For example, I have seen wives spend more time, energy, and resources “supporting the pastor’s vision” than supporting their own husband and his endeavors. When the pastor tells them to show up at some church function, they show up without question or hesitation ready to sacrifice their time, talents, and money. But where is this attitude of submission, obedience, and zeal to serve their own husbands?

A woman who is more supportive of her pastor than her own husband has her priorities out of order. A wife is suppose to be her HUSBAND’S help-meet, NOT her pastor’s. The PASTOR’S WIFE is his help-meet, not married women in the congregation that he is suppose to be serving and encouraging to be faithful to their husbands.

I have seen wives both on the internet and in church meetings shower their pastor with accolades, praise, and adoration. With a starry-eyed look, they boast about how wonderful their pastor is, how anointed and gifted he is, and how blessed they are to have such a mighty man of God in their life. Now am I saying that it’s wrong for wives to compliment elders and express appreciation for those who serve well? Not at all. But there is a huge difference between showing double honor to an elder and showering him with praise and accolades as if he died on the cross for your salvation. A wife should never boast in her pastor, but only in the Lord Jesus Christ and His Cross. And a wife should never compliment her pastor more than she compliments and uplifts her own husband.

Ladies, your pastor was not crucified for you — Jesus was. Nor did your pastor vow to love you in sickness and in health, for better or for worse — your husband did. No man deserves the fruit of your lips more than Jesus and your husband.

I have seen wives gossip, backbite, and speak negatively of their husbands, then turn around and praise their pastor. Why is it okay for you to put down the head of your marriage, yet you wouldn’t dare speak of your pastor in such a manner nor allow anyone else to do so? Do you feel like your pastor is a better man than your husband? Do you think that your pastor is perfect or superhuman? He isn’t. And surely your husband has good qualities otherwise you wouldn’t have married him right? So there are positive qualities to compliment him for.

Even if you don’t think your husband is being the most godly husband he could be, don’t speak death, doom, and discouragement to your marriage by exposing all of his flaws to your friends — pray for and with your husband, speak LIFE and encouragement to him. Complimenting your husband and showing him how much you appreciate him will bring out the best in him. Let your speech be seasoned with grace, not grumbling, complaining, and constant fault-finding. After all, you and your husband are ONE FLESH, which means that his faults are your own and you are to share his burdens which fulfills the Law of Christ.

Even if your husband doesn’t obey the Gospel, that’s not an excuse or a justification to rebel against him. God’s order of headship for the family still stands, whether your husband is a mature Believer or not. Submit to your husband and respect him, and your godly example will speak to him without words and he will be won over by observing your pure and reverent life (1 Peter 3:1-2).

Read the rest here ;

http://exitchurchianity.com/2012/04/10/spouses-who-worship-their-pastor/