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Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? - Family - Nairaland

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Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by BreezyRita(f): 4:25pm On Feb 05, 2015

In most parts of the East, having a child oitside wedlock is frowned on. The young girl is deemed wayward.
She lives with this stigma. And it becomes difficult for her to get a husband. Who wants a certified "second hand" wife?? Most suitors, on finding out she's had a child, either deserts her on his own or us pressurized by family members to do so.
Now, she realizes time is not on her side and decides to do something.

My question: Should a young woman who's had a child outside wedlock, lie to her suitor about it. Lying could be by not saying anything about it to him. I know what'll happen if he finds out but I need your opinions here.
.
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by ammyluv2002(f): 4:38pm On Feb 05, 2015
NO! No single mum should ever lie to her suitor about that, its better you tell him the truth and if he wants to stay then fine! Love covers all 'sin' and being a single mum doesn't change anyone's personality. Having a child is a thing of joy not that i encourage having a child outside wedlock but it has happened so embrace the child and love him/her dearly. The child should come first when choosing a life partner, look for a man who's even willing to accept the child as your own and not as an outcast

5 Likes

Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by freecocoa(f): 4:43pm On Feb 05, 2015
You should tell your man you have a child, wouldn't it be best he accepts you and all you are?
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by Bisjosh(f): 4:47pm On Feb 05, 2015
IT ACTUALLY PROVES THAT YOU ARE FERTILE grin grin grin wink

2 Likes

Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by BreezyRita(f): 4:47pm On Feb 05, 2015
freecocoa:
You should tell your man you have a child, wouldn't it be best he accepts you and all you are?

Yes. But when it seems like no one is willing to accept you? What happens?
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by BreezyRita(f): 4:48pm On Feb 05, 2015
Bisjosh:
IT ACTUALLY PROVES THAT YOU ARE FERTILE grin grin grin wink
cheesy cheesy
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by freecocoa(f): 4:53pm On Feb 05, 2015
BreezyRita:


Yes. But when it seems like no one is willing to accept you? What happens?
Those who don't accept you aren't made for you, you shouldn't be desperate about it.

It shouldn't be just about getting married, who you are going to marry is very important, what do you think would happen after getting married and your hubby finds out and rejects you then? A man who loves you whole heatedly will come.
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by soulglo: 4:54pm On Feb 05, 2015
BreezyRita:

In most parts of the East, having a child oitside wedlock is frowned on. The young girl is deemed wayward.
She lives with this stigma. And it becomes difficult for her to get a husband. Who wants a certified "second hand" wife?? Most suitors, on finding out she's had a child, either deserts her on his own or us pressurized by family members to do so.
Now, she realizes time is not on her side and decides to do something.

My question: Should a young woman who's had a child outside wedlock, lie to her suitor about it. Lying could be by not saying anything about it to him. I know what'll happen if he finds out but I need your opinions here.
.

A woman who would deny her child should not get respect from anyone.

5 Likes

Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by ammyluv2002(f): 4:55pm On Feb 05, 2015
BreezyRita:


Yes. But when it seems like no one is willing to accept you? What happens?
Wait for that someone who will and prayerfully ask God to send him to you
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by elantraceey(f): 4:58pm On Feb 05, 2015
ammyluv2002:
Wait for that someone who will


What if the person never comes?
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by ammyluv2002(f): 5:01pm On Feb 05, 2015
elantraceey:



What if the person never comes?
Nne, there's nothing God cannot do! There are cases of single mums that got married to great guys, do they have 2 heads? God's grace

1 Like

Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by freecocoa(f): 5:05pm On Feb 05, 2015
elantraceey:



What if the person never comes?
Why think so? Even if they don't come, you live your life and love yourself.

You are never going to win by denying your child.

1 Like

Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by Nobody: 5:07pm On Feb 05, 2015
elantraceey:



What if the person never comes?
So she should lie about it?

P.S: any relationship/marriage founded on lies will definitely crumble sooner or later
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by ammyluv2002(f): 5:08pm On Feb 05, 2015
AgapeCharis:
So she should lie about it?

P.S: any relationship/marriage founded on lies will definitely crumble sooner or later
Exactly!
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by ammyluv2002(f): 5:09pm On Feb 05, 2015
soulglo:


A woman who would deny her child should not get respect from anyone.
Thank you
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by cococandy(f): 5:10pm On Feb 05, 2015
And what happens to the child?
She will be abandoned for the sake of a man who could still mess up tomorrow?
No pls.
Never deny your child.

5 Likes

Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by Nobody: 5:11pm On Feb 05, 2015
ammyluv2002:
Exactly!
ur head dey there jare smiley
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by Nobody: 5:15pm On Feb 05, 2015
cococandy:
And what happens to the child?
She will be abandoned for the sake of a man who could still mess up tomorrow?
No pls.
Never deny your child.
I can see your preference wink

1 Like

Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by cococandy(f): 5:16pm On Feb 05, 2015
AgapeCharis:
I can see your preference wink
lol I guess. Always loved baby girls sha. cheesy
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by elantraceey(f): 5:19pm On Feb 05, 2015
AgapeCharis:
So she should lie about it?

P.S: any relationship/marriage founded on lies will definitely crumble sooner or later

lool , i never met she should lie about it , i only asked the question based on her statement .


By the way if she even lies for how long is she going to keep up with it ? At the end the truth will surface and she'll be the one at the losing end. All in all save yourself the stress and keep yourself till marriage simple.
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by Nobody: 5:20pm On Feb 05, 2015
cococandy:
lol I guess. Always loved baby girls sha. cheesy
I can see. May God bless you with 7 of them. smiley
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by cococandy(f): 5:21pm On Feb 05, 2015
AgapeCharis:
I can see. May God bless you with 7 of them. smiley
2 is enough thank you. I give you back the remaining 5 wink
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by Nobody: 5:23pm On Feb 05, 2015
elantraceey:


lool , i never met she should lie about it , i only asked the question based on her statement .


By the way if she even lies for how long is she going to keep up with it ? At the end the truth will surface and she'll be the one at the losing end. All in all save yourself the stress and keep yourself till marriage simple.
Now u'r talking




but what if she couldn't keep herself till marriage? tongue
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by Nobody: 5:24pm On Feb 05, 2015
cococandy:
2 is enough thank you. I give you back the remaining 5 wink
Come on!!! 7 is a number of perfection. You should wholeheartedly embrace it. wink
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by elantraceey(f): 5:25pm On Feb 05, 2015
ammyluv2002:
Nne, there's nothing God cannot do! There are cases of single mums that got married to great guys, do they have 2 heads? God's grace

Not everyone is that lucky , there's this family friend of mine who had a child out of wedlock now her child is a graduate but she's yet to get married. She's enjoying her life tho.
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by elantraceey(f): 5:28pm On Feb 05, 2015
AgapeCharis:
Now u'r talking




but what if she couldn't keep herself till marriage? tongue


Lol , a male friend once told me it's only foolish girls that gets pregnant out of wedlock this days except those that did it intentionally , don't know if he's correct though.
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by Nobody: 5:28pm On Feb 05, 2015
elantraceey:


Not everyone is that lucky , there's this family friend of mine who had a child out of wedlock now her child is a graduate but she's yet to get married. She's enjoying her life tho.
Maybe she chose to remain single
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by Nobody: 5:28pm On Feb 05, 2015
I would not keep MY CHILD secret. A mother should be proud of her child.

I can understand that it is sometimes difficult for women in this part of the world to live with the stigma and the consequences but to keep your child secret won't solve your problems.

Be PROUD of your child and cherish motherhood.
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by elantraceey(f): 5:30pm On Feb 05, 2015
AgapeCharis:
Maybe she chose to remain single


Na she didn't , she dated after having her child but none led to marriage then i guess she gave up.
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by cococandy(f): 5:30pm On Feb 05, 2015
AgapeCharis:
Come on!!! 7 is a number of perfection. You should wholeheartedly embrace it. wink
no thanks
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by bennyrazz: 5:38pm On Feb 05, 2015
I don't understand why a woman should have a child outside wedlock but I can understand her having a child before wedlock. Keeping or lieing about your own child before the man you intend to marry is bad. You should let him know you have a child and if he loves you, he will go ahead. If he doesn't, he will withdraw. But going outside marriage to have a child for someone other than your husband is quite insane, wicked and selfish. What type of infidelity or adultery is that?
Re: Should A Woman Lie About Having A Child Outside Wedlock?? by Nobody: 5:39pm On Feb 05, 2015
elantraceey:



Lol , a male friend once told me it's only foolish girls that gets pregnant out of wedlock this days except those that did it intentionally , don't know if he's correct though.
He is not correct

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