Am not new on this forum,but i have always been on ghost mood lol.Please mature advise needed i have not insulted anybody before so pls


I have grown in love with my student pastor we are both students in the same year 2nd year to be specific.Iam in my late teens he is in his early 20s(i said grown in love because am not infatuated neither is it love at ist sight i noticed him last year but grew in love with him early this year)my friends thinks he likes me because he shows me so much care and attention more than anyone else.The truth is i feel the chemistry anytime we are together but he hasn't said anything or given the slightest hint that he would like to be in a relationship with me? i resolved to wait patiently and see if it would blossom to something beautiful,but it hurts because sometimes i feel like am holding on false hope.Your advise is needed.Should i take a bold step and ask? or should i wait?

views but no single comment, why na

When they wake up in the morning, they'll reply. Just wait a bit.

But I'll ask you, do you feel comfortable walking to him and bringing this up? If you are, please take the bold step. If you aren't, then please don't. And if in the end you don't end up with him, take it as one of those lost opportunities. It happens...

Abeg face your books joor!!!!....I kid


Anyhow late teens, 18/19?


If you like am go for it, the worse he can say is no. You will get over it. The pastor thing may limit him but I don't think there is anything written against expressing your feelings to a woman in the bible, that is if he is into you.. Nothing against courting.

Then again, if you aren't ready for marriage and you know pastors are big on marriage(the genuine ones), being in a relationship with him could lead to temptation If he isn't strong in the spirit. You will just open doors which may lead him to hell.

If I were in your shoes, I will tell him but that's just how I am. Every person is different.

naomieluv:
views but no single comment, why na

Madam you are still very young, why don't you allow love, if there is any, chart it's course. In other words wait, face your studies and let pastor, continue his pastoral work, when the two of you eventually becomes an item, you sit back and cherish the bliss it brings fort, without any inhibitions.

MARKone:


Madam you are still very young, why don't you allow love, if there is any, chart it's course. In other words wait, face your studies and let pastor, continue his pastoral work, when the two of you eventually becomes an item, you sit back and cherish the bliss it brings fort, without any inhibitions.

This could work but if a woman cares, it will be very difficult to put that aside especially at her age(guessing she hasn't been in many relationships). Those with experience can easily put it aside.

goofyone:
When they wake up in the morning, they'll reply. Just wait a bit.

But I'll ask you, do you feel comfortable walking to him and bringing this up? If you are, please take the bold step. If you aren't, then please don't. And if in the end you don't end up with him, take it as one of those lost opportunities. It happens...

i wouldnt be comfortable bringing it up because i am vewy shy and he is also shy

MARKone:


Madam you are still very young, why don't you allow love, if there is any, chart it's course. In other words wait, face your studies and let pastor, continue his pastoral work, when the two of you eventually becomes an item, you sit back and cherish the bliss it brings fort, without any inhibitions.

i resolved to wait patiently and see if it would blossom to something beautiful,but it hurts because sometimes i feel like am holding on false hope

kandiikane:

This could work but if a woman cares, it will be very difficult to put that aside especially at her age(guessing she hasn't been in many relationships). Those with experience can easily put it aside.

hmm u seem to be very experienced

naomieluv:
hmm u seem to be very experienced

maybe....
I am never one to wait when it comes to matters of my heart. I did that in high school, we both liked each other and everyone knew but we just never took that step. Even though that was a high school crush thing it just shows how waiting to see what happens can lead to nothing. As I was growing up I realised I cannot be there forming and taking long. Years ago, I met my partner and I said mbanu, i cant just be someone's one night stand or a minute's romance and so, years later we are still waxing strong.

Its only in this part of the world that people see a lady asking a guy out as a big deal..

Even Matthew 7:7 said "Ask,and you shall be given".

Dear; I strongly recommend that u try as much as possible to avoid any distraction for both of you. WHAT WILL BE YOURS will NEVER MISS U. Find s way of dealing with the situation. Probably by avoiding him. If u really love him, try not to distract him

naomieluv:


i wouldnt be comfortable bringing it up because i am vewy shy and he is also shy

If you really won't be comfortable doing this, just kill it. Don't do it, else it mightn't come right. Perhaps for adventure you could and then you could take whatever comes out of it. For real though, just don't do it.

My dear, it is not a sin to have feelings towards someone. It is not equally a sin to wait to grow up and mature.

He is young, you are equally young. What do you want him to tell you at this stage; oh that he love u, under his father's roof, considering the fact that both of you are Christians and fornication is not an option?


I suggest you wait. As you mature the relationship matures with you.

Many committed relationships started from school, why should yours be different cos you are a christain. Many peeps, christains especially regretted not giving relationships like this a trial. I personally think being christains will guide you not to go immoral, if you are focus though. You stand to gain experience of being in a relationship that may or may not lead any where in the future. Before you know it two more years is over, its worth trying as it may serve as a stepping stone. If you decide to give it a go, then take the lead before one new sharp year one sister take the bull be the horn (i have seen this happen and they are heading for the alter), remember introverts are tilted towards extroverts. Engage him in chats on issues especially personal ones whenever the need arise. During one of those personal chats, ask him his take on relationship, then drop the question 'do you find me attractive relationship wise?' like any ordinary statement. Ensure you use your girl power to extract an answer in words/actions for you may not be bold enough to repeat the question another time. Encourage him to visit as well ONLY if you have roommates. I think its a friendship worth enjoying, provided you do not invest too much energy so as not to get hurt. HOWEVER if you are not a focus type, dont jeopardize your or a brother's future.

Awwww young love. We all faced it. I say send him a note, whatever happens you learn and grow.

True love isn’t just expressed in passionately whispered words or
an intimate kiss or an embrace; before two people are married, love is
expressed in self-control, patience, even words left unsaid.

If you have not talked to him about it please DON'T. If he is a pastor like you said. He will not want to distract your studies by bringing discussions like this at this age. He wants you to grow and become very matured to avoid any sin. Another thing is most pastors will not appreciate aa lady wooing them, they want a special lady they crushed on forever so stay cool, be good with your books and be a good girl, he will come to you in due time. I'm talking out of experience

I see nothing wrong with you telling him what you feel. Whatever his response will be, I am sure he will feel flattered. There is nothing wrong with having feelings for someone and showing it.

I hope he feels the same but if not, make sure you can handle it maturely.

Good luck and best wishes.