• 10 percent of parents harshly scold their children and do
not see anything wrong with this
• 20 percent of parents severely scold their children but do
not wish to do so. They are looking for a better way to
discipline their children.
Even if I doubt these figures because I believe that the
numbers are much more than this, few parents use beating
correctly as a means of punishment.
Specialists still have different opinions about the efficiency
of punishment through beating. They also disagree whether
or not this is an efficient practice employed in a sound
upbringing. However, most of them believe that beating
does not change the child's behavior. Rather, it is just a
temporary remedy for the child's bad behavior, but in fact it
teaches the child nothing.
Given this logic, specialists divided the parents' methods in
punishing their children into three different methods:
1. The impulsive method:
This method is also known as the “day-long” method.
Mostly, this method is a reaction of the parents to their
children's behavior in their daily life. This is commonly
used with young children in particular. Their parents are not
quite serious when they beat them violently. They often pull
their children by their clothes with one hand and move the
other hand in the air. In most cases, the beating is
symbolic and the child screams thereafter and then returns
to play again. This is the so-called "beat the child on his
hand" method.
Many parents rashly use this method when their children do
something wrong, like touching the electricity cord and
similar actions. The children are excused because they
neither know nor imagine that this is harmful. The parent
should explain to his child why touching such things is not
allowed and this justifies beating. Then, the parent should
keep such things away from the child or keep him away
from them and hence, the children will imitate him. If
parents simply resort to beating, children too will just learn
how to beat.
2. The anger method:
It is the most prevalent and the most harmful method.
When you get angry and then scold and beat your child, this
leads to a number of problems, including teaching your
child how to provoke you and make you angry, and that his
bad behavior causes you to lose control over yourself.
Scolding and beating in moments of anger is impulsive
behavior and is often a reaction to the child's bad behavior.
If you scold your child and beat him when you are angry,
you are unaware of what you are doing and you may harm
your child.
When you scold and beat your child if you are angry, this
creates negative feelings. Actually, you create these
feelings inside yourself, your child as well as the rest of
your family members. Such feelings could destroy your
child's self-confidence due to extreme fear of parents and
feeling that their parents have no confidence in them.
Besides, the Prophet (SAW) forbade us from getting angry
when he said: “Do not get angry.”

When you scold your child or beat him when you are angry,
you mostly do so out of revenge. Thereafter, your feeling of
guilt gets more and more severe until it finally explodes.
3. The planning method:
Although it is rarely used, this is the third method used by
parents and it is the best method for those who want to
punish their children through beating. It is when a parent
talks to his child about an episode of bad behavior and tells
him that he will be punished with a beating if he repeats
such an action again. Say, for example, “If you use bad
language, you will be punished by a beating.” When your
child talks obscenely, you are required to quietly beat him.
Quietness is crucial here because if you are not quiet, this
means that you are using the anger method in punishing
through beating. This method involves the implication:
“beating you hurts me more than you.”
www.islamweb.net/emainpage/articles/195466/beating-the-child
Allah knows best