.

K

Use his weakpoint to ask him if you bothered about it so much...I will advice you to be patient, take care of your of ur children for now...This not the best time to know if hes cheating[He might deny it nd it may coz problems for u in ur marraige] Be patient nd pray about it...

Confront him in a mature manner. Dnt raise ur voice on him.
U can ask hin in d midngt.gudluck 2 ur marriage

Don't give yourself heart attack or hbp over uncertainty. My only Q is ; Does he share his car with his friends?

Let him return , have a heart to heart talk with him and show him the condom. His response , tone , and body language will show you if he indeed was the culprit.

I honestly don't know what the usual next action is in cases (infidelity) like this in my years of marriage. But my solution to marital problems is to talk, I ask him to put himself in my shoes and reason with me, if we can agree to a lifetime contract then I must expect many flaws and so is he, so fighting over these is irrelivant IMO, how many fights are we gonna have before you age yourself before 40, pick your battles and fight relevant ones that is detriment to your wellbeing and family.

You know where your shoe pinch so I pray God will direct you and give you the wisdom on how to handle it. Good luck

[quote author=Ewuro4 post=32529567]Don't give yourself heart attack or hbp over uncertainty. My only Q is ; Does he share his car with his friends?

Let him return , have a heart to heart talk with him and show him the condom. His response , tone , and body language will show you if he indeed was the culprit.

I honestly don't know what the usual next action is in cases (infidelity) like this in my years of marriage. But my solution to marital problems is to talk, I ask him to put himself in my shoes and reason with me, if we can agree to a lifetime contract then I must expect many flaws and so is he, so fighting over these is irrelivant IMO, how many fights are we gonna have before you age yourself before 40, pick your battles and fight relevant ones that is detriment to your wellbeing

jennybright:


He doesn't share his car with anybody.

Well, then I'm afraid he might be the culprit then . But let him return and hear him out.

I really don't know why some men just can't be loyal to their vows.

Ewuro4:


Well, then I'm afraid he might be the culprit then . But let him return and hear him out.

I really don't know why some men just can't be loyal to their vows.

Thank you so much

jennybright:



Thank you so much

I didn't do anything dear and I'm sorry.

Just hear him out first.


#CC I miss you

cc.. Toonoisy ,Lyndaroyce, Tayour, Greatgod2012, Madame, Bebe2, Naijababe, Damiso, Efemenaxy, Edwife , coogar, TV01, Peakabeu(?) , Bellong

Did he put it in a place where you would easily find it? I'm wondering why a cheating man would make it easy for his wife to detect. I am sure he knows you use the car too and you will soon find out. Unless of cause he carelessly forgot it. Or may be he bought it and was hoping to use it on you, if it a fresh pack

But you have to face your fears and confront him when he gets back. No need hiding this. He must explain why he has condoms in his car!

I am usually at a loss when I read this kind of thread. I honestly don't know what to tell you. You try to collect your thoughts before you speak to him, try not speak with anger and issue no threats to begin with. But you definitely need to talk to him about it, otherwise, it'd just be eating your insides out. I suppose his reaction will determine your next steps. It is well o

Pele

Mtcheewwww!!!

Condoms usually comes in a pack,finding 3 means only two things-he has used some or a friend gave it to him.
You need to act as maturely as possible,because men tend to use the manner at which you present a case against you.

Ask him if there is anything missing in the relationship or is he under any pressure (work,family etc..).Just make him comfortable enough before addressing your problem.He is likely to deny or find an excuse but that should not bother you because your mission is to let him know that you are aware that he might be into something shady and you will not tolerate that.You have kids to care for so anything is he doing outside your matrimonial home will only destroy it.

Give him a calm but sound warning,show him that you are hurting by this.

It is well.

Thanks all.

then they belong to him .

jennybright:


He doesn't share his car with anybody.

Ewuro4:


I didn't do anything dear and I'm sorry.

Just hear him out first.


#CC I miss you

cc.. Toonoisy ,Lyndaroyce, Tayour, Greatgod2012, Madame, Bebe2, Naijababe, Damiso, Efemenaxy, Edwife , coogar, TV01, Peakabeu(?) , Bellong

Gd work aunty,
Hmmm, i find it hard to advise in situations like this becos it makes me feel like a hypocrite.

If its me I will put on my private investigator hat and get to work. I will just pretend I didn't see the condom. Then wen I have all my facts then we will have that "talk".

If only pple can treat others the way they wud like to be treated.

You have been advised rightly.

You should talk it over and not with violence but in your cool, collected and calm manner.


He would either admit and apologize or deny it with a good story or back up.


My fear is, he may not change but would be careful not to be caught next time. Cheating can only stop if the guilty party decides to stop.

@ bolded, yup !

bellong:

You have been advised rightly.

You should talk it over and not with violence but in your cool, collected and calm manner.


He would either admit and apologize or deny it with a good story or back up.


My fear is, he may not change but would be careful not to be caught next time. Cheating can only stop if the guilty party decides to stop.

U must have been having blood rush
Shaking untimely
Not slpn well

For how many days u gonna do this?
Till he returns?

Mehn
I pray I have such patience oo
The drama I will put up will bring him back home in hours

Actually n truthfully
I can't say for u
But my present mood at that time will determine my next action

So I advice u to be calm like they have adviced
When he comes, infact make his fav meal, dress sexy
Welcome him with great sex
Oshisko

Nonsense and ingredient
In my own case
That man wld have been back in the house
Right and back
Front n left


Its not that I will kuku beat him
I hate to be betrayed
We must sort it out as soon as I find out

jennybright:
I saw three condom in my husband's car I didn't confront him yet because he travelled the following day and will be back by next week. My question now is how do I present the matter in such a way he will feel my pain or should I let it go. I don't want to have heart attack or high BP for my kids sake that is why I'm trying hard not to think about it. All the same I still thank God at least he uses condom to avoid bringing disease to the whole family. God bless you all.

Sorry to hear this, there is really no pleasant aspect to your discovery. The fact that you have to sit on this until he returns, aren't sure how he will react, can't be sure of what this truly means, or be certain about the eventual outcome must all be very worrying.

You are doing the right thing with your intention to confront him and you have been duly advised to adopt the right tone and timing. One good thing about having some time before this discussion, is that you can think long and hard about what you will say, what you will demand and how you will deal with the possible outcomes.

It would be glib of me to proffer advice without knowing more about you & your situation, your husband, or the dynamics of your union, but I note you mentioned children - you sound like you will have their well-being at the forefront of your mind in dealing with this matter.

I have been hypothetical today and will continue in that vein. I'll suppose you are in a marriage properly entered into, too which you are both committed. First if you have faith, pray.

Then think about what outcome you want and what exactly you are prepared both to do and to accept. Then when you have this sit down, ask for him hear you out. Tell him exactly what you found, how shocked you were, how it made you feel and your concern for the impact on your union. Then ask for an explanation.

Depending on his explanation - and I'm not assuming he is guilty, that he will admit it if he is, he may even go on the offensive - you need to make him aware that it is unacceptable if he did, and what you found implicates him in something wrong, even if he didn't

I'm here if you'd like to share more detail and discuss more - otherwise all the very best and whatever the case, may you find long-term happiness in your marriage and joy in your family. Be resolute, be strong.


TV

The drama
I don't mean fight oo
U can act up dramas to have ur man

I am not a violent person and not advicing to be one
So other marriage women will not think I want to brk ur home

We can't all be same
I as a person don't worry abt cheating husband
And I can't advice u not to worry

We are diff
He slpt home that night, why didn't u ask?
Are u scared of him?
And I read ur previous post, u have 3kids I guess
Wow
That must have been almost a decade in the marriage industry

My only anger here is why u let it stay this long before u think of acting
When he comes home just tell him

Ewuro4:


I didn't do anything dear and I'm sorry.

Just hear him out first.


#CC I miss you

cc.. Toonoisy ,Lyndaroyce, Tayour, Greatgod2012, Madame, Bebe2, Naijababe, Damiso, Efemenaxy, Edwife , coogar, TV01, Peakabeu(?) , Bellong

Thanks sis for the mention. Though I have little experience so I hope my opinion helps.

@ op,this is what I think you should do which I will also advice my blood.

Do not fight him or mention it over the phone reason being that you might act wrongly or say things you will later regret.

Keep calm even though it hurts and go on with your life. When he returns welcome him well (manage to put on a little smile) for the sake of your kids. And let him eat,bath and rest well. When its time to sleep, let the cat out of the bag. In a very smart and calm voice. Walk up to him and tell him you found something that you are sure belongs yo him,then hand him the condoms and leave.

** if he calls you back PLEASE that moment don't answer just leave the room and sleep in another room or with your kids BUT not outside your home. You need to leave his presence for that night to avoid the consequences of anger.

You would have him begging and apologizing all night and till the next day and until you forgive him. EXCEPT HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE.

You do not need any explanations (it will only get you more angry and feel more hurt )

Its either you forgive him or not.

Don't confront him yet. Allow for a reasonable time and buy a full pack of condom and place at a strategic position in the house where he can find it. If he ask the reason for the purchase tell him point blank he will be taking them in batches whenever he leaves for work since he is reasonable enough to protect the family by buying some as a result of the unused one you found in his car.

This method na"Conscience'' evaluation method.

Same old tales anyway

And

.

Finally

Nothing to add..

jennybright:
All the same I still thank God at least he uses condom to avoid bringing disease to the whole family. God bless you all.

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ,
His Son

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"
Let the poor say, "I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us"
Give thanks
We give thanks to You oh Lord
We give thanks

If I were u, d next time u want 2 have sex, just give him a condom, @ least dat tells him u're aware he's cheating. I'm quite dramatic, I'll raise his hopes very well after so much kisses&caresses, den tell him 2 hold up a second& give him d condom.

K

Ewuro4:


I didn't do anything dear and I'm sorry.

Just hear him out first.


#CC I miss you

cc.. Toonoisy ,Lyndaroyce, Tayour, Greatgod2012, Madame, Bebe2, Naijababe, Damiso, Efemenaxy, Edwife , coogar, TV01, Peakabeu(?) , Bellong

I honestly don't know what to say sis....others have given good advise though and that is to have a talk with him.

taryour:


Thanks sis for the mention. Though I have little experience so I hope my opinion helps.

@ op,this is what I think you should do which I will also advice my blood.

Do not fight him or mention it over the phone reason being that you might act wrongly or say things you will later regret.

Keep calm even though it hurts and go on with your life. When he returns welcome him well (manage to put on a little smile) for the sake of your kids. And let him eat,bath and rest well. When its time to sleep, let the cat out of the bag. In a very smart and calm voice. Walk up to him and tell him you found something that you are sure belongs yo him,then hand him the condoms and leave.

** if he calls you back PLEASE that moment don't answer just leave the room and sleep in another room or with your kids BUT not outside your home. You need to leave his presence for that night to avoid the consequences of anger.

You would have him begging and apologizing all night and till the next day and until you forgive him. EXCEPT HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE.

You do not need any explanations (it will only get you more angry and feel more hurt )

Its either you forgive him or not.

I think this is the best solution. Seriously you will be unable to confront him calmly once you start, so leave the room and avoid explanations for a week. Human Beings are weak so an explanation that starts with "it was a moment of weakness, the girl pursued me, I've been so stressed... " may end with "it's your fault, you neglected me, you're no longer as hot and exciting as you were before... ".

And that will hurt you more. Because it is NOT your fault, two wrongs will never make a right.

Just wake up and live every day for itself, try not to think and try not to cry in public and don't run to your friends just yet (when you feel stronger, go to them). In fact, take succor from strangers (Ewuro4 and taryour seems sensible and very few others here). The reason why is that your friends know him and if you guys reconcile, will always have it at the back of their minds he cheated (if he did). It may cause unnecessary strain and gossip with you guys. Random strangers don't know him and won't be in your life up close to be giving him side-eye and be pitying and judging you and unconsciouly being smug about the situation.

Be strong.