I was close to a family whose dad demonstrated a special love and affinity to one child in particular out of all his children. It was so bad that it made the others feel unwanted in the process.

This lead to some serious disputes in their home, to the extent that one of the older kids fought with the dad. The disputes culminated in the dad and mum going their separate ways.

My father's household had its fair share favoritism for a number of my siblings but this wasn't as bad as the case described above.

Though I saw their face lit up when they spoke about their 'prefered', they didn't allow this shirk their responsibility and care to the rest of us, thus it did not degenerate to something unwanted.

I think, sometimes, parents have favourites irrespective of their best efforts not to. What matters, in my view, is how they handle it and make other children feel loved also.

What do you think?

I think that it is quite natural that you are particularly fond of one of your children, just like it is natural for kids to prefer their mother or father. It happens but parents should be mature enough to not let their kids feel it.

We can't choose our parents and our parents can't choose us. Some kids have a lovely personality and others are rebellious. Even though, parents love all their kids, some are just more "likable" for one reason or another.

You ve nailed it already..how to handle it and make other children feel loved also.
Just try not to show it (or make it too obvious)

carefreewannabe:
I think that it is quite natural that you are particularly fond of one of your children, just like it is natural for kids to prefer their mother or father. It happens but parents should be mature enough to not let their kids feel it.

We can't choose our parents and our parents can't choose us. Some kids have a lovely personality and others are rebellious. Even though, parents love all their kids, some are just more "likable" for one reason or another.

I agree totally!

Its just natural!

its natural...and inevitable....

but the best tin is.....

dont ever show it out!!!

example from jacob and Esau...


isaac loved esau...and rebecca loved jacob

na war dem cos na.....u know the story very wel

patrickdarlins:
its natural...and inevitable....

but the best tin is.....

dont ever show it out!!!

example from jacob and Esau...


isaac loved jacob...and rebecca loved esau...

na war dem cos na.....u know the story very wel

True!

you can't love them equally
but
treat them equally by so doing they will have a sense of belonging because we can't hide from the facts that we do have favourite among our children just like we do have favorite in the kind of food we take in

.

patrickdarlins:
its natural...and inevitable....

but the best tin is.....

dont ever show it out!!!

example from jacob and Esau...


isaac loved jacob...and rebecca loved esau...

na war dem cos na.....u know the story very wel

Huh?

I've not felt it b4 , maybe it's because I never get pikin.

sometimes some parent chose their favourites depending on the most respectful,hard working child among their kids and sometimes is natural

Maybe it's natural. Can't say. For now, I ddon't have any special affinity for any of my kids.

But like you all have pointed out, parents should mask such preferences so as not to cause undue commotion in the home. I wasn't my parents best when growing up, but I'm my dad's best NOW.

It's a terrible thing to be in such a situation where your parents SHOW special preferences to your to your other siblings tthe same isn't said about you.

But then i still believe some kids endear themselves to their parents more than others.

I only have one child will comment more after two more kids if I pick a favourite.
I wasn't my moms favourite growing up, but now am the most successful I become her favorite which sometimes I tell her its because of my money.

Parents should handle it wisely because in extreme cases it can lead to hatred among siblings.

carefreewannabe:
I think that it is quite natural that you are particularly fond of one of your children, just like it is natural for kids to prefer their mother or father. It happens but parents should be mature enough to not let their kids feel it.

We can't choose our parents and our parents can't choose us. Some kids have a lovely personality and others are rebellious. Even though, parents love all their kids, some are just more "likable" for one reason or another.

I totally disagree.
I don't prefer any of my parents.
I love both of them just as much as I possibly can.

Miami11:
I only have one child will comment more after two more kids if I pick a favourite.
I wasn't my moms favourite growing up, but now am the most successful I become her favorite which sometimes I tell her its because of my money.

That's very brave of you.

I don't think I can be that brave.

LadyX:
Parents should handle it wisely because in extreme cases it can lead to hatred among siblings.

I agree!

alutacontinua:


I totally disagree.
I don't prefer any of my parents.
I love both of them just as much as I possibly can.

Wow!

That's quite rare!

I love both my parents but I am drawn to one more than the other in terms of how I relate with them.

striktlymi:


That's very brave of you.

I don't think I can be that brave.

My mom would make it obvious that I was not her favorite, I knew it, I hated her, I doubted many times if I was her real biological daughter.
now wait until her two favorites dropped out of high school numerously and I sailed through successfuly.
I think she feels guilty and tries to make it up now. I forgave her but it was traumatic life for me growing up.

Miami11:

My mom would make it obvious that I was not her favorite, I knew it, I hated her, I doubted many times if I was her real biological daughter.
now wait until her two favorites dropped out of high school numerously and I sailed through successfuly.
I think she feels guilty and tries to make it up now. I forgave her but it was traumatic life for me growing up.

Sorry you had to go through that.

I am glad you proved to be someone with a large heart and forgave her.

I don`t love any of my kid`s more than the other.

alutacontinua:


I totally disagree.
I don't prefer any of my parents.
I love both of them just as much as I possibly can.

Good for you

I also love both of my parents equally but they played different roles at different stages of my life.

Miami11:

My mom would make it obvious that I was not her favorite, I knew it, I hated her, I doubted many times if I was her real biological daughter.
now wait until her two favorites dropped out of high school numerously and I sailed through successfuly.
I think she feels guilty and tries to make it up now. I forgave her but it was traumatic life for me growing up.

I can totally relate with you. My elder sis went through hell such that she had to tell pple that mumsy was her step mother. Me sef nko, i doubted her maternity over me. But our middle sis, ooo that was an angel. it is well jare. story too much.