My nick name is Jokhen and I am the world's
most sorrowful young man on earth and the
world's biggest Jerk. I sought for words that could
best describe this influx of emotions that
overwhelmed me while I wrote and they all seemed
to elude me,may I ask you for some? life took
away from me my comfort, my happiness, my
education, my hope, my friends, my confidence and
above all my pride, you show me a successful
young man who was deprived all this and I'll point
at a million and one of them in psychiatric homes,
rehabilitation centres, and prison homes. How I
dared and survived life's harsh realities might
remain a mystery but I do know one thing, of all
the good things life took from me it gave me a
goldmine , it gave me a father whose name would
be carved in bronze as a statue upon the gates of
my heart and my unborn children's forever. A man
who deserves a better son in my stead. Before my
twin brother and I were born, we were already
graduates at 20, such was his lofty dreams for
this unworthy son that he gave up luxury to pursue
it's fulfilment. But as I write I am past that age
yet, not out of school, the blame? Fully mine. I
once had things smooth and easy, how I miss
those feelings,for I now know great pain, despair,
anxiety, and uncertainties. But one day shall come
When men would ask me, "What kept you going,
through those dark hours?" and I shall be saying
with a sigh, "remember that wise old saying
'nothing good comes easy, well, that gave me faith" On that day I shall look back upon my life,
and see it as a learning threshold, equipped with a
library of incessant worries, unkept promises,
shattered fantasies and unfulfilled dreams. Yet with
all the odds starkly against me I sought the
principal thing. And that has left me beaten and
broken, tattered and haggard, bruised and
wounded, thus has left me with looks way past my
age. Yet I have learnt to restrain front self pity,
never to cry over spilled milk, for I know now, all
the hair pulling and fussing in the world won't
bring back a drop of it, so I have no more tears to
shed about the mistakes of the past . When I shall
look back upon the days of my youth and
remember the young men who were spared all I
ever went through, I shall harbour no envy
whatsoever, for I would have made my mark, they
only would have graced the earth. I have lapped
and with my hands drank from the waters of life.
They only Have bowed upon their knees and sipped
and so can't fight the battles I ever fought. I have
seen, I have tested and have known things, things
light , inexperienced and unknown to them. Still, I
am like that one that cried, "I am the wisest of all,
for I know one thing and that is that I know
nothing." The great gains of humility, the brightest
light I saw in these dark hours. I get the wider
picture now, for I see clearly now, I see farther for
the blots in my eyes are washed away by my many
tears. From the great and renowned university of
fatal blows, I have learnt great philosophies,
doctrines and theories of life that no young man
who have had a rosy life ever possess. I know
better now, never to worry about tomorrow, that
does more harm than good, I hold on to my surest
possession, which is 'Today '. The feeling of
anxiety that the worry of tomorrow brings with it
have made even the strongest falter. So I do all I
can now to put all this fears behind me because
this experiences has taught me that the things we
fear the most robs us of our present Joy, for most
times they never come to be, I now know that
When the days we fear comes, the ability and the
cunning to outwit them comes too. Trifles no
longer annoys me. I have seen my whole world of
happiness, of hope crushed and trampled in ruins
around me, nothing matters again, I do not care
much if I was once cheated, it doesn't matter if the
soup is tasteless or if my younger one didn't lay
the bed right. I have longed borrowed the advise of
Albert Einstein, in that I now live my life, as if
nothing was a miracle yet live my daily life
knowing everything Is a miracle. One thing I have
also learnt so far is never to expect too much of
people, even the ones closest to me, so easily I
greet a betraying friend with soul in my handclasp
and give a warm embrace to an old friend who
back stabbed. I have had to stay up most nights
to weep, now there's plenty room for humour,
show me a young man who can approach disaster with a garment of laughter instead of anxiety, I will show you a young man that can never be hurt much ever again. I will
never regret this fatal blows I receive, I will cherish
this moments, for through them and by them I
sought to live a life worthy of reference. I sought
to be that son every dad would wish to have.
Somewhere down the years I would remember this
day upon which I picked up this pen and wrote, for
I would have lived, I would have touched humanity,
thanks to the hard bricks life threw at me, bricks
with which I now lay the solid foundation for my
children unborn. no regrets, no complains, I shall
drink with the cup of wisdom from the wells of
reward, and the price which I now pay for the prize,
is worth it. What price will you pay? What price can
you pay? What price have you paid? What price are
you paying?