coogar:


if she's working & she intends to use her own money to buy a car, the hubby shouldn't stop her. it's her money & that's her personal choice as long as buying the car will not put a dent on her other responsibilities.

The issue is that the money she wants to use will cause strain on the family. Also the man feels if she acquires this she will still go on to ask for more things and it will become a habit.

its not about 2 TVs for some women.
i can categorically tell you this from experience. some women just want your attention for their own selfish interests.

i was in the living room, she said she wants to watch her show on a bigger TV. i went to the bedroom to continue watching my game....5 mins later, she came there to say she actually prefers the bedroom TV.

i went back to the living room & she came there again to say can't i see she's bored and she would rather talk? then came the usual question - choose between me or football to which i quietly told her to fück off, nicely.

There are two Tvs in their house. One in the parlour and one in the room. The one in the parlour is connected to dstv which is where the mam wanted to watch his program. He says it was live news not football.

alutacontinua:
Why is everybody always coming to you for advice?
you be chief advisor?

God knows once I see 'slap her once', my brain just automatically shuts down. So, no comments

You'll be surprised the things I see

A prophet is never recognised in his own country

There is no knowing where an argument may end when the devil is allowed into the home.
Thats why its crucial to keep it out in the first instance

How can a TV show cause all this?
A slap
A home in turmoil

The woman is still angry, scared, hurt and in shock. She learnt something new about her husband that she didnt know that she could ever experince. A slap!

Its good to put your foot down and refuse to accept certain things, however one should know where to draw the line or you end up getting the opposite result

@ 5minsmadness pls talk to them both as a couple and individually. Basically the song you should be singing to both of them is forgiveness, togetherness and respect.

Some battles are neither here or there and with no winners or losers. They are just going to both draw a line under things and move on and go back to the way that they were before this issue.
This new method will only put a wedge between them. No couple with "yours" and "mine" will ever bond in the long run.

5minsmadness:

The issue is that the money she wants to use will cause strain on the family. Also the man feels if she acquires this she will still go on to ask for more things and it will become a habit.




There are two Tvs in their house. One in the parlour and one in the room. The one in the parlour is connected to dstv which is where the mam wanted to watch his program. He says it was live news not football.

Guys sometimes all a woman wants is your attention
So if you plan it well and are approachable and not a grizzly bear, you can still watch your show/football/news/sport or whatever with your wifey happily sitting beside you.
The problem is that sometimes you guys are just too "its my way or no way"
If you pet a woman she will be more amenable.
Gra gra gra doesnt work most of the time.

As long as a man and woman lives under same roof there will always be friction once in a while but your ability as a man to groom her into a more rational than emotional being is a sure banker. As a man you ought to provide top quality leadership for your family and control your wifey positively else, your life gonna be a living hell.

Women are not so difficult beings to understand once you take time out to study and understand their core essence. Agreed you said some words to trigger her to the point of offing the telly. Common Bro that woman trusted you with her life and went through hell to give you 2 beautiful kids amongst other sacrifices she made so far. I must say that your ogbonge slap juggled her back to reality and is making her doubt all her prior commitments to you and she has and already making her moves to a life without you too bad! But, that's how a normal lady's mind works. Your makeup sex ought to have been mindblowing to be able to erase such thoughts fast before it took root. That slap has given her the psychological and spiritual advantage and she owns you now. Your only mission now is to find a way to get across to that stoney heart she's building up now and you have to do it in record time. I advice you take her to a favourite spot you guys always cherish when the new love was on fire and ask her- How did we allow things go so BAD?

chaircover:


Guys sometimes all a woman wants is your attention
So if you plan it well and are approachable and not a grizzly bear, you can still watch your show/football/news/sport or whatever with your wifey happily sitting beside you.
The problem is that sometimes you guys are just too "its my way or no way"
If you pet a woman she will be more amenable.
Gra gra gra doesnt work most of the time.

pet?
is she a child? who doesn't know guys can be very engrossed with their football games? if i am watching footie, nothing else matters & everyone knows that & they have come to accept me that way. i expect my partner to follow suit. i cannot count the number of weddings of good friends i have missed just because it clashed with man utd's fixtures.

women should knit when their partners are watching football.....it's only for 90 mins.

coogar:


pet?
is she a child? who doesn't know guys can be very engrossed with their football games? if i am watching footie, nothing else matters & everyone knows that & they have come to accept me that way. i expect my partner to follow suit. i cannot count the number of weddings of good friends i have missed just because it clashed with man utd's fixtures.

women should knit when their partners are watching football.....it's only for 90 mins.

Yeye!
The men chasing a ball, that you refuse to "pet" your wife for, are making millions of pounds and are "petting" their wives on exotic holidays . . . .
You are here doing mike tyson infront of your beko 14 inch TV

chaircover:


Yeye!
The men chasing a ball, that you refuse to "pet" your wife for, are making millions of pounds and are "petting" their wives on exotic holidays . . . .
You are here doing mike tyson infront of your beko 14 inch TV

it's a symbiotic relationship.
they chase the ball for 90 mins & i am entertained for that 90 mins with plenty to talk about afterwards.

let wifey go & learn to knit - that should occupy her for the 90 mins i am engrossed with my game. when she's watching her telemundo, i don't curl in one corner of the house sulking cos i want her attention.

this is another evidence that most married women have the emotional make up of a prepubescent teen. "my hubby isn't talking to me, i think he loves football more than he loves me."

bunch of divas!

Epic answer @chaircover

Coogar,ntooooooo!

moca:
Epic answer @chaircover

Coogar,ntooooooo!

which wives are they petting?
these footballers hardly stay at home. christmas o, new year o, they are in the hotel preparing for the next games. they travel to europe at will. when do the wives get to enjoy them?

coogar:


which wives are they petting?
these footballers hardly stay at home. christmas o, new year o, they are in the hotel preparing for the next games. they travel to europe at will. when do the wives get to enjoy them?

Why r u a rebel,coogar?
Rebellion and strong head is from d devil o.

Pls go and post pictures for me where I called u.
Want to ask u questions there.
Pls now

5minsmadness:
So my neighbor came to judge matter with me this early morning. I really felt for the guy cos I like the couple and the way they seem to relate outside. I decided to bring the matter here to see if I can possibly get some mature advice.

The man and his wife have been married for four years now and have two beautiful kids. Both husband and wife are working. I see the guy as the quiet but deep partner while the wife is more outgoing.
At the end of last month they had an argument that ended badly. Husband wanted to watch something on TV and wifey refused that she was watching her regular program. Husband explained that this was a one time thing and was happening live. Wife finally agreed with much grumbling which he didn't take kindly to. He told her he rarely watches TV that she shouldn't grumble so much. Simple enough but them things escalated with wife turning off the television and telling the husband that there was no way he was going to watch that program. He lost his temper and a scuffle ensued in which he slapped her. He said they were both shocked because he has never been physical with her throughout their 4yrs marriage. He left her alone in the house and drove off, came back close to midnight to find the kids asleep and the wife waiting on the couch. He apologised and she apologised too and he felt that was the end of it.

The next morning he was still feeling bad so he asked her jokingly if there was anything he could do to make up for it. The wife said that since he was shouting that the tv belonged to him then she wanted her own things too. She also wants to start buying properties in the house for herself so she wont be 'caught unawares'. He reassured her that he was angry at the time and didn't mean half of what he said and she said some mean things too. She still insisted on her own TV and finally the husband agreed.

The issue now is she is now asking for her own car. This couple just bought a Honda CRV last year Christmas but she is insisting that she wants a car she can call her own even though they bought the car as a family and i personally see them both driving it. He has just paid his house rent January and feels an extra car is an unnecessary liability. She wants to use her own savings to buy it while he covers the losses with his salary. Meanwhile they had an initial plan to buy land and start building their own house after buying the CRV.

He is not in support of the idea as he feels she doesn't need it and her being adamant about it is showing she plans on having more of her personal items so she can break off the marriage with ease if necessary. He said he is tired of apologising about that night bit just cannot afford the car right now, maybe in two years time.

I asked some more questions but this is the bulk of the matter. The guy was really looking sad even as he went to work this morning. I plan on talking to the wife later in the day as am close to both of them.

What do you guys think? Pls mature responses only biko.

This is sad. I think it's a trust issue. He has to win back her trust. I think hitting her was basically what made him fall in her eyes. She does not feel protected by him anymore and as such has emotionally detached. There's nothing besides assuring her that he made a regrettable mistake and over time he will prove it to her. For right now, what he has is what he has. Most women will not respect a man they do not feel safe with. He has work to do

5minsmadness:

Thanks for this your contribution.
@bold I don't understand, are u saying i should buy the TV from them? I get two tv for my house already o.

Friend, in that way, you will set another home in the course of the Lord and your reward shall be from Him.

Just do it. You shall have a reason for the TV later on.

What kind of a man tells his wife the TV is his anyways? I bet that's not the first time he laid claims on properties, that's why the woman wants hers.

You have already describe her husband has a gud and non violent man. The wife should forget about what happened and move on with her husband. At least a woman should show some respect we aren't in USA. Buying all those things she requested will only aggravate the situation. If the husband buy all those things I am sure the husband will loose his position has the head. The husband never complained about the mutual use of those property until the conflict arise. My advice for you is to talk to her to change her decision, if she doesn't I think she just got the opportunity to fulfill her long desired dream which I believe will bring down the bridge between them. Who knows if she has an ugly secret or something else against her husband.

remsonik:
That woman wants to destroy her home with her own hands. Tell her to be wise before she pushes her husband out,I guess the man already apologised to her so what's the unnecessary need to start getting her own properties? Worst of it their kids will be the most hit by any selfish decision she takes

You have said it all my dear. She is gradually pushing him away, when the result comes I hope she enjoys it.

In marriage there is no ‘his’ or ‘hers’ neither is there ‘mine’ or ‘yours’… its ‘ours’. ‘OURS’ is the only acceptable pronoun in marriage when it comes to properties and possessions.

It is a good move that your friend and wife apologized after the slap and argument, but it is obvious the wife is yet to forget about the husbands utterances during the fracas …(forget should always go with forgive)

The choice of words from the husband was just an opportunity for the wife to voice out an idea she has held onto for awhile,… which is ‘she wants ‘her’ own things’ cos she feels she can afford them.

The wife wanting her own things, if she can afford them is not the problem here, but that the husband feels such will be a waste of resources, as it is an unnecessary duplications which ‘they’ don’t really need at this time.

Mr. Op, your success in trying to resolve this matter depends a lot on how much respect the wife has for you,…it depends on your ability to convince her to completely believe that her husband has her best interest at heart as well.

If she still refuses to see reasons with you and her husband and insist on getting her own things,…It will be easier to ask the wife to report this same case to someone else,(someone she believes she can trust the persons judgment) … just like the husband came to you.

Trust me, if this issue is not resolved now, it might not stop at asking for her own car,…more ‘her own item’ demands will follow, as both parties resources / income increases.

I wish you success!!

It's not a big deal. The man should buy her the TV nd not car. You see, I did the same in my house though it didn't bring fight sha. My hubby loves to watch soccer nd foreign movies nd I love naija movies, sitcoms etc. Infact, it's only one naija sitcom ( Tinsel) that we both enjoy to watch. So wen soccer is on, I am forced to watch it with him or I go outside nd gist which I don't mind cuz all day while he's at work, I have the TV to myself. But during weekend, it's annoying cuz I don't really get to watch until soccer is over nd I don't want him to go outside to watch it either so I will just sit there and watch with him. Politely, I asked for my own TV nd gave my reasons cuz even with the TINSEL we both like to watch, when it's on nd soccer is on, he prefers to watch soccer. So he was able to get another TV nd put in the room. So while he's watching what he wants in one TV, I watch what I want in the other one.

The woman should accept his apology nd just ask for TV In a loving way

Op, Call both partner and flog their conscience to reality. Do not mince word when scolding them and dont forget you need not take side.

Frown face and ask them why the want to tear their marriage apart over a simple issue as television.

Tell the woman to retaliate the husband slapping if she really doesn't love or respect him enough so that calmness can be maintained. Remind her that two wrong don't make anything right and mandate the husband to pose for the slap

Blame the man for ever slapping the wife and blame the woman for taking things too far....Ask her if she will also like to have her own children separately?

After you are done treating their fucck ups, advice them to go live as ONE sharing all things in common and not as flatmates with their respective properties.

5minsmadness:

Thanks for this your contribution.
@bold I don't understand, are u saying i should buy the TV from them? I get two tv for my house already o.

Please do not intervene or even show your hand at all.

They don't need a third party now. I doubt they have exhausted all avenues of solving the issue they are facing by themselves.

You can only advise the husband but going over to talk to the wife is a big breach of their privacy and they may never recover from such. Let them sort it out themselves. It is not life threatening so all third party should keep out .

She wants her own propertities, no problem but let her get them from her own paycheck becos even he buys them, it still belongs 2 him, more ever her action will gradual bring down her marriage if she does not put it in check, she might be enjoyin d flow of things now thinkin she is havin the upper hand but sooner or leta, her husband would exhuast the remaining patience in him.