Somewomen lack manners and in her mind she is within her rights to insult you

Anyway just ignore, Dont go asking for anything or speaking to her yet to avoid another torrent of abuse and if she is still persisting leave the house before she provokes you to act in a way that might spoil your prayers

you say this is one occassion too many,means she's gone off the handle like this several times before.

Since you understand verbal abuse and how damaging it can be to the psyche(as shown in your detailed OP), kindly educate her.
All that speech that preceded your story should be given to her and since we don't know her, it is your duty to do that.

If you find you can't communicate effectively to her, just type it and send it to her inbox.
She will benefit from it as some women who are sharp tongued don't even realize it is a horrible thing they are doing.

made2fit:
No poster, u are not wrong. Ideally, there should be people in our lives that we are most concerned about in certain areas. For instance if I were to be in ur shoes, I will consider a frail aunt, a sickly relative, my aged parents etc before I even think about my hubby. Same thing for if I were to pray for financial breakthrough for loved ones, I will first consider that my uncle who has been struggling all his life etc before hubby. Your wife is jst being petty and immature. Ask God to give her wisdom. "A wise woman builds her home but a foolish one destroys it with her own hands"

As if death comes based on age or frailty,I think it's only natural to want to be first in your spouse's heart, she overreacted(if she acted solely on what OP reported) but don't make it sound like she's not even supposed to ask.

P.S. Names calling isn't how to communicate.

cococandy:
you say this is one occassion too many,means she's gone off the handle like this several times before.

Since you understand verbal abuse and how damaging it can be to the psyche(as shown in your detailed OP), kindly educate her.
All that speech that preceded your story should be given to her and since we don't know her, it is your duty to do that.

If you find you can't communicate effectively to her, just type it and send it to her inbox.
She will benefit from it as some women who are sharp tongued don't even realize it is a horrible thing they are doing.

Thank you, my sister. I will find some calm time to explain how damaging hurtful words are to me..

It's just that I have always said I wouldn't tolerate direct insults. She knows my stand on it. But she keeps going at it.....

dein77:

It's just that I have always said I wouldn't tolerate direct insults. She knows my stand on it. But she keeps going at it.....

Not to tell you how to run your home - but if your wife has been mouthing off to you and keeps going at it despite knowing your stand, then I'm afraid this stand of yours hasn't been made clear enough.

dein77:


Thank you, my sister. I will find some calm time to explain how damaging hurtful words are to me..

It's just that I have always said I wouldn't tolerate direct insults. She knows my stand on it. But she keeps going at it.....

Sometimes saying your stand on something doesn't always mean the other person understands why that is your stand.

The solution lies in her not only understanding it is your stand but also understanding why it is your stand.

Knowing it is your stand alone is not enough to stop her(evidently)
Make her understand the effects her actions have on you. One would think a grown up spouse understands the effects of deep hurtful words but you'd be surprised that not all do. So spell it out for her.

That is communication.

crackhaus:

Not to tell you how to run your home - but if your wife has been mouthing off to you and keeps going at it despite knowing your stand, then I'm afraid this stand of yours hasn't been made clear enough.

Dear, what do you suggest?

dein77:


My brother, e tire me; I no go lie.

lol

dein77:


Dear, what do you suggest?

Lol @dear

I suggest you make her know the consequences of being mouthy and resort to actions if necessary, be firm.

lofty900:
she was studying d holy Bible and in a space of 5mins closed d Bible in anger and started raining abuses. women sha

It beats me. All these after apologies from the man.

dein77:
Good morning, my good people. It's a privilege to be both alive and well...
This writ isn't about bashing the women folks. We can't really do much without their company, advice and support. It's about addressing an issue isolated with ONE woman.

It's not even about giving my wife a bad name. She's being a huge path on my life. It's about a matter i consider very touchy to me.

Thank God it's a faceless forum, hence we can bring up some deeply private issues so others can advise, rebuke where necessary, correct and exhort us.

The world pays more attention to physical abuse because it's consequences and scars are physical and tangible. But i believe verbal abuse is even more traumatic than physical abuse. The impacts of its are unseen, hardy known to outsiders, and yet even more destabilising and frustrating. It's scars lie beneath sur face.

Verbal abuse also posts a significant threat to the overall wellbeing of a home. I hate being it's recipient. Maybe that's why I don't dole it to anyone, especially my wife.

Couples of course do disagree once in a while in every healthy marriage. And it doesn't need to degenerate to name calling or direct abuses. No human is perfect. I can't claim I'm the perfect husband. I may sometimes be a bit too touchy when words are hauled at me. I hate being bullied. Tonight was one occasion too many.

I had gone for a church programme late last year. And the pastor asked us to write on a paper the names of all our loved ones so he could prayed against DEATH on their behalf. I wrote the names that flooded my mind that moment. We didn't have much time shaaa. This list is still in my Bible as I type.

My wife saw the list as she was studying my Bible. She observed, even to my surprise, that some other names came before hers. Some relatives of our both families came before hers on the list. I was even ashamed myself. I explained the situation and apologised immediately that it shouldn't be taken too seriously. She furiously closed the Bible and the torrents of abuses commenced. I know most women to be very detailed, observant and detailed. I'm still surprised that such a matter could create some tension in the home. I'm still struggling to continue my RCCG fast today. This ought not so to be.

Eyah. Kpele. Not eating can have serious effect in the brain. You dont think straight especially when you are fasting . You become easily paranoid and weak to do certain things. I hope she is not like this without the fasting if not.....

Anyway, tell her to drink this custard and cool her temper. She should also consider fasting for only 4hrs per day to reduce her nagging and emotional abuse. That's what I would have done. I wouldn't dream of fasting as long as 6hrs unless I was sleeping. Even in my dream sef I dey eat.
Kpele dear, cheer up !

Chillisauce:


Eyah. Kpele. Not eating can have serious effect in the brain. You dont think straight especially when you are fasting . You become easily paranoid and weak to do certain things. I hope she is not like this without the fasting if not.....

Anyway, tell her to drink this custard and cool her temper. She should also consider fasting for only 4hrs per day to reduce her nagging and emotional abuse. That's what I would have done. I wouldn't dream of fasting as long as 6hrs unless I was sleeping. Even in my dream sef I dey eat.
Kpele dear, cheer up !

Chilli you're not well o

cococandy:


Chilli you're not well o

No mind am. ...

cococandy:


Chilli you're not well o

Why? Cos I eat in my dream ?. It's very normal.

I remember those days I still go to church very well , was supposed to fast for three days. The first day was when I saw over ripe plantain and custard as breakfast. Na so I shift my fasting from 5 am to 9am. 4hrs.

When you fast, you supposed to lock yourself up. Because you can be a distraction to your self and others .

Chillisauce:


Why? Cos I eat in my dream ?. It's very normal.

I remember those days I still go to church very well , was supposed to fast for three days. The first day was when I saw over ripe plantain and custard as breakfast. Na so I shift my fasting from 5 am to 9am. 4hrs.

When you fast, you supposed to lock yourself up. Because you can be a distraction to your self and others .

Hahahhahha. ..U go fear fasting na...Hahahhahha

Hehehehe

It's the way you said it that's even making me laugh

Chillisauce:


Why? Cos I eat in my dream ?. It's very normal.

I remember those days I still go to church very well , was supposed to fast for three days. The first day was when I saw over ripe plantain and custard as breakfast. Na so I shift my fasting from 5 am to 9am. 4hrs.

When you fast, you supposed to lock yourself up. Because you can be a distraction to your self and others .

Chillisauce,r u ever serious?

Abeg @op, dont mind her.
She is our resident troll

dunwun:


I can imagine, you feel pained!

Don't get yourself worked up. dont break your fast either. keep calm and quiet for awhile and when she's calm too, explain the situation again.

it's beyond the prayer list, she just thinks she's lost priority in your heart, (which might be true) and that is the issue you need to address not just with words but actions!

A few questions - do you normally pray together, do you pray for her and is she aware of that? has love grown cold between you too, have you began to take one another for granted? imagine you had to write that list before you were married, would her name have come up first?

Omg, I love the way u put it. U re wise.
As for the op, am a woman and we love to know that we re paramount in our spouses heart. I d have also flared up but witout the invectives. But that action would have put a dent on my trust for u. How would u feel if u saw a list for those dat would be millionaires this year and ur name comes out 3rd or more in ur wife s list? Methinks ur holding onto dis issue thus speaks volumes of lost affection,pls go back to the drawing board of marriage.