Stillfire:

But Damiso do African men practice the attributes of Jesus Christ? That is the koko.
Was Jesus a walking bag of ego? Or a symbol of humility and grace?
Let's be honest, is the African man a symbol of humility and grace?
Was Jesus going about seeking for whom to kiss his black yansh and ego?
Omotola Jalade Ekeinde's husband cannot say sorry to her, is that Christ-like? She cited ego as the problem, lol.
At this rate, African men will not make heaven, lol.

damiso:
I believe the head of our household is my husband because I am a Christian and that belief is an offshoot of my faith.

That said its not something that we constantly have to talk about or dwell on or that he has to keep shouting 'I am the head'.It also does not mean he gets to take all decisions unilaterally.We just get on with family life and work as a team to get stuff done.

We both have our strengths and weaknesses and we complement each other to work for the good of the family and home we are building.You will often hear him say 'I need to ask my wife as she is better than me when it comes to that' I think he even says it more than I do sef.He trusts my judgement (intially I used to say I told you so ALOT but I think I have matured abit now) and even though sometimes he does not agree with my POV alot of times I find out we tend to do things by compromising.I will give an example I am the one who is more hung up on the kids doing certain activities and I tend to drive my daughter alot.He used to leave me to it as he feels I have a better grasp of the educational system but he had to step in tell me off about me constantly being on the poor girl's case.He was the one who cancelled out my 1hr compulsory school work everyday after school (after swimming, kumon, ballet and soon drama school) we are even still arguing on whether to cut back on extra curricular she is not enjoying e.g Kumon (trust her to not enjoy the educational one ).He did not decree No more kumon as the head we just talk about it and both marshall our points and even I realised I had to chill as I guess the kind of family I come from makes me kinda hung up on educational achievements.

damiso:


I can't speak for All african men naa That's why I said its individual family individual thing.


I try not to stereotype though(its hard sha I won't lie) but there are african men who are not egocentric.

Besides not all African Men are Christians.I see it from the Christian view but not only Christians see men as the head of the family.
In a way its that pervasive culture of Authority meaning subjugation and this is not just husband wife relationship. Its madam- house help or driver, its teacher- student boss- subordinate even elected official feels he can subjugate those he is elected to serve.Some pastors sef


If we imbibe that thought that when I lead or hold authority its not an avenue to lord it over people I think things might be a bit better.

Stillfire:


Ok let me paraphrase do African christian men imbibe the exceptional qualities of Jesus Christ?
We can say some men are not egocentric, but reality shows men even evident on NL crying always for their egos to be kissed be it christian or animist.
The word head defined by attaining the qualities of Jesus Christ is a biblical construct. African culture/religion practices something else not headship. Those who are not christians better choose something else to call themselves. Maybe oga! Those who choose to be called heads must exhibit the qualities of Jesus Christ.
On the other hand, do you think there's more emphasis on female submission than teaching the qualities of Jesus Christ to men in churches today?

damiso:


1 .the head of the family is the one who charts the course and vision for the family.i see it more as s duty and responsiblity rather than an automatic lordship title. I choose it see again from the Christian view as a sacrificial giving role and not necessary a 'lord of the manor' thing.Christ was a servant leader and that what is the head of the home should be.again I acknowledge not everyone is going to tow that school of thought so each to his own

2. I don't get the context of different in this question. Function? Again its fluid and varies from person to person or family to family.

3.Situations again depends on parties involved and the issues being discussed. If we have differing opinions on an issue sometimes I just go with his view and sometimes he says let's do it your way.e.g I used to go for midweek services with the kids on weeknights and he never liked the idea.He has now decided that I should stop taking the kids with me as he does not like the idea of my daughter going to bed late on a schoolnight.I was initially miffed but thinking about it i realised that this was not to spite my Bible study cell group but really a practical decision based on our daughters wellbeing.On days he gets home early I leave him to sort bedtime and go for my bible study . Unfortunately on days he gets back late it means I don't go. My pastor is always on my case that I don't come for bible study every week but I don't mind anymore as I am ready to stand by His decision on not compromising his child's sleep.

But mine and chilli's esponses were similar naa i.e drawn from personal experiences how come you asked me to answer another set of question naa

hispinkolo:
First of all,in my home,by defacto I assume it's the hubster.Fortunately,he has a great head on his shoulders and is calm..I can be very temperamental and this sometimes affects my judgement ,so when my blood is boiling he takes over cos i know whatever i decide at that moment may lead to disaster.



How would you explain to someone who comes from another planet what the head of the family is?
Head of the family is the person who leads the rat pack..whose moral and intellectual behavior are scruitinised at all times..someone who must not be a hypocrite so as not to lead the others astray.Must be humble and a servant to the followers
I know for sure that it's not sitting on a couch like a sack of beans and expecting to be served day and night or snoring into my ears like an ox.


- Which responsibilities / duties and privileges does it entail in your opinion?
In my home,it's a cross,a huuuge responsibility.Head of the family carries the heavier bags.When we are staying at a hotel,head of the family has to hunt (go and buy)for food for the pack.
Ofcourse if fire is burning,the head of the family is required to wait for other members to get to safety before saving himself.
Also jump infront of and take bullets for the rest if such a case arises.

- What makes the person different from other family members?
Nothing much,just that you know your life is more endangered than others if duty calls.Yeah and you eat the drumstick,while i eat the thigh.

- In which situations specifically would the head have to make the final decision?
When we are lost and needing directions,he's good with maps.I do the planning,he executes.It's a symbiotic relationship,we have different strengths and we pool these together for the good of the family.

Generally before any major decisions are made,we discuss it in order to avoid unnecessary friction and arrive at a compromise.

damiso:
I believe the head of our household is my husband because I am a Christian and that belief is an offshoot of my faith.

That said its not something that we constantly have to talk about or dwell on or that he has to keep shouting 'I am the head'.It also does not mean he gets to take all decisions unilaterally.We just get on with family life and work as a team to get stuff done.


this is a womam
We both have our strengths and weaknesses and we complement each other to work for the good of the family and home we are building.You will often hear him say 'I need to ask my wife as she is better than me when it comes to that' I think he even says it more than I do sef.He trusts my judgement (intially I used to say I told you so ALOT but I think I have matured abit now) and even though sometimes he does not agree with my POV alot of times I find out we tend to do things by compromising.I will give an example I am the one who is more hung up on the kids doing certain activities and I tend to drive my daughter alot.He used to leave me to it as he feels I have a better grasp of the educational system but he had to step in tell me off about me constantly being on the poor girl's case.He was the one who cancelled out my 1hr compulsory school work everyday after school (after swimming, kumon, ballet and soon drama school) we are even still arguing on whether to cut back on extra curricular she is not enjoying e.g Kumon (trust her to not enjoy the educational one ).He did not decree No more kumon as the head we just talk about it and both marshall our points and even I realised I had to chill as I guess the kind of family I come from makes me kinda hung up on educational achievements.

First of all,in my home,by defacto I assume it's the hubster.Fortunately,he has a great head on his shoulders and is calm..I can be very temperamental and this sometimes affects my judgement ,so when my blood is boiling he takes over cos i know whatever i decide at that moment may lead to disaster.



How would you explain to someone who comes from another planet what the head of the family is?
Head of the family is the person who leads the rat pack..whose moral and intellectual behavior are scruitinised at all times..someone who must not be a hypocrite so as not to lead the others astray.Must be humble and a servant to the followers
I know for sure that it's not sitting on a couch like a sack of beans and expecting to be served day and night or snoring into my ears like an ox.


- Which responsibilities / duties and privileges does it entail in your opinion?
In my home,it's a cross,a huuuge responsibility.Head of the family carries the heavier bags.When we are staying at a hotel,head of the family has to hunt (go and buy)for food for the pack.
Ofcourse if fire is burning,the head of the family is required to wait for other members to get to safety before saving himself.
Also jump infront of and take bullets for the rest if such a case arises.

- What makes the person different from other family members?
Nothing much,just that you know your life is more endangered than others if duty calls.Yeah and you eat the drumstick,while i eat the thigh.

- In which situations specifically would the head have to make the final decision?
When we are lost and needing directions,he's good with maps.I do the planning,he executes.It's a symbiotic relationship,we have different strengths and we pool these together for the good of the family.

Generally before any major decisions are made,we discuss it in order to avoid unnecessary friction and arrive at a compromise.

softysparky:

You have said it all.
I think a responsible husband and father is unarguably the head of the family.