> Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
>mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color
>of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child
>thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing
>black?"
> ~~~~~~~~~
>
>A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she
>could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed,
>"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me
>be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and
>fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up,
>brushed herself off, and started running again! in. As she ran she once
>again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late, But
>please don't shove me either!"
>~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The
>first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he
>calls it a poem, they give him $50. The second boy says, "That's
>nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a
>song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My
>Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and
>it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
>~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no
>male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
>service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I
>don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."
>~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you
>had to arrest your own mother?" He answered "Call for backup."
>~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
>with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby
>sitter."
>~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
>five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
>father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches
>us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one
>little boy answered, Thou shall not kill."
>~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
>including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they
>told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the
>week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she
>said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have
>pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
>~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong
>preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about
>all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa
>Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.

haha!, oh my gawd

I find the first, fifth, sixth and seventh ones very funny.

nice jokes