I believe orphans(no mother and father) can easily fall into d hand of wrong woman expecially no mother around him to guide him, I maybe wrong. Did u share dsame opinion with me?

I certainly feel so too.
I think the absence of both the father n mother wud hugely contribute to the child's ineptitude.
It will deficit the quality of 'his' perceptions,ideas cum thoughts,his emotional reasoning and hitherto emotional guardiance

Buh there are cases where 'they' make good choices though it is usually rare

Saao:
I believe orphans(no mother and father) can easily fall into d hand of wrong woman expecially no mother around him to guide him, I maybe wrong. Did u share dsame opinion with me?

I understand u bro but its wrong to think that way Becos IT IS ONLY GOD THAT CAN GIVE A MAN A GOOD AND VIRTUOUS WIFE NOT HIS MOTHER OR FATHER. it is true that parents help to advice on choosing a partner but MANY MEN WITH MOTHER, FATHER AND EVEN GRANDFATHER HAVE MADE MISTAKES IN CHOOSING THEIR PARTNER. the Bible says God is the father of the father less and orphans . all they need is too talk to him. he will guide them.. ..that is why he is........FATHER ALMIGHTY.

Not necessarily. It depends on a lot of oda factors.

EngrRolly:
I certainly feel so too.
I think the absence of both the father n mother wud hugely contribute to the child's ineptitude.
It will deficit the quality of 'his' perceptions,ideas cum thoughts,his emotional reasoning and hitherto emotional guardiance

Buh there are cases where 'they' make good choices though it is usually rare

all this grammer for this little text,,na waoo you did not chop your school fees

Vision4God:
Not necessarily. It depends on a lot of oda factors.

what are d factors then?

achinaboy:

all this grammer for this little text,,na waoo you did not chop your school fees

its not a little text, I think u should look beyond d text.

Saao:
I believe orphans(no mother and father) can easily fall into d hand of wrong woman expecially no mother around him to guide him, I maybe wrong. Did u share dsame opinion with me?

No, I do not share your opinion. Anyone can choose a bad spouse, irrespective of whether they have parents or not. The right choice involves a lot of independent thought. You should be the one deciding, not your parents or family. This may sound untraditional but I absolutely would choose whom to marry, irrespective of what my parents thought. That is just me though but that's the way I was raised so . . . .

You think so because most of you have developed the habit of relying on your parents for decisions about your marriage.

On the contrary I think an orphan has an extra 20percent chance of a successful marriage because mother-in-law wahala would have automatically been subtracted from their list of problems.

cococandy:
You think so because most of you have developed the habit of relying on your parents for decisions about your marriage.

On the contrary I think an orphan has an extra 20percent chance of a successful marriage because mother-in-law wahala would have automatically been subtracted from their list of problems.

why should it always be that the man's mother that is the problem, why not the woman's mother or father? You people just don't know insulting it is to always prefer that the man's mother had died before you married him. The first time i heard it from a lady, i was shocked! Nollywood has caused so much trouble for us men and our mothers when we get married. There is absolutely no reason women should feel threatened by the presence of the MIL, absolutely no reason!

There is a lady i love so dearly. When her mother died last year, it touched me so much that i sent her a heart-felt condolence message. When she remembered her mother in her quiet way one year on, i still felt her loss and i believe i was the only one who still extended my condolence.

If men can be this welcoming of women's mothers, why cant women welcome men's mothers? We don't even see your father as a problem in anyway. If i get married to that lady and she brings her mother to live in the house with us (had it been she was still alive), you think i will ever have any problem with her? She will even be impressed about her i will take care of her daughter! And even if she does that which is not suppose to be, you think i will disrespect her as you women are always ready to do with your MIL?

When i was being born, messed up my diaper and got cleaned, misbehaved and got corrected, got my school fees payed, made sure my home works were done, got provisions for me to take to school, sick and got taken care of, bullied and got defended, where was this lady who now claims to share love with me? Because you now sall yourself my wife, you want to cut off my own mother from me completely. The moment a lady squares up with my mother is the day that marriage disolves. Why should i pick her over my mother, especially when we know today that marriages are not for better for worse anymore and that churches are now changing the vows taking at marriages today?

A woman's mother is a mother-in-law to the man and some of them cause problems too.
Especially if she's the materialistic type who believes a son-in-law owes her upkeep and the man is not earning enough to meet up to her demands.


So why are you assuming I'm only talking about MILs from the man's side?

And who's talking about preferring a man's mother to be dead? Where are you getting all that from?

I stopped reading your post after that sentence.


No interested in being misunderstood today.

craziebone:


why should it always be that the man's mother that is the problem, why not the woman's mother or father? You people just don't know insulting it is to always prefer that the man's mother had died before you married him. The first time i heard it from a lady, i was shocked! Nollywood has caused so much trouble for us men and our mothers when we get married. There is absolutely no reason women should feel threatened by the presence of the MIL, absolutely no reason!

There is a lady i love so dearly. When her mother died last year, it touched me so much that i sent her a heart-felt condolence message. When she remembered her mother in her quiet way one year on, i still felt her loss and i believe i was the only one who still extended my condolence.

If men can be this welcoming of women's mothers, why cant women welcome men's mothers? We don't even see your father as a problem in anyway. If i get married to that lady and she brings her mother to live in the house with us (had it been she was still alive), you think i will ever have any problem with her? She will even be impressed about her i will take care of her daughter! And even if she does that which is not suppose to be, you think i will disrespect her as you women are always ready to do with your MIL?

When i was being born, messed up my diaper and got cleaned, misbehaved and got corrected, got my school fees payed, made sure my home works were done, got provisions for me to take to school, sick and got taken care of, bullied and got defended, where was this lady who now claims to share love with me? Because you now sall yourself my wife, you want to cut off my own mother from me completely. The moment a lady squares up with my mother is the day that marriage disolves. Why should i pick her over my mother, especially when we know today that marriages are not for better for worse anymore and that churches are now changing the vows taking at marriages today?

Saao:
I believe orphans(no mother and father) can easily fall into d hand of wrong woman expecially no mother around him to guide him, I maybe wrong. Did u share dsame opinion with me?

OP yes... Every man desires their parents input when selecting a partner .. even though when his mind is already made up. It's just a formality.

So in an orphans case.. Siblings, Aunts&uncles, great-aunts/uncles and grandparents.

cococandy:
A woman's mother is a mother-in-law to the man and some of them cause problems too.
Especially if she's the materialistic type who believes a son-in-law owes her upkeep and the man is not earning enough to meet up to her demands.


So why are you assuming I'm only talking about MILs from the man's side?

And who's talking about preferring a man's mother to be dead? Where are you getting all that from?

I stopped reading your post after that sentence.


No interested in being misunderstood today.

you may or may not have refered to the man's mother only. But the truth remains that the man's mother is 90percent of the times targeted in cases like this.

If you had read on, you would have seen where i got it from that women prefer their MIL to have died before they even met their hubbys. The whole thing is sickning!

Fact is...men hardly have problems with their mother in laws. The comon trend is women against their mother in laws. It is becoming unbearable me. There is a thread here on family section that even talks about that already.

craziebone:


you may or may not have refered to the man's mother only. But the truth remains that the man's mother is 90percent of the times targeted in cases like this.

If you had read on, you would have seen where i got it from that some sick women prefer their MIL to have died before they even met their hubbys. The whole thing is sickning!

Fixed.

craziebone:
Fact is...men hardly have problems with their mother in laws. The comon trend is women against their mother in laws. It is becoming unbearable me. There is a thread here on family section that even talks about that already.

Yes and the reason is that men don't marry into the girl's family rather girls marry into the men's families hence the pressure is more on the ladies to conform than it is on the guys.

I think the phenomenon is self explanatory.

cococandy:
You think so because most of you have developed the habit of relying on your parents for decisions about your marriage.
On the contrary I think an orphan has an extra 20percent chance of a successful marriage because mother-in-law wahala would have automatically been subtracted from their list of problems.

cococandy:
You think so because most of you have developed the habit of relying on your parents for decisions about your marriage.
On the contrary I think an orphan has an extra 20percent chance of a successful marriage because mother-in-law wahala would have automatically been subtracted from their list of problems.

not so easy as u put it. D decision will be urs but mother gave birth to u, raised u and Know u maybe better than even ur father so she could contribute at that point in time who u can spend d rest of ur life with. Just imagine marry someone which both u shold work together as family, she going one direction and u in another direction or u are an introvert and u married an extrovert lady cuz she pretended throughout courtship as an introvert? Assuming if mother was alife that won't happen

Women hating mothers in law from 1960

Saao:
what are d factors then?
.

If he grew up in d wrong hands & he also adopted a dirty life, friends, society, he'l sure get his type.

Buh if he is raised by a gud hand, goes 2 a bible believin church, hv great friends,& also prayers invsted on dem by grandparnts or evn der parents(nt in vain)...... he is gud 2go.
Hv some of dem around hu God compensated for d loss of der parents wt great spouses.

Saao:
not so easy as u put it. D decision will be urs but mother gave birth to u, raised u and Know u maybe better than even ur father so she could contribute at that point in time who u can spend d rest of ur life with. Just imagine marry someone which both u shold work together as family, she going one direction and u in another direction or u are an introvert and u married an extrovert lady cuz she pretended throughout courtship as an introvert? Assuming if mother was alife that won't happen

are you orphan?

Sorry for asking if you think that's too private.

But if you are, I want you to know that apart from not having parents to be there for you when you need them, you're not different from those who have parents when it comes to marriage issues.

If it will work, it will work. If it won't work, parents intrusion won't make it work. It could even create more friction.
If your wife is extrovert and you're introvert,(assuming that is a problem. Which I don't think It is. Except you mean something else)
how's having a mom going to change your wife?
What your mom will do is complain and disagree with your wife.
Is that a solution?

Where having parents is important is when it doesn't work out, you have support to fall back on while trying to rebuild your life.
And of course good counsel too from them at times when you need advice.

But if you're married to a bad person, your parents can't make them change or behave better.
It will still fail ultimately.


So just go in with the determination to make it work and ready to be strong for yourself in case it goes south.

By the way Many divorces are caused by in-law intrusions.
Those that want to live your life for you and decide how both of you treat each other.

Tell me again how having parents makes one's marriage last. Or if in fact you have data that proves there are more divorces among orphans than there is among those with active parents.






God help those that will deliberately misunderstand me

cococandy:


Yes and the reason is that men don't marry into the girl's family rather girls marry into the men's families hence the pressure is more on the ladies to conform than it is on the guys.

I think the phenomenon is self explanatory.

i get your point but things are not that way. The whole idea that women marry into men's family is a mere cliche today rather than a strong cultural reality. Today, we live in an urban industralized society where men have to go out of their father's house and start up thier own family. This is unlike the rural-agrarian society we use to have where a man remains in his father's house, marry and still bring the lady to his father's house. Today, its not that way anymore.

In today's home, the man's family rarely frequent their son's or brother's house when he gets married. But the woman's mother and siblings are always present and despite that, you will never see the man get into real problems with his MIL.

Marrying an orphan is a huge task, most times they aren't trustworthy. They make lots of mistakes because no one is there to guide them.

3cycle:
Marrying an orphan is a huge task, most times they aren't trustworthy. They make lots of mistakes because no one is there to guide them.

I think I agree with u to some extend but also remember that d man can easily make mistake by choosing a wrong woman and again some women usually took advantage of that to misbehave in marriage. Cuz assuming if the parents are alive, expecially the mother, wife will be very careful to misbehave as her mother in law will not allow that to happen. U talk of trustworthy, I don't really get that

Saao:
what are d factors then?
its not a little text, I think u should look beyond d text.

just a compliment,i do understand u