Dear Future Wife,
My dear future wife before you get
interested in me, I owe you one
obligation. That obligation is letting you
know what you are getting into.
Dear Future wife, change they say is
constant; personally, I have nothing
against change that I can assure you.
However, I have to make one thing
very clear. Please note that not every
change is acceptable. People only
change things they don’t like or things
have become old as a result of time.
What I’m saying in essence is that I’m
putting you on notice that there are
things that no amount of pressure can
bring about any change to them. Let me
quickly give you a rundown of things
that are likely not going to change in
years to come in our house.
1. I love my pounded yam, I eat it once
in every two days. This is unlike my
friends who like to eat it every day. So
my dear, get ready to serve me my
pounded yam at least once in every two
days. I hope this is not asking too
much?
2. I love my food cooked with firewood.
The extra flavour and aroma that
firewood gives food is heavenly.
Therefore, sweet wife in the waiting, try
and perish every idea of using gas
burners in my house. That won’t work.
Ho ha! Don’t worry, I will fetch the
wood, I will hew them myself and you
will cook my food with them.
3. As for what you will wear, don’t be
afraid of what you will eat or wear. I
inherited three boxes full of wrappers
from my mother. George, Hollandis, tie
and dye, name them, are in those
boxes. These are great and popular
wrappers that covered the unclothedness
of our mothers and the generations that
existed before them. So my dear wife to
be, forget your mini skirt, leggings and
some of those things you people wear
in this age. You have more than enough
to wear.
4. I love children. Yes I love them a lot.
So get ready to give me between eight
to ten children. Future wife, I hope your
waist and back are strong enough to
bear and carry them.
5. One more thing my dear wife to
come, I love our traditional markets.
These are places where one can buy
fresh fruits and vegetables and many
other fresh commodities. I love the
smell of the market too; they have a
way of reminding one of the farms. Your
shopping has to be in the open
markets. Don’t worry; I will buy you
some pairs of rain boots for your
shopping in the market. In the light of
this, please note that there will be
nothing like shopping at the malls and
those places that I don’t understand
why people go there in the first place.
Do consider these points I have raised
as very critical.
Yours sincerely,
Dream Husband

"Dream Husband" summarizes the whole story......keep dreaming Bro