True story... a bit long. It was more of a question and answer segment but easy to understand.. i believe

Elder Sister Bumni- I hate my sister, she ruined my life
My name is Bunmi and I have not spoken to my sister in five years. It is a long story, but I will try to explain it as best as I can. I have an immediate younger sister, we will call her Dupe. I am two years older than her. Six years ago, I met a man who wanted to marry me. My sister hated him for no good reason and went around badmouthing him to all our family and friends. We have a very physical altercation and she was hospitalized. I eventually got married to him, even though my parents were against it. My sister didn’t help me with planning or anything. She just sat there at the reception like a complete stranger. When our first child was born, she didn’t come visit, only sent a gift. I am her older sister. I am not supposed to go and beg her. She has not stepped in my home since we got married. I never thought we would ever have this kind of issue considering how close we all were. Infact, her bad karma jinxed my life and jinxed my marriage, because now I am separated from my husband and he is the process of filing the divorce. I blame her because all the negativity and all the bad blood that my family had towards him is because of her. The evil girl called me for the first time in years after my separation. She said she called to console me but I know she called to gloat. I won’t lie. I said some very mean things to her. Very mean. Now last week, I got an invitation from her for her wedding. She sent a letter with it asking me to be her chief bridesmaid. Can you imagine? after all she has done, she wants to rub it in that she is now getting married and i am now a divorcee. See why I hate her? Everyone is telling me to chill, to go for the wedding, to be the bigger person. no one sees my side. No ones sees my pain. My parents threatened to write me off if I don’t go for the wedding. It’s so unfair that i am now the villain and she is the angel. She broke my marriage and now she has stolen my family’s affections.

more explanation from Bumni
The reason why my sister hated my soon to be ex husband was that she said she had observed his behaviour with elderly people and with people of lower class. She concluded that he was arrogant, rude and obnoxious. That he would be a big mistake. she doesn’t have to like the man I am with but she does not have to go telling family that he did this to this person, he did that to that person. She made them hate him………….Yeah, she went to the hospital but it was not that serious, mostly hair pulling and I had kicked her mouth with my knee when we were pulling each other hair. She lost a tooth and went to the hospital. It is not as if I beat her blue-black over a man………… My sister and I were very close. No, I never saw her as a vindictive person and no , I don’t think I am misconstruing her intentions. She has always been an “I told you so’ kind of person. And I am sure she is very happy that she was right……..She is responsible for the break of my marriage because she brought in negative energy from the beginning. She caused friction all around with her big mouth and selfishness. She was jealous that I had found someone to marry because she had always considered herself the finer sister and she did her best to bring me down. Let her put herself in my shoes. shey she is getting married now. What if I decide to go telling family and friends that her husband is wrong for her. Won’t that bad air, that negativity ruin any chance that a marriage has to survive? I am not saying we were perfect. but we would have been able to work through our problems. I would have made some better decisions if i was able to go to my mother for solutions, but I couldn’t because they already hated him and they were all looking for a reason to bash him. Now, after I got separated, she called. She knows why she called and it was not to console. I am not mistaking her intentions. And to ask me to be her chief bridesmaid……are you kidding me? How dare she? I know I come across bitter, but I AM bitter. I hate my sister. She ruined my life.

Dupe- I dont think settling is in our nearest future
My sister and I were quite close growing up. We had a good relationship. I was always stealing her clothes. We fought. We played. normal normal. My sister put on a lot of weight at a time. I didn’t. I think that is when we began to have a little bit of serious friction beyond normal sister fighting because she started saying some mean things. But it was nothing serious. Then this guy came along. Let’s call him Desmond. Desmond was a very ok guy. Good job, good house. I was happy for my sister that she has found someone to marry. We used to hang out together, the two of them and me and my now fiance. I began to notice something off about him. He had the nastiest mouth ever. He was always rude to the three of us, including her and said nasty things to complete strangers. More than 3 occasions, Desmond had gotten into fights when we were there and Goodness knows how many when we were not there. He was borderline rude to my folks and my sister knew all this, but for some reason, she seemed ok with it. I was not. I had a very bad vibe and I knew if he could do this to strangers, imagine what he would do to her if they marry. I talked to her. She said he was good to her and that’s all that matters. Yes, I did discuss the matter with two female cousins who we were also very close with and were older than her because obviously she was not listening to me. I did not go about badmouthing him, but I guess the gist spread. Yes it was partially my fault, I will agree but my intentions were good.

My sister and I got into a fight. It’s been 5 years. I cannot recall what led up to it, but all I know she slapped me first and I retaliated in anger. She knocked out my tooth, didn’t come see me in the hospital and asked me not to interfere in her life. So I didn’t. She did not involve me in any of the wedding plans. I didn’t go to her wedding and sit like a stranger. I was busy running errands for my mom all day long, serving guests and making sure the wedding did not fall apart. I didn’t go and dance with her. That would be hypocritical of me and knowing my sister, if I had gone to dance, she would have embarrassed me. I was very excited when she gave birth. I thought that things would be better by now. So I asked my mum to stylishly find out if it would be ok if I came to the hospital. Her response to my mum “What is she coming to look for?’. So, I didn’t go. I sent over a very expensive gift for the baby. There was no acknowledgement and no response. I figured that obviously she was not interested in settling with me and I let her be.

When I heard she got separated, I was very sad. Yes, I didn’t approve of the marriage but I never wanted them to break up. I called a month after I first heard the news. It took all the courage in the world and she gave me the insults of my life. I remembered saying that ‘Wow, Desmond’s bad mouth had rubbed off on you sha’. She continued with the expletives and I hung up. Maybe I should not have said that but being insulted was very annoying. A year later, I was getting married and my mother said that this rubbish with my sister had gone on long enough and I needed to fix things if she won’t. So I sent her a letter. I was not going to call again. I apologised and begged her in the letter. I asked her if she would do me the honour of being my chief bridesmaid because I wanted her to have a major role in the wedding. I thought that was the highest title I could give her. She didn’t respond but I heard gist from family members that I insulted her. I have been told my approach was wrong, but I didn’t think so. It was not as if she had gotten separated yesterday. I couldn’t have asked her to be mother of the day, so what other major role would I have asked her to play?

When I read your blog and realised that she thinks I ruined her life, i was shocked. How? How do I ruin her life? Which kind of negative energy? Is she calling me a witch? She painted me as one vindictive malicious devil and I have to say I am very disappointed that she thinks like this. Why is Desmond not being blamed and I am? I love and miss my sister, but that person that wrote that on your blog is not this sister I knew. That person can kill me. I sincerely believe so. I have a wedding in 2 months. I would want my sister to be there but the hatred is too much for me. For her to says she hates me and I ruined her life is an indication that even after 5 years, she is not ready to make peace. My parents are also pushing me to settle. I don’t mind settling but she has to let go of the bitterness. She has to be willing to sit down in a family meeting. She has alienated everyone, not just me. And it is all my fault?? Those commenting that she should forgive me. what did I DO that was so awful?? I have been carrying this fight for 5 years. I am tired and right now, I don’t think if settling is in our nearest future


THE matter pass me, make i no lie. And it is still ongoing

He hu hates is a murderer. We shud strive 2 b @ peace wt all men.

Let go ladies & free ur lives from wrought & disaster.
Family na family dats y blood is thicker dan water.
Pray for heart of forgiveness.

See how misunderstanding can ruin peoples life?

Well it's been there all along from the beginning. What more, it's been nurtured for five years by envy and hatred. So all we've now is a big black tree between two sisters. A tree that will obviously crash everything around if you try to cut it down.

Me self the matter pass me.
But hopefully this is ‘family section’.

Tagging our good warriors;
cococandy, chaircover, kauwalia, ishilove, etc.

I wouldn't lie. I read it this for the entertainment.

This matter is a serious large big matter o.
Your parents gat a big role to play. You cant continue Kipping malice with each other.

Misunderstanding, pre judging each other's intention and being downright silly. I mean, how much bitterness can you hold against a sibling and for how long?.

It's pretty obvious the younger sister was right about the man all along, but expressing her opinion publicly was very wrong.

The elder sister too is pre-judging and drawing wrong conclusions. She is the most angry of the two.

Younger sister should let go of her own ego, learn some respect. She should meet her elder sister and tender heartfelt apology, and explain herself carefully. If it doesn't work, go with family members and close friends.

Elder sis, show some maturity, you know within yourself that younger sis isnt as bad as you are painting her. She made mistakes, but she isnt responsible for all your problems. Perhaps she was right about you husband initially. She wasn't mad at you or keeping grudges, she stayed away because she was scared of you. And obviously she had reasons to. Please let go of your anger, and be there at her wedding. Hug her and make peace.

The healing process may be slow, but you will heal.

Eating popcorn, and watching in 5D

If you ask me na who I go ask? The matter sef long pass dictionary

Said it all you did.

In addition their mother should step in between them and help them make peace wih one another.

Who knows how long ago they've not seen each other? Their mom needs to arrange a meeting between them and each person should give the other a chance to pour out their hearts without interruption. No shouting. No name calling.
Just a point by point analysis of whatever each person has against the other or what they imagine the other has against them.

They will be amazed at how therapeutic it can be to actually try to see things from the other person's perspective.

They will be surprised to see the meeting end in hugs if they give each other that chance.

They can't go on like this.

I wish them goodluck.

dicefrost:
Misunderstanding, pre judging each other's intention and being downright silly. I mean, how much bitterness can you hold against a sibling and for how long?.

It's pretty obvious the younger sister was right about the man all along, but expressing her opinion publicly was very wrong.

The elder sister too is pre-judging and drawing wrong conclusions. She is the most angry of the two.

Younger sister should let go of her own ego, learn some respect. She should meet her elder sister and tender heartfelt apology, and explain herself carefully. If it doesn't work, go with family members and close friends.

Elder sis, show some maturity, you know within yourself that younger sis isnt as bad as you are painting her. She made mistakes, but she isnt responsible for all your problems. Perhaps she was right about you husband initially. She wasn't mad at you or keeping grudges, she stayed away because she was scared of you. And obviously she had reasons to. Please let go of your anger, and be there at her wedding. Hug her and make peace.

The healing process may be slow, but you will heal.

Hi dear,am shocked cos I no u in person...

This is reli sad cos I no wen u got married n EYC

Hi dear,am shocked cos I no u in person...

This is reli sad cos I no wen u got married n EYC

And as per ur sis....take it easy

in the first plaace, she's old enough to choice th person she wants to leave her life with, its non of your business even if she wanna settle down with the devil himself. if truly your intentions were clear, the best you can do as a caring sister was to advice and pray for your elder sis. going behind her back discussing it with your cousins was truly so wrung of you.. also, i believe your badt mouth has to do with the divorce. the husband, knowing that your family does not like him, will pick on your sister in every little tins she does, SO YES, YOU HAVE PARTIALLY CONTRIBUTED IN MAKING YOUR ELDER SISTER MISERABLY (congratulation). regarding the eldest sister, its time to forget and move on,u guys wasted 5good years keeping malice, i dont think you have the energy to continue like that. instead, u shuld channel your energy into starting anoda chapter. take up the bridemaid role, do for your sister what she couldnt do for u, certainly she will be ashamed of herself. just dont contribute verbally to anytin. Women in general need to have a rethink of some of their characters