babyosisi:



Many many years ago I heard someone say you teach people how to treat you and I believe that wholeheartedly.
The greatest is love,right?
Now what does the Bible say about love?
It says love your neighbor as you love yourself
This means the love for yourself is already a settled matter so you are being enjoined to love your neighbor
Jesus in that teaching was telling us to love our neighbors in the same manner that we love ourselves
How can you then show love if you don't love yourself?
There has to be a line no one can cross with you and that is in loving yourself
That should be a no go area
Come rain or shine you should fight every and anything that wants you to see yourself as less than
You are not less than anyone out there

I am dark skinned too,my headless picture is in my profile
Being dark skinned is not your issue
The issue is that someone else has devalued you in his eyes and you have allowed it to define you and now you detest who you are and think that making yourself like someone else will make you acceptable.
I am glad you are on this thread,perhaps the whole thread was meant for you.

You should not give anyone the right to make you see you as a nobody
Read that efe's post especially and some others written here,over and over and over again
Let it sink deep within your soul
You are a beautiful woman
never ever let anyone convince you otherwise

Thanks so much God bless. Getting relieved of my chest pain gradually. Couldn't sleep yesterday night, that was when I stumbled upon ur thread.
God bless you all

IF. This could also be part of the reason he's treating you anyhow. You have to be strong, get something doing to occupy ur self, dress sexy for yourself, ignore him, stop monitoring or asking questions nd see what happens over time. Don't even ask him for money to buy anything for yourself. Give him golden silence.

Shiningmama:


My parents are late. My siblings are still struggling to survive. Hmmmmmm

cytochromeC:
My issue is related to te3Amo's case. I have been in a relationship for over 3years with a VERY good man. We stay in different states and we get to see each other at least once in 3months. In the first 2years, i was convinced i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but right now, im battling with the chemistry. I do not look forward to kissing him any more. I always find an excuse for him to take his hands off me anytime i go visiting because it feels like a stranger's hands . This odd feelings started like a year ago and i have tried all i can to make things return to how they used to when i was crazy about him. We are very good friends and he has been extremely good to me, but the physical attraction isnt there for me anymore. I told him the last time i saw him and the first question he asked was "do you still love me" to which i could not genuinely answer. I was confused because i sincerely do not know what is wrong.. I am not extremely excited as a lover, about his calls, chats and visits anymore and it hurts me.

I do not see myself with any other man because i dont think there can be anyone out there who possesses all the attributes he has. At the same time, i do not want to be with someone i see as a brother, someone i do not have romantic feelings towards. I also dont want him to end up with someone who will be forcing herself to kiss and have sex with in marriage. He deserves better.

We talk about our future but it scares me..this future might be in a year from now.

how can i help my situation ? How important is chemistry in marriage? Can it be worked on without being forced? I am not ready to give up but i need advice.

I would appreciate views on this as this is an issue bothering me.

thanks.

I will answer later
Efe,mutter and co please carry on

Ujujoan:


I dont think you want a solution. You want to be pitied and handed tissues. Well, cry me a river!

So so annoying

Jesus Christtttt!
I am very sorry ma if I am annoying you. Pls accept my apology. Whaat will sympathy do to me? Pls I am just pouring my mind out. Once again I am very sorry madam

Shiningmama:


I can't stop crying after gooing through your post. I had to give myself time to reply so that I could see what I will be typing, even at that I can't see properly pls pardon my comment.
When I saw your comment in the morning, my mind tells me you have the drugs to my "sickness" fortunately, you didn't disappoint me. God blss you real good.
My self esteem is very very low to the point I look at the pix of some of these ladies and noticed that they are very fair in complexion and I am dark. I decided to buy cream to start bleaching my skin maybe it will work. As it is, I won't use it . My weight is ok because my stature is almost the same with two of these ladies which I have concrete proof that he is dating. I even saw one life and direct because she attended my son's naming. She is older than me which is very obvious. Just that she is very fair. We even took pictures together . Pls pardon my comment oo I can't see what I am tyyong oo

It is well, my sister.

But you really have to stop doing this to yourself. Stop looking at their pictures. Stop going through his phone. Set your priorities straight and focus on making yourself a better person (for you) and for your kids.

See, let me ask you this: do you think the women whom you think look better than you, will still look the way they are, if they went through half of what you've had to bear? No.

So this helps to put things in perspective.

Shiningmama:


Thanks so much God bless. Getting relieved of my chest pain gradually. Couldn't sleep yesterday night, that was when I stumbled upon ur thread.
God bless you all

Good.

Try to take things easy and start implementing the advice already given to you.

babyosisi:


I will answer later
Efe,mutter and co please carry on

Okay thanks, i'll be waiting

@all, thank you so much for your kind comments - I do appreciate them all.

It's just that when I read Shiningmama's post, it really touched me. It's rare these days to find genuine posts in the midst of so many fake threads, but I could feel the sincerity in her post.

Shiningmama, never stop striving for the best. You deserve it and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Keep strong and keep going, sister.

babyosisi:


I will answer later
Efe,mutter and co please carry on

My dear, I'm starting to see double and triple here. Methinks I'll call it a night for now. Tomorrow is the start of another busy week.

Love my nland ladies. Una goodnight o!

MrsOJ:

Hello dear pls leave that marriage, therez nothing left for you therer cos frankly ur hubby aint changing today, tomorrow or next. Pls save your life now the opportunity is staring you in the face, remember this is your second chance to be brave and take that bold step. U might not have it again( God Forbid) Wish you the best

I love this thread, I know it's for wives and have been holding myself on this matter, honestly I can't hold any longer especially when it comes to divorce. Speaking from personal experience I will tell you that only a selfish woman or man walks out of a marriage when children or a child already exists, it will take a miracle for that child to be normal. Not ignoring the fact that there is a marital challenge here but where children are part of the equation divorce shouldn't even be thought of. Should she die in the marriage? Hell no, this is where her survival skills should kick in because if u walk out of the marriage you are indirectly teaching your children that divorce is the only solution and easiest way out of any serious marital issue.

Only a man will tell you the best way to handle another man cos we understand how most of us are wired, I won't ask a man for advice if I have issues with my wife, rather i would go to a matured woman with no less than 20 years experience as a wife. Here is my candid advice from a masculine perspective. You still have something left in that marriage, your daughter, on how to deal with ur husband I will come to that. Right now focus on training and raising ur child in a compete family setting that's you and ur husband, do everything ur supposed to do for him as a wife but no sex or emotions attached (you are doing this to give ur child the adequate environment to grow in. Stay away from those silly excuses ur husband uses to hit you, always remind yourself that you are in this for your child, not you, not him, that child must have a normal life cos she is innocent so you don't rob her of that. I agree with every other advice u have been given but divorce? HELL NO. Will address how to deal with your husband later but for now forget walking out, most of these wonderful ladies here grew up in compete homes and know nothing about the psychological effect of not growing up with single parents, Like I said, Good job to Op and others giving counsels but please where kids are involved never talk of divorce cos u got no idea (no disrespect intended, good job, much love from here).

FOREXMARTS:


I love this thread, I know it's for wives and have been holding myself on this matter, honestly I can't hold any longer especially when it comes to divorce. Speaking from personal experience I will tell you that only a selfish woman or man walks out of a marriage when children or a child already exists, it will take a miracle for that child to be normal. Not ignoring the fact that there is a marital challenge here but where children are part of the equation divorce shouldn't even be thought of. Should she die in the marriage? Hell no, this is where her survival skills should kick in because if u walk out of the marriage you are indirectly teaching your children that divorce is the only solution and easiest way out of any serious marital issue.

Only a man will tell you the best way to handle another man cos we understand how most of us are wired, I won't ask a man for advice if I have issues with my wife, rather i would go to a matured woman with no less than 20 years experience as a wife. Here is my candid advice from a masculine perspective. You still have something left in that marriage, your daughter, on how to deal with ur husband I will come to that. Right now focus on training and raising ur child in a compete family setting that's you and ur husband, do everything ur supposed to do for him as a wife but no sex or emotions attached (you are doing this to give ur child the adequate environment to grow in. Stay away from those silly excuses ur husband uses to hit you, always remind yourself that you are in this for your child, not you, not him, that child must have a normal life cos she is innocent so you don't rob her of that. I agree with every other advice u have been given but divorce? HELL NO. Will address how to deal with your husband later but for now forget walking out, most of these wonderful ladies here grew up in compete homes and know nothing about the psychological effect of not growing up with single parents, Like I said, Good job to Op and others giving counsels but please where kids are involved never talk of divorce cos u got no idea (no disrespect intended, good job, much love from here).

For crying out loud!

What are you saying?

Have sex without emotions? Go through life existing but not living? Sit tight in your marriage even if domestic violence is involved?

And you wonder why her self-esteem is at an all time low? It's easy for you to give out this sort of advice because you aren't at the receiving end of being pummelled. Please, let's be very mindful of the sort of advice we give out to others, knowing fully well that if the shoe was on the other foot, it won't be tolerated.

Would you advice your daughter to stay in a relationship that's got domestic violence? You think it's normal for a woman to have her self-worth torn to shreds to the point where she's afraid of her own shadow and has to tip-toe on eggshells around her man for fear of upsetting him? And what sort of environment is this to bring up a child? If you go though her thread created a little over a year ago, you'll see the comment she made about confiding in an elder male member of his family and the crappy advice given to her. Not only did this "elder" tell her that she should be happy he hasn't brought any of his mistresses to his matrimonial home and to count herself lucky for him letting her live under his roof, and something about his father did much worse to his mother. Now can you see the vicious cycle?

No one is saying that divorce is the only / easiest solution, but the fact is: where lives are at risk, then it should not be ruled out. That aside, assuming you're a Christian, what does your bible say about adultery? Would you even give this advice of yours to a man, if his wife was the one playing the field and openly, in his face too?

Guy, Pls.

EfemenaXY:


For crying out loud!

What are you saying?

Have sex without emotions? Go through life existing but not living? Sit tight in your marriage even if domestic violence is involved?

And you wonder why her self-esteem is at an all time low? It's easy for you to give out this sort of advice because you aren't at the receiving end of being pummelled. Please, let's be very mindful of the sort of advice we give out to others, knowing fully well that if the shoe was on the other foot, it won't be tolerated.

Would you advice your daughter to stay in a relationship that's got domestic violence? You think it's normal for a woman to have her self-worth torn to shreds to the point where she's afraid of her own shadow and has to tip-toe on eggshells around her man for fear of upsetting him? And what sort of environment is this to bring up a child? If you go though her thread created a little over a year ago, you'll see the comment she made about confiding in an elder male member of his family and the crappy advice given to her. Not only did this "elder" tell her that she should count herself lucky for him letting her live under his roof, but that his father did much worse to his mother. Now can you see the vicious cycle?

Guy, Pls.

I think u misunderstood me. All i said is no sex (like she is already doing now) no emotions attached instead she should focus on the sacrifice of ensuring her grows up like every normal child. I like to see this as an open discussion and not an e-quarrel oh (smiles). I am simply opposing divorce, that should be a last resort.

Modified: I think I need to read her thread. Could u post a link please? Thank you. If no child is involved i would personally scream divorce, just trying to be sure all available options are exhausted. Finally my comments were not to mess the good thing yall got going on here, keep the positive energy flowing sister.(smiles)

EfemenaXY:


For crying out loud!

What are you saying?

Have sex without emotions? Go through life existing but not living? Sit tight in your marriage even if domestic violence is involved?

And you wonder why her self-esteem is at an all time low? It's easy for you to give out this sort of advice because you aren't at the receiving end of being pummelled. Please, let's be very mindful of the sort of advice we give out to others, knowing fully well that if the shoe was on the other foot, it won't be tolerated.

Would you advice your daughter to stay in a relationship that's got domestic violence? You think it's normal for a woman to have her self-worth torn to shreds to the point where she's afraid of her own shadow and has to tip-toe on eggshells around her man for fear of upsetting him? And what sort of environment is this to bring up a child? If you go though her thread created a little over a year ago, you'll see the comment she made about confiding in an elder male member of his family and the crappy advice given to her. Not only did this "elder" tell her that she should be happy he hasn't brought any of his mistresses to his matrimonial home and to count herself lucky for him letting her live under his roof, and something about his father did much worse to his mother. Now can you see the vicious cycle?

No one is saying that divorce is the only / easiest solution, but the fact is: where lives are at risk, then it should not be ruled out. That aside, assuming you're a Christian, what does your bible say about adultery? Would you even give this advice of yours to a man, if his wife was the one playing the field and openly, in his face too?

Guy, Pls.

He actually said No sex, No emotions

FOREXMARTS:


I think u misunderstood me. All i said is no sex (like she is already doing now) no emotions attached instead she should focus on the sacrifice of ensuring her grows up like every normal child. I like to see this as an open discussion and not an e-quarrel oh (smiles). I am simply opposing divorce, that should be a last resort.

And this sacrifice you mention - is just her cross to bear, abi? Purely the woman's responsibility?

What part does the man have in bringing up his kids in the right path? Or is it hands-off for him? Because right now, he's setting a terrible example for his kids and they can see how much disrespect he dumps on her head, and how much pain she's in. Her little girl's taken to consoling mummy and wiping off the tears from her face.

Tell me, is this what a child so young should be seeing? I hope you know children are very astute and can see, process, and store information about what's happening around them?

FOREXMARTS:


I love this thread, I know it's for wives and have been holding myself on this matter, honestly I can't hold any longer especially when it comes to divorce. Speaking from personal experience I will tell you that only a selfish woman or man walks out of a marriage when children or a child already exists, it will take a miracle for that child to be normal. Not ignoring the fact that there is a marital challenge here but where children are part of the equation divorce shouldn't even be thought of. Should she die in the marriage? Hell no, this is where her survival skills should kick in because if u walk out of the marriage you are indirectly teaching your children that divorce is the only solution and easiest way out of any serious marital issue.

Only a man will tell you the best way to handle another man cos we understand how most of us are wired, I won't ask a man for advice if I have issues with my wife, rather i would go to a matured woman with no less than 20 years experience as a wife. Here is my candid advice from a masculine perspective. You still have something left in that marriage, your daughter, on how to deal with ur husband I will come to that. Right now focus on training and raising ur child in a compete family setting that's you and ur husband, do everything ur supposed to do for him as a wife but no sex or emotions attached (you are doing this to give ur child the adequate environment to grow in. Stay away from those silly excuses ur husband uses to hit you, always remind yourself that you are in this for your child, not you, not him, that child must have a normal life cos she is innocent so you don't rob her of that. I agree with every other advice u have been given but divorce? HELL NO. Will address how to deal with your husband later but for now forget walking out, most of these wonderful ladies here grew up in compete homes and know nothing about the psychological effect of not growing up with single parents, Like I said, Good job to Op and others giving counsels but please where kids are involved never talk of divorce cos u got no idea (no disrespect intended, good job, much love from here).

You a have a point but we can only give advice to her is left for her to make the choice. Sometimes we need to look beyond the kids and think more on the life of the woman involved cos even the children needs her alive. I pray the multiple girlfriends of the said husband doesn't come for her life so as to take her place in the man's house.

MrsOJ:

He actually said No sex, No emotions

Okay.

But it's still awful.

No sex for her (while he gets his fill on the outside) and no emotions (the poor lady was already contemplating ending it all). What sort of one-sided, cold-hearted, nasty advice is this?

Gawd! I'm so angry.

is this thread only for intended wivessad...I needed advice oh..nevertheless,I will state my problem noe and I hope somebody will help me out............ I am in a relationship with a certain girl.a no sex relationship to be precised.this is because we agreed to date even without having sex.some weeks ago she asked for it,even though I didn't react badly just to save her pride,but I have lost the zeal to continue with the relationship.although her excuse was that she loves me and wanted to give me all that she has even her virginity..I have lost interest in her,do I continue or just break up at once??please I really need answers.

EfemenaXY:


Okay.

But it's still awful.

No sex for her (while he gets his fill on the outside) and no emotions (the poor lady was already contemplating ending it all). What sort of one-sided, cold-hearted, nasty advice is this?

Gawd! I'm so angry.

Very awful, i really feel for her. She must be drained emotionally.

EfemenaXY:


And this sacrifice you mention - is just her cross to bear, abi? Purely the woman's responsibility?

What part does the man have in bringing up his kids in the right path? Or is it hands-off for him? Because right now, he's setting a terrible example for his kids and they can see how much disrespect he dumps on her head, and how much pain she's in. Her little girl's taken to consoling mummy and wiping off the tears from her face.

Tell me, is this what a child so young should be seeing? I hope you know children are very astute and can see, process, and store information about what's happening around them?

No it's not what a child should be seeing, if horses can be broken then every man can be broken, that's why i said i will come to how to deal with the husband later, the truth is i need to know his full character profile before i can suggest on what and what she could do, i could get that by reading her thread, her posting it here if she is comfortable or if she isn't we could do a whatsapp chat. I am not in anyway in support of the man, if you read me well my focus is on managing the situation and still giving the child a normal life. Thank you.

Shiningmama:
Honestly, life is so cruel to people like me. If not for these lovely kids I would have speak to m legs. But I can't Leave them and he won't allow me to go with them. Atimes when I am crying, my daughter will be wiping my tears with her hand telling sorry

Dear, pls pls and pls don't let your children see you cry ever again talkess of them wiping your tears. This picture of you crying might not leave their memory for years to come and might affect them negatively. God forbid. Children don't forget things like this easily.

Pls hold yourself and always be cheerful whenever they are around. By now, you should have stopped crying but whatever it is, pls don't cry in their presence ever again. God bless.

FOREXMARTS:


No it's not what a child should be seeing, if horses can be broken then every man can be broken, that's why i said i will come to how to deal with the husband later, the truth is i need to know his full character profile before i can suggest on what and what she could do, i could get that by reading her thread, her posting it here if she is comfortable or if she isn't we could do a whatsapp chat. I am not in anyway in support of the man, if you read me well my focus is on managing the situation and still giving the child a normal life. Thank you.

Okay then.

Re the bolded: now this, I would like to see.

I'm loving this thread.











The only issue I have with the thread is that.. It looks too pinkish

EfemenaXY:


Okay then.

Re the bolded: now this, I would like to see.

I have made some requests, did u see em? In my first and last post. I believe the husband is playing mind games and she needs to beat him at his own hand fair and square in such a way that he won't mess with a woman in his next life.

Later today,i went through many rants about valentines in stella blog but what caught my attention is the comments of women....

Thank God for love, loving my self and my baby!
Wish I nevr married a wicked, and a selfish man, a dream killer,
I promise myself that I wount cry over the wolf again, I wount waste my time having sleepless nights over a heart breaker, a lair,
I curse 28 dec 2011, I curse the day I met you, I curse the 12 april 2011, the day I agreed to put my self in bondage,kill my career, waste my time, (yes cos marrying for is the worst mistake a living can make) you are such a disappointment! A Demon,
I wish I can switch fatherhood, would have had my baby a father who deserves her, a father who will no leave her homeless, a father who will pay her bills, show her love, pay her school fees, teach her what a dad should teach his first child, a father that will love, cherish and spend time with his first legitimate adorable daughter, a father who will come back and show the daughter the fatherly love she desires!
A father who will not break the mothers heart, and they all grow aas a little happy family, a father who will say some prayers for the daughter,and make her smile,a father who the daughter will always run to when scolded by the mother, a father who will not leave all the work or the mummy alone to do, a father that will not betray her mummy, a father that will not leave her mumy, depressed, frustrated, sad and bitter! a father who will always help her mum out even with taking some decisions at home. A father who will no leave his wife so broken, and doest starve mummy, a father who will no put mummy through pain of raising her alone.
I wish I could do so many things right now, wish I could turn back the hands of time, wish I never meant you, wish I never showed up for the wedding,

All I wanted Wass love,a peaceful, successful, christian home! Not your lies and pretends, im done crying, I pray I find a place to settle with my baby asap! Then, with a bitter heart, I will lay a course aon you! That you will live with, for all you have caused me, I just don't wish to let you go unpunished,
Thank you God for the wonderful gift of an angel you gave me as a child, love you my priceless jewel till a day after eternity! Thanks for loving me as a your mumy and best friend! Will have u as my bby over ans over agAin!
To those that have vals(smiles) love is a very beautiful tin, enjoy it and have fun

Funny though, but the bitter truth is I've never celebrated valentine...as in - gifts from boo or an outing to a beautiful place. Yes I'm married but going towards seperating. It has never worked out for us! After serious thoughts earlier in the week I was like: If I see God and he asks me to choose from a boo and a job, which would I choose...I will choose a job and even a business (greedy me) to add to it!
I feel sooo relaxed and happier since the past 6 months I've been away from my supposed hubby and as usual, I'm celebrating today at home with my kids. I only pray God completes my happiness with a job.

It is well dear. My own husband left the girls and I at home with the excuse that he is going to hang out with his guys.
If I object, he will say I nag too much.
To imagine we just made up after months of separation. Plus I am 6months preg. Took in unknowingly and was still taking pills for three months before I realised I am pregnant.

I am 'married'
Thought I was married to the love of my life but found out he only got married because he wanted to.
Loneliness is my companion. We don't talk or anything.
Sometimes I pray for death.
I've begged for a divorce.
I wonder what I ever did to God to make new be in such marriage.
So valentines alone, just like Christmas, newyear, birthday and anniversary.
Just another day to cry, question God and pray for death. .

The reason i posted this is to evaluate our lives,yes we might think we are the only one in this situation or it is rosy for some.My question is,must the circle continues?is there an end to this?when will a nigerian woman know when it is enough!

I got so depressed and tearful at some of the comments and let me thinking....
If only our society was fair to women,if only....

FOREXMARTS:

I have made some requests, did u see em? In my first and last post. I believe the husband is playing mind games and she needs to beat him at his own hand fair and square in such a way that he won't mess with a woman in his next life.

Requests? Not sure.

I know you mentioned something about sending her wastapp messages. I can tell you here and now that, that isn't a good idea and you'll only get her into trouble. You don't need a crystal ball to see that her husband would most likely jump to the wrong conclusion(s) if he finds out that a strange male is communicating with his wife via social media. I suggest you give your advice here, out in the open as a lot of other readers on here may learn a thing or two from you.

As per her thread, simply click on her profile and you'll see the one and only thread she created way back in 2013. Read it. It should more than answer many of the questions you're asking here.

watchman111:
is this thread only for intended wivessad...I needed advice oh..nevertheless,I will state my problem noe and I hope somebody will help me out............ I am in a relationship with a certain girl.a no sex relationship to be precised.this is because we agreed to date even without having sex.some weeks ago she asked for it,even though I didn't react badly just to save her pride,but I have lost the zeal to continue with the relationship.although her excuse was that she loves me and wanted to give me all that she has even her virginity..I have lost interest in her,do I continue or just break up at once??please I really need answers.

your problem is that of the average naija man who automatically looses interest if a girl initiates a relationship or sex. You need to learn to rise above the old black standard if you want to do well with the today/modern woman. Ok everything would have been alright but for just an harmless comment...i can only imagine the damage your mind did when she added she is not a virgin after the first blow of initiating sex. Oga you better take her for her words especially if you are ok with her character which is most important. Continue with her and value her honesty, like she said it might be she is scared of you getting it elsewhere knowing how men like it and thus did for love. If you choose to dump girls for reasons like this, you might end up with a real LovePeddler so that you can spend the rest of your life judging. Even if you are a virgin, you have no guarantee that the next will be one or that she might not be worse or a classic LovePeddler who will be wise from the failure of your ex and keep mute seeing that you prefared ''old boys rules'' over honesty and other virtues. Continue with her and tell or correct her with love anytime she go wrong instead of acting cool then stabing later. I know you wont do it, but do you think it is enough for her to feel the way you do if you make the mistake of saying what she said because your friend told you she might be getting it elsewhere or that her reason for abstinance is due to a poor sex drive or to show you love her?

A broken home is not only one where the parents are divorced.
Some married men and women still operate broken Homes.
And it affects the kids too as obviously shown in the attitude of the man.
It is even worse than single parenthood because the kids see violence and infidelity as normal in their formative years.

EfemenaXY:


Requests? Not sure.

I know you mentioned something about sending her wastapp messages. I can tell you here and now that, that isn't a good idea and you'll only get her into trouble. You don't need a crystal ball to see that her husband would most likely jump to the wrong conclusion(s) if he finds out that a strange male is communicating with his wife via social media. I suggest you give your advice here, out in the open as a lot of other readers on here may learn a thing or two from you.

As per her thread, simply click on her profile and you'll see the one and only thread she created way back in 2013. Read it. It should more than answer many of the questions you're asking here.

I will prefer her thread, notice that's the first thing i asked for in my first post when I modified it, the whatsapp was the last option if she won't be comfortable with divulging her husband's character in public oh lol. Thanks for directing me to her thread, will read it up tomorrow and see what i can come up with, I hope it will be useful at the end.

cococandy:
A broken home is not only one where the parents are divorced.
Some married men and women still operate broken Homes.
And it affects the kids too as obviously shown in the attitude of the man.
It is even worse than single parenthood because the kids see violence and infidelity as normal in their formative years.

I agree with you on that but don't you think it's better for a child to grow up knowing which of the two was the bad parent than growing up and hearing from mum "your father was this, that..." And when she is with the father she hears "your mother was this and that", this leaves the child utterly confused and in a dilemma. But if the father is abusive and in the midst of it all the mother is trading the child and advising them or the child not to thread the part the father has and letting em know why she still decided to stay in the marriage they will grow up to know better, i wish and hope I won't be misunderstood, unless the situation can't be managed, if out can't then she can walk out, some men are animals. Will need to read her thread.

People on this forum tend to underestimate children in situations such as these. In every case a child can deduce which parent is the cause of most of the misery at home. A house with both parents is not always the healthiest option, that's the truth

cococandy:
A broken home is not only one where the parents are divorced.
Some married men and women still operate broken Homes.
And it affects the kids too as obviously shown in the attitude of the man.
It is even worse than single parenthood because the kids see violence and infidelity as normal in their formative years.

Thank you!

Flytefalls:
People on this forum tend to underestimate children in situations such as these. In every case a child can deduce which parent is the cause of most of the misery at home. A house with both parents is not always the healthiest option, that's the truth

Okay okay okay, I know when to back down at least. Seems all the ladies are of same opinion (smiles). Will go back to my sit and enjoy the thread. Good job all the same.

Divorced parents don't need to bad-mouth each other. All the kid/s needs to know is that it wasn't working out.

There's no upside to raising kids in a violent marriage compared to a single parent home.
It is worse. Many have died at the hands of their husbands or wives as we read in the news all the time.
And I know two women liked by their husbands.

A violent marriage is worse than a divorce by far.

FOREXMARTS:


I agree with you on that but don't you think it's better for a child to grow up knowing which of the two was the bad parent than growing up and hearing from mum "your father was this, that..." And when she is with the father she hears "your mother was this and that", this leaves the child utterly confused and in a dilemma. But if the father is abusive and in the midst of it all the mother is trading the child and advising them or the child not to thread the part the father has and letting em know why she still decided to stay in the marriage they will grow up to know better, i wish and hope I won't be misunderstood, unless the situation can't be managed, if out can't then she can walk out, some men are animals. Will need to read her thread.

FOREXMARTS:


Okay okay okay, I know when to back down at least. Seems all the ladies are of same opinion (smiles). Will go back to my sit and enjoy the thread. Good job all the same.

I'm still keen on hearing your advice on what she can do to curtail her man's wandering eyes.