16. You have final exams by 8am and
you wake up by 11am.
15. If you work in a company for 10
years, without promotion or raise in
salary.
14. When you fail BOTH maths and
english in WAEC.
13. If you slap a military man.
12. If your car spends more time at
the mechanic than on the road.
11. If you are an ARSENAL fan.
10. When you are posted to
maiduguri for NYSC.
9. When you are stuck in an elevator
with a Boko Haram sucide bomber.
8. When you mistaken super glue for
eye drops.
7. If a world class photographer
takes a photo of you, edits it 20
times and you still look WUGLY.
6. When you upchuck pounded yam
and egusi in
church during a 3 day fasting and
prayer session.
5. You sign as a defender for an
European club and your first task is
to mark Lionel Messi.
4. When you beat up a military
man’s ONLY child.
3. When a rat eats ONLY your name
out of all your original documents.
2. When your ONLY child, born after
years of miscarraiges, joins the
Nigerian Police force.
1. And the NumBAAH WAN sign to
know forces are
following you from yah villages is:
You are a christian, and disguise
yourself as muslim in the midst of
Boko Haram, and your cell-phone
goes off during muslim prayer time,
with a “LET SAMBADI SAUT
HALLELUYAH!!” ringtone
~ GOOD MORNING

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