect where I don't deserve any.

What if you deserve it? What if respect isn't accorded to you by a kid and an adult when you deserve it?

..

Dlionsheart:

To answer your question on whether we should salvage this tradition, my answer is YES. HOW? We should salvage it by teaching it to our younger ones and children through showing perfect example.
REASONS: that's our identity as a people, that's our tradition as a society , that's who we are as a nation.

SECONDLY, the borrowed western culture/ tradition has not helped us as a nation.

WE ARE BLACK PEOPLE, AFRICAN AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT THAT.

A well defined point of view....

I had to shorten it a bit....

vickyO:


What if you deserve it? What if respect isn't accorded to you by a kid and an adult when you deserve it?

Then that is the kid's problem. I don't think there's much I'd be able to do then.

Some things shouldn't be forced e.g Respect.

Seun, Mynd44......let's publicize this thread.....it does worth it.



I wanna hear more from both sides.