The car pictured in this note is a Mercedes Maybach,
Notice the 'recliner' rear seats, and the 'electrostatic' sunroof. The sunroof turns from opaque to crystal clear depending on the passengers preference.

But wait there is more

NOW, STOP DREAMING AND GET BACK TO YOUR LIFE! (BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT)!

WHEN HELMETS MAKE NO SENSE,

epi:

NOW, STOP DREAMING AND GET BACK TO YOUR LIFE! (BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT)!

How could u settle for that?

Why is your penis better than a credit card?  

(a)   Once spent it recharges itself.  
(B)   It is accepted worldwide.  
(c)   You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.



A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.



Women top 5 lies:  from the whitest down

5.   I am a virgin.  
4.   It is so big.
3.   I can't do that to my best friend.  
2.   I won't gain weight after marriage
1.   I am coming! I am coming!!!



A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says: You want to play magic. She says: What is that? He says: We go Home, screw, and then you disappear.



Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?  

A Kid replied : The legs, because every night I see my mum's legs up high and screaming 'OH GOD! I'M COMING'.



Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?  

Pupil : Because I heard my sister's boyfriend  say,  'TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY'.



What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain?  

Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY, IT'S SHOWTIME



MUM: Didn't I tell you if a stranger touches your breast say 'DON'T'.  And if he touches your pussy say STOP!

GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him  DON'T STOP!!!!'



GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES

9 INCHES -      Oh Shit, pain!!  
7 INCHES -      Oh, I'm in heaven
6 INCHES -      OH PERFECT  
5 INCHES -      UMMMM OK  
4 INCHES -      PUSH MORE  
3 INCHES -      IS THAT IN  
2 INCHES -      IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!!


**sent to me and i had to share****

LMAO! Nice one

she don spoil me finish

nice jokes

hmmn, all these from a lady

@ epi
nice one jare,
What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain?

Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY, IT'S SHOWTIME

gud jokes lol

elowa:

hmmn, all these from a lady

ladies do "it" why not talk about it. . .aiight.

Talkin 2 myself****

wait a minute -dani1luv (thin skin) is Mod. Might as well put the one (gabby) who run amok on here. Wait, let me think first


Thin-skin vs Run amok. . , . .hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (tough decision)


Ok, i am going with thin-skin. Whew!!! wiping sweat from forehead.

Congrats dani1luv

*****
J'ai dû le dire parce que l'honnêteté est bonne pour l'âme.
Bon Au revoir. Bonne chance. Faites attention jusqu'à ce que je vienne de nouveau.

Krassing De Border

A California Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the Gambian driver that, because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won US$5,000 in the State safety competition.

"So, what are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.

"Well, I gwan get a driver licence," he answered with pride and jubilation.

"Oh, don't listen to he, na." yelled the Somalian woman in the passenger's seat. "He always a smart ass when he drunk."

This commotion woke up the Ghanian guy in the back seat. He took one look at the cop and moaned, "Oh sh!t-ass, I knew we ain' gon' get far
in no teifin car."

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a Nigerian voice yelled out, "Hey! I mek it krass de barda yet?!"

Poster, I dont get you with your car picture. What kinda funny is that?

At school little Johnny's class is learning about medicines. Sister Catherine,
the teacher, asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.

The first pupil said: 'Tylenol?'

'Very good! And what is it used for?'

'It is used for a headache.'

The second pupil said: 'Advil.'

'Excellent!' said Sister Catherine. 'And what it is used for?'

'To help you sleep', replied the student.

Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: 'Viagra.'

'And what is it used for, Johnny?' asked the surprised Sister Catherine.

'It is used for diarrhea.'

'And who told you this, Johnny?'

'Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father 'take a Viagra, and
maybe yuh shit will get harder.''


Sister Catherine fainted.

nice pics nd jokes

@epi,
nice one.

Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story.
The following was actually turned in by two English students:

Rebecca - last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

----------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

Ass hole.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

B i t c h.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

D1ck.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

S l u t.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

Get f*cked.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Eat sh*t.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

F*CK YOU - YOU AMERICAN CROSS-DRESSER

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Go drink some tea -- w h o r e.

**********************************************

(Teacher) A+ - I really liked this one.

**********************************************

lolito

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in:
A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child's illustration.  It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint.  I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.  This photo is of me selling a shovel.

Mrs. Harrington

like mother like daughter