LordReed:


I like the pix you posted here. The couple say they FIX their problems not accept it because of love. Accepting fixable problems is foolishness not love. Yes a spouse who has anger management issues can be helped and indeed it is a loving spouse that will help such a one through the process but to simply accept physical abuse as a show of love is foolishness.

But nobody said anything about accepting physical abuse. Did I say a woman should accept physical abuse or do nothing about it? Didn't I mention the steps taken to prevent further physical abuse in arranged marriages of yore?

afolag:

do you knw sometimes they dont care about your feelings but instead they use you to settle along time debt or boost buisness relationship. contracts in most cases.
#thinkdeep.

.
This is NOT the norm and so shouldn't be seen as such.

I like arranged marriages. Someone else does the choosing, suits me just fine.
Wish we were still in that era

afolag:
suffering in silence, they don't publicise there problem. Wife or husband run back home to complain but the parents tell him/her to live with it.

Thank you. If women of old had the opportunity to fend and provide for themselves and kids, if the man would not have taken her kids from her as society used to demand the women not even try to take a mans kids if she decides to leave, some marriages would not even last 1 year back then. Most of us withnessed this as kids what our moms esp( and some dads) endured in marriage.

I disagree

Vickybee:
You forgot to type that our grandfather didn't claim it's a "man world" like the chauvinistic men of these days do.
A married man caught cheating would be disgraced likewise a married woman. No gender is spared...

It's high time what is sauce for the goose becomes sauce for the gander.

My piece!

But still, it's a man's world cause na man first come see the world, and na out of man them create woman.

AsanwaKC:
I disagree

Why you no agree?

Kentrasso:
I like arranged marriages. Someone else does the choosing, suits me just fine.
Wish we were still in that era

Why you dey talk like this? Man no dey look your face two times?

5minsmadness:
.
This is NOT the norm and so shouldn't be seen as such.

Your name na 5minsmadness na im make you give only 5 reasons? And na when you dey run the 5 minutes madness you take write them?

njuwo:
Why you dey talk like this? Man no dey look your face two times?

Actually that's the problem. They look too much and I don't know how to pick
Choosing is such hard work

[color=#770077][/color]

pickabeau1:
I agree love is mostly overrated
But i m not sure arranged marriage is the solution

The issue is the lack of understanding about how to keep a marriage n the collapse of mediating traditional institutions

True talk!
No one can play a game well without first understanding the game and its rules.

God save the marriage institution.

Vickybee:
You forgot to type that our grandfather didn't claim it's a "man world" like the chauvinistic men of these days do.
A married man caught cheating would be disgraced likewise a married woman. No gender is spared...

It's high time what is sauce for the goose becomes sauce for the gander.

My piece!

People like you who clamour for equality actually wants inequality where the female folks will be much more celebrated. Where the female is the head of the home. Folks who goes with the popular rhyme 'what a man can do a woman can do better' instead of 'what a man can do a woman can also do'. You are gradually change the motive of female freedom.

njuwo:
But still, it's a man's world cause na man first come see the world, and na out of man them create woman.

Out of a woman; a saviour was born.

Ewuro4:
All my Indian friends marriage are arranged , they seem very happy and content with their lives and so was their parents and grandparents. They are close knit family and always on top.

If I have my way with my children, I will stylishly arrange their marriage The idea of calling our family friends mummy or Aunty is out of the question in order to freely mingle with their sons.

So help me God.

If Your own marriage was not arranged, you better not interfere in your children's lives.

5minsmadness:

But nobody said anything about accepting physical abuse. Did I say a woman should accept physical abuse or do nothing about it? Didn't I mention the steps taken to prevent further physical abuse in arranged marriages of yore?

I post this earlier:

You are underlining certain things I need you to
clarify. Do you feel that "modern" woman's
empowerment which gives her the opportunity to
remove herself from harms way is inferior to
what you outlined above? Also how does what
you outlined above differ in outcome from a
woman simply refusing to put up with the
mess?

Yes.

Well,one other factor was that we lived in a very closed society in those decades where an unhappy partner was expected to die in a marriage or endure its agonies.

With education comes some enlightenment and liberalism which are fast previaling on marriages.Yes,liberty matters now than then.

To effectively play a game u must first understand the game and its rules. Understand marriage b4 u go into it, read books, ask questions, etc. No marry if u never know wetin marriage dey about- this should reduce divorce rates and a lot of sufferings in silence.

And also u should understand the person u want to get married to and ask yourself: can I live with this person? Can the two of us agree? If u don't think so, make u waka o bc a broken courtship is better than a broken or an unhappy marriage.

A lot of times esp. in these days, people get married bc:

He/she is rich.

All my friends are married.

Age is not on my side.

My parents want to see their grand children.

Feel free to add to this list...

pickabeau1:
I agree love is mostly overrated
But i m not sure arranged marriage is the solution

The issue is the lack of understanding about how to keep a marriage n the collapse of mediating traditional institutions

not again! Wtf did u mean by marriage's overrated? Marriage is a natural phenomenon that exist btw two opposite sex. For d dumb brains that keep chanting d slogan...get over it already.

Vickybee:
You forgot to type that our grandfather didn't claim it's a "man world" like the chauvinistic men of these days do.
A married man caught cheating would be disgraced likewise a married woman. No gender is spared...

It's high time what is sauce for the goose becomes sauce for the gander.

My piece!

What kind of misinformation is this?
How did men get to marry many wives plus concubines (girlfriends) sef

And you tell me both genders were equal.
If it wasn't a Man's world, why weren't women easily allowed as rulers back then?
You people ought to be grateful to the feminists of this age for making gradual inroads towards gender equality.

You are quite pretty though.
I think I like feminists tho. Always very decently dressed females most times

Vickybee:

Out of a woman; a saviour was born.

Yes, but still, it's a man's world. You can't call a she without a he in it. Things women go through, there are men in it, menstruation, menstrual pain, menstrual flow, menopause.

Vickybee:
You forgot to type that our grandfather didn't claim it's a "man world" like the chauvinistic men of these days do.
A married man caught cheating would be disgraced likewise a married woman. No gender is spared...

It's high time what is sauce for the goose becomes sauce for the gander.

My piece!

Our grandmothers did not claim equality with their husbands, they were submissive and recognised their headship

Vickybee:
You forgot to type that our grandfather didn't claim it's a "man world" like the chauvinistic men of these days do.
A married man caught cheating would be disgraced likewise a married woman. No gender is spared...

It's high time what is sauce for the goose becomes sauce for the gander.

My piece!

What kind of misinformation is this?
How did men get to marry many wives plus concubines (girlfriends) sef

And you tell me both genders were equal.
If it wasn't a Man's world, why weren't women easily allowed as rulers back then?
You people ought to be grateful to the feminists of this age for making gradual inroads towards gender equality.

Anyways, the main reason marriages no longer last is mostly because of awareness and the feminist movement who have taught our formerly unconditionally submissive women into women who are independent and won't endure BS their grandmother endured anymore.a

You are quite pretty though.
I think I like feminists tho. Always very decently dressed females most times

there's more to marriage, love is not enough

Elxandre:

What kind of misinformation is this?
How did men get to marry many wives plus concubines (girlfriends) sef

And you tell me both genders were equal.
If it wasn't a Man's world, why weren't women easily allowed as rulers back then?
You people ought to be grateful to the feminists of this age for making gradual inroads towards gender equality.

You are quite pretty though.
I think I like feminists tho. Always very decently dressed females most times

Lol, getting married to different women is out of it but when a man is caught with a woman who he isn't married to, he'd be disgraced.

Meanwhile, women ruled in some kingdoms and were fearless warriors.
Talk about Queen Moremi, Aminat, Idia etc

Women were revered as powerful goddess and worshipped.

Beautiful? Thanks though

Kentrasso:


Actually that's the problem. They look too much and I don't know how to pick
Choosing is such hard work

Try measuring them with their pocket rate, very necessary and single out the one that have a caring degree from the university of caring for screening.

Vickybee:

Out of a woman; a saviour was born.

Isn't it too early?

dicefrost:





Our grandmothers did not claim equality with their husbands, they were submissive and recognised their headship

I don't know where people pull out their facts o bro.

5minsmadness:

Let me open up a little bit here.
I've been in several relationships where I thought I was in love with the person and she loved me as well. But I usually end up discovering they are after me for the financial security they will get. Not love. They are usually in it for what I can do for them, what I can provide. And the moment I withdraw such favours their eyes start to wander.
I'm not interested in all the pretence.
I'd rather have a woman I'm readily compatible with, someone from a good family who knows what it is to be and act like a lady. Someone who won't fall instantly in love with me cos I came to pick her in a jeep. All those things are fleeting and won't last. I'd rather have a woman who respects me for me and has all the features I want in terms of a good wife and mother. I don't need to be madly in love with her, just know that she has all the good features I need.
The 'head over heels in love' thing can come after.

#Smiles... And have you found that person with these features you mentioned?
By the way, what time of the day do you show your '5minsmadness?' Lol.

Vickybee:

Lol, getting married to different women is out of it but when a man is caught with a woman who he isn't married to, he'd be disgraced.

Meanwhile, women ruled in some kingdoms and were fearless warriors.
Talk about Queen Moremi, Aminat, Idia etc

Women were revered as powerful goddess and worshipped.

Beautiful? Thanks though

You managed not to address the concubine part.
You're welcome.

Elxandre:

Anyways, the main reason marriages no longer last is mostly because of awareness and the feminist movement who have taught our formerly unconditionally submissive women into women who are independent and won't endure BS their grandmother endured anymore.

afolag:
suffering in silence, they don't publicise there problem. Wife or husband run back home to complain but the parents tell him/her to live with it.

And sadly enough,this is exactly what marriage is all about.