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Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

A volcano is a mountain with hiccups.

Where does bad light go? To a prism.

Where do fish put their money? In riverbanks.

If an experiment works, something has definitely gone wrong.

What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium.

Why are chemists perfect for solving problems? Because they have all the solutions.

Where do you put dirty dishes? In the zinc.

Why do chemists prefer nitrates? Because they're cheaper than day rates.

The name’s Bond, Covalent Bond.

Atom: I’d like to report a missing electron.
Policeman: Are you sure?
Atom: Yes, I’m positive!

What's the first thing you should learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.

Why did hydrogen marry carbon? Because they bonded so well.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry labs? Methylated Spirits.

Lol