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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Would Marry My Wife All Over Again – Lai Muhammed (631 Views)
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I Would Marry My Wife All Over Again – Lai Muhammed by Ayopercent(m): 8:22am On Mar 20, 2015 |
Alhaji Lai Muhammed, National Publicity Secretary of the All Progressives Congress (APC), got married to Alhaja Kudirat Adeoti Muhammed some 35 years ago. Blessed with four children and several grandchildren, the couple shared their marital journey so far with Kazeem Akintunde. Where was the meeting point when the love affair began? We actually met during preparation towards FESTAC 77. I was doing my Youth Service with the organisers of FESTAC 77 and we needed some School certificate holders as protocol officers to work temporarily with us. She was among those selected and from there we started our relationship. Was it love at first sight? Alhaji Muhammed: For me yes. I liked her immediately I set my eyes on her. Madam: For me, I don’t think I had any intention of looking for a boyfriend then but along the line, we developed interest in each other. I developed interest along the line Was there any opposition then among your parents? Madam: From my own parents yes. I meant so much to my mother and she wanted me to marry an elderly person who will be able to take good care of me. But fortunately, he proved them wrong. He was able to take good care of me when they were alive and they were impressed. When did you eventually became husband and wife? We got married in 1979. We met in 1976, started working together in 1977 and we got married in 1979 after about three years of courtship. How has it been since then? Alhaji Muhammed. Let me first of all correct the impression of the opposition from her family. My father-in-law, from the day I met him, gave me the go ahead; why, because my first degree was in French and my father in law spoke German and French fluently, making it easy for me to buy him over, so to say. The opposition like she said was from her mother. Well, it was partly due to what she said, we were very young but my late mother-in-law also did not take kindly to her daughter getting married to an Ara-Oke (someone from the hinterland) but gradually, my wife did most of the convincing and I am happy that even though she did not stay with us for a long period after we got married (she died four years after),during the period that she was still alive, after she made up her mind for us to get married, my mother-in- law became my pillar of support. I still remember few years after we got married, we wanted to buy a new car-that should be around 1980/81; my wife and I were able to put together about N4, 000 but the vehicle cost about N6, 000. We went straight to my mother-in-law and she gave us the balance. I don’t even think we paid her back before she died. The car was a brand new 504 with Air- condition. She used to cook for us when my wife was working and she used to work late and so my mother-in-law would cook for us. There was a day my sister-in-law wanted to take part of the stew; she insisted that the stew was for Layi and that she could not take from it. My father-in-law on the other hand hit it off with me from day one. We have been married for 35 years and it has been beautiful. I have never regretted marrying her and I will give you reasons. In 1982 I came home one day and I told her that I would be enrolling for a degree programme in law; I told her that she should take good care of the home front as I would be combining my work with my studies and she discharged the task creditably. Another time when I was called to the bar and was still new where I was working, I must have been too outspoken and I felt the honourable thing was to resign. I got home and told her that I wanted to resign. I did not have any savings then but told her that I would provide the money for accommodation but that she should not ask me for house allowance or Children’s School fees until I had established my own chamber. I actually asked her to give me one year and it is to her credit that I never knew how we ate throughout that period. I thank God that within six months, I was able to redeem what she had spent in taking care of the home. Furthermore, when I went into politics, I started with Yomi Edu. We lost the primaries before moving to AD and even at that she gave her blessing. My wife has been very supportive; we have gone through a lot together. We have climbed to the top together and also crashed together. When I was the chief of staff in Lagos State, I was arguably one of the most powerful people in the cabinet and when I went to Kwara State to run for governorship, she left everything to be with me for a whole year during the campaign. We lost the election. It was quite tough, but she was there for me. What was it like when you took her home to your parents for the first time? My parents were warm to her; they are very broad-minded. When the relationship was still very young, what are those things you wanted to change about your husband then? Madam: He used to smoke and I told him I don’t like it; he said that I should give him some time and that he would eventually drop the habit. At times he won’t smoke in my presence but I could perceive the odour that he was still smoking but with time, he was able to drop the habit. Was there any period when you caught him with another lady? No, he has been very faithful to me Alhaji, was there anything you wanted to change about your wife then? There was nothing I wanted to change about her. Agreed, there is no way a woman won’t be a woman but when you have a wife who is supportive, hardworking and always there for you, what else can I ask for? One area we do disagree is the fact that my wife wants us to put money aside for the rainy day while I want us to spend it, believing that tomorrow will take care of itself. In retrospect, I think she has been right and I have been wrong. I don’t think I can marry any other person in my life. infact I would gladly marry my wife all over again. I have been in public life since when I was chief of staff, we hardly spent more than three hours together in a day but my children were just growing up then. When you have a wife who is the one that remembers the birthday of the kids and school visiting days, you will regard yourself as been lucky. She has also been able to pull my extended family together. They can easily reach her faster than me. Many even abandoned me by going directly to her because they believed they will get results faster than coming through me, and she will tell me my children cannot be doing well and those of my siblings are not; there would be no peace, there won’t be any love. It is something that gives me a lot of joy. Marriage from where I come from is not just between two people or two families, it is between clans. How many kids do you have and did you plan to have that number of children? Madam: we have four and they all came as planned. Most marriages don’t last these days because women don’t want to submit themselves to their husbands again. What would be your advice to those ladies? To the best of my knowledge one has to be very close to his or her God, to the extent that one must have a one on one relationship with God; then women should be able to persevere and have enough patience in their marital life. I believe a woman should get something doing. I don’t believe in full-time house wife. Do you have a pet name for your husband? Yes I use his middle name And what is his middle name? Atanda What about you Alhaji? I call her mummy. (Madam chips in) I call him daddy and he calls me mummy but when I need anything from him, I call him Atanda with a little bit of his Oriki. Alhaji, one thing about my wife that I like is that she is very prayerful. While I am snoring in bed, she is always praying. Also, since we got married, we have had our ups and downs but we have never contemplated been apart for one day or that we would fight and we would now spend a day away from each other. One thing she doesn’t like is that my children and I conspire a lot. We started doing that when she turned 50. All our children are outside the country and I decided that the best way to surprise her was to have all the kids at home for her birthday without her knowledge. I called all the kids to be at home for her birthday but that she should not be aware. Since she was in the habit of calling them every day, it was decided that the kids should hide their caller’s identity so that she won’t know where they are calling from and that they must be the first to call her every day in the morning. On the day of the party, I brought the children in and when it was time to cut the birthday cake I asked her to make a wish. What would you wish for as you turn 50 and she answered and said that “I would be happy if my children are with me” and I asked her to close her eyes and that by the time she opens them she would see her children. She did and I asked the kids to come in. She almost fainted. She was very happy but surprised saying ‘how could you do this to me?’ Alhaja, Do you still cook for your husband? He is not always at home, but whenever he is, I cook for him. He is on a special diet and I do prepare it. Alhaji, when was the last time you took your wife out? That must have been a long time ago. Ok, but we still went out yesterday now. Not to party just the two of you going out to relax and have fun? That would be about 30 years ago. Up till 1997 we usually travelled out for vacation but after 1997, the next time was 2007. I think it is something you should understand now. After 1997, I took up the chief of staff appointment, and then we went to Kwara for my gubernatorial campaign and now fully the job of spokesperson for the party. You know at times, I used to wake up thinking that where was I? Am I in Lagos, Abuja or where? I must say though, that she has been there for me. I would have loved to spend more quality time with her but even when I needed her, she would be outside the country to spend some time http://leadership.ng/features/418861/i-would-marry-my-wife-all-over-again-lai-muhammed |
Re: I Would Marry My Wife All Over Again – Lai Muhammed by SeverusSnape(m): 8:33am On Mar 20, 2015 |
Lie.....kai!... |
Re: I Would Marry My Wife All Over Again – Lai Muhammed by all4gud(m): 8:34am On Mar 20, 2015 |
Does his lie to his wife, children and grand children as he does to Nigerians? . His name Lai (Lie) is affecting him...is a pity |
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