Okay I'm going to make this as short as possible...I'm from a family of 4(3 boys and a girl), we lost our mum in 2011 to illness and barely 2 yrs in my dad said he wanted to marry because he was feeling lonely(my sis is at lasu and goes to school from home, the other two boys were at the boarding house at the time and the only other person at home was my cousin who had been with us since he was little)..at first the whole family was against his re-marrying citing the fact that it was too early and he already had grown up kids but he insisted a choice that pratically split him(my dad) from his family because the new lady(she also has a little kid) pratically antagonised all of them even went as far as insulting my grand-mum at a point and now let's just say the once peaceful family barely see each other eye to eye cus of her..now myself and my siblings barely got to see her cus she stays in the north and visits during the holidays and I'm pratically always at school when she comes so i barely get to spend time with her...I'm now home awaiting service but I have a little side job that takes me out of the house till in the evening so I'm barely home. Now here is the problem...none of my siblings really like her as in pure hatred they always called me at school to report her to me but i always told them to just relax(I'm the first) but now I'm home, I've began noticing those bad characters they always told me about...she's divisive, she demands respect instead of earning it from us and everything about her is always about herself and her kid ok rewind to yesterday i get back from work and I'm told my sis decided to cook and the woman comes back and starts attacking her telling that she should have called her to tell her that she wants to cook that why did she use her tomatoes without her permission and that its her kitchen and that if she tries it again she would swear for her(my sis), the other day my brother went to bring the last boy from the boarding house and when they returned he decided to prepare food for him only for this woman to come out and ask him why he's wasting her gas that he should have used the stove instead..the reports are too much and my younger brother almost hit her today it was their screaming that woke me up and my dad seems to take her side on every issue even when she's at fault. Now as the first child i know i have to do something but i want to handle things in a very mature way cus she don even attack me this afternoon but i just respected myself so I'm her seeking advise....I'm very sorry for the long post

Sighs
U the first and I blv u can talk to ur siblings
Ur dad will always take sides with her
Don't fight it, don't even try to win
Best is to talk to ur siblings to calm down, if possible they shld try as much as possible to stay off her lane, she says no gas, use stove, fine, that won't hurt.
If this continue she cld always make ur dad send y'all packing
Enjoy the little he gives now
Life is too short for hatred biko

@OP d poster above has said it all.
u shuld talk to ur siblings and try to avoid her. it wuldnt b long bfr u all leave home n b on ur own.

since ur dad takes sides with her...just find a way.to endure n ignore her.
submit it al to God in prayers and he ll always guide n fight for u pple.

#Shalom

She maybe the major financial backbone of the family. Ur dad would never tell you guys that. If she is the one contributing the major portion of the finances used to run the home meanwhile ur dad has the major number of consumers of the food and services, she won't feel happy if she is disregarded. She won't be happy if things are wasted can't s if she was living in her own house she will have more of her finance to herself. I suspect this is the reason your dad supports her and why she lives in North( work things). You and your siblings should try and respect her. Also follow her leadership and you will have instant peace. You will even find yourself enjoying her more than you thought possible.

kittykat1:
She maybe the major financial backbone of the family. Ur dad would never tell you guys that. If she is the one contributing the major portion of the finances used to run the home meanwhile ur dad has the major number of consumers of the food and services, she won't feel happy if she is disregarded. She won't be happy if things are wasted can't s if she was living in her own house she will have more of her finance to herself. I suspect this is the reason your dad supports her and why she lives in North( work things). You and your siblings should try and respect her. Also follow her leadership and you will have instant peace. You will even find yourself enjoying her more than you thought possible.

thanks for your advise..she's in no way the one providing the finances heck popsy even sends us to pay cash for her once in a while..truth is we give her the respect she deserves but her problem is she's just too bossy, trying to dictate to adults what they are and what not to do even my younger bro has been banned from receiving guests in the house, don't go to the kitchen without her permission and stuff like that (doesn't do that to me though) stuff is just messed up jare..thanks for the advise though

Hmmn. Its very painful when people who were kings in their fathers house become slaves overnight just because a new woman entered. What is my pot, my stove, my gas abeg? Are those not things she met in the house when she moved in? Please someone should help me explain because i don't understand. You all should stay away from her. If you can get your dad to be giving each of you a stipend so that when she decides not to feed you again, you can eat out. Try to be on your feet and move out as fast as you can.



Step mum wahala no be hia. I no wish am for my enemy.

@OP:

Good that you are looking for a solution

Truth is that you guys are no longer the priority. It is a wife/husband, children, extended for a married person. You did not notice because your father's wife was your mom.

Since he has a new wife, avoid her stuffs. If possible, get new stove and pots.

If any of your siblings want to cook, call her to ask if she's around.

It is well

If the wife was not ready to accommodate the kids, she should have left him.

On the other hand, hope you guys didn't give her attitude when your dad just married her

Dyt:
Sighs
U the first and I blv u can talk to ur siblings
Ur dad will always take sides with her
Don't fight it, don't even try to win
Best is to talk to ur siblings to calm down, if possible they shld try as much as possible to stay off her lane, she says no gas, use stove, fine, that won't hurt.
If this continue she cld always make ur dad send y'all packing
Enjoy the little he gives now
Life is too short for hatred biko

Dyt, kini gbogbo rubbish e gan? Mr OP.... Warn your father that one day his wife will be reminded what humility is and when she crosses it, abeg do the needful

@dyt, unless she uses juju on him , only a bad father wud send his kids packing becus of a new wife . op , record some of ur convos with ha without ha knowin , just hold ur cellphone's voicerecorder on hand or ur pocket , show it to ur relatives . ur dad , is he reasonable? pull him aside to talk 2 him abt d way she treats u , ur baby siblings , let him hear d audio . good thing he gives u money but better u r working for urself , in case he changes

kpolli:


Dyt, kini gbogbo rubbish e gan? Mr OP.... Warn your father that one day his wife will be reminded what humility is and when she crosses it, abeg do the needful

aflyingbird:
@dyt, unless she uses juju on him , only a bad father wud send his kids packing becus of a new wife . op , record some of ur convos with ha without ha knowin , just hold ur cellphone's voicerecorder on hand or ur pocket , show it to ur relatives . ur dad , is he reasonable? pull him aside to talk 2 him abt d way she treats u , ur baby siblings , let him hear d audio . good thing he gives u money but better u r working for urself , in case he changes

We see differently
That's where I saw mine from at that point in time
I don't support violence, she cld go violent if she wants but not the best way to sort things
Wisdom shld be applied
Living longer, one needs lots of patience

OP, call her, seat her down and talk with her. Don't threaten or shout down at her, heart to heart chat, like you would with your mom. Remind her that y'all look up to her, accept her whole heartedly and as such, you plead with her to treat you, your siblings as hers. Apologise for whatever wrong your siblings might have done to her in the past.

When you are done with her, call your siblings aside and talk with them too. You all need to stoop to conquer till at least one of you is financially independent and capable of taking care of the rest.

Violence and gra-gra is likely gonna get you guys homeless. Apply wisdom.