Less than one month after my husband and I got married—before I even mailed thank you notes for our wedding gifts—I found myself holding a positive pregnancy test.

Eight and a half months into our marriage, while we were still getting comfortable in our roles as husband and wife, we suddenly became mom and dad. I won’t say that our son was poorly planned—we were both anxious to start our family—but I will say that in hindsight becoming a mother in the same year that you become a wife is not for the weak.

The first year of our son’s life was the most difficult of our marriage to date and it is also the year I learned a very important lesson: My husband must always come before our children.

Don’t get me wrong; I love my kids and would do anything for them. But I love my husband more.

When I share this with my mom friends, it’s usually met with outrage and total shock. After all, this goes against the golden rule of motherhood, the one that tells us being a good parent means sacrificing all for the happiness and well-being of our children.

Putting aside our own needs for theirs is practically a requirement but I’m sorry, I’m just not buying it.

But, to some, the concept that kids would ever come second seems ludicrous. In a survey conducted by YourTango, half of the experts polled believe that wives should prioritize their husband over their kids. As you can imagine, the commenters were less than enthused.

And I get it. There’s no question that the bond between a mother and child is unbreakable. But I view my investment in my relationship with my spouse as one that is beneficial to our family as a whole. Prioritizing my husband’s needs decreases our chances of getting divorced; it also increases the probability that our children will remain in a two-parent home.

I strongly believe that modeling a healthy relationship for our children sets the foundation for how they form bonds when they get older. In my opinion, my husband and I are the first example of what being in a happy marriage is like. Our kids learn how they should treat their future significant others (and what they should expect in return) by watching us.

I think that raising them in a home with parents who clearly love and value one another is key to their growth. For me, this means putting my husband first.

With very few exceptions, you will not find our kids in our bed at night. If we can only afford to take one vacation a year, we take it alone, and I feel no guilt about soliciting the help of family so that we can have a date night where we talk about anything but our children.

In a few years, our son and daughter will leave our home and when they do, I want to celebrate a job well done with my lover—not sit in a quiet house with a person who has become a stranger as a result of years of quietly drifting apart.

Source: https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/why-i-love-my-husband-more-than-my-children-115951224483.html

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Yes we know


But to each his own
That's your view madam
Your hubby before your kids, congrats on ur choice

Some kids comes first
We all are different in our ways

Your opinion!
Life is about maintaining a balance ALWAYS!
Everyone has a place in a marriage or family.

Like pieces in a puzzle!

Irreplaceable!

*common sense wisdom*

The big mistake some women do is making or paying all their attention to their kids and forget about their husband.......this has led to a lot of disharmony in many homes

Na your own dem dey tell you o. Like it or not, this is one of the reasons why many men cheat on their wives. A few of my friends have complained severally, that they always feel like outsiders in their own homes.

They get home, see the kids flocking around their wives and when they try to join them, they somehow get "rebuffed". It's either the kids relocate to the room with their mom or everyone "scatters". I'm talking about good guys here, not men who scare and threaten their family.Why do you think men start spending more time outside with other chics?

It's because they get more attention from the girls. Dey there, dey form agidi. You think he married you just for the sake of procreation? Don't go give your husband the attention he needs. Very soon, you'll come to NL to complain that your husband is cheating on you.

Dyt:

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I strongly believe that modeling a healthy relationship for our children sets the foundation for how they form bonds when they get older. In my opinion, my husband and I are the first example of what being in a happy marriage is like. Our kids learn how they should treat their future significant others (and what they should expect in return) by watching us.

I think that raising them in a home with parents who clearly love and value one another is key to their growth. For me, this means putting my husband first.

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Yes we know


But to each his own
That's your view madam
Your hubby before your kids, congrats on ur choice

Some kids comes first
We all are different in our ways

markpenk:
Na your own dem dey tell you o. Like it or not, this is one of the reasons why many men cheat on their wives. A few of my friends have complained severally, that they always feel like outsiders in their own homes.

They get home, see the kids flocking around their wives and when they try to join them, they somehow get "rebuffed". It's either the kids relocate to the room with their mom or everyone "scatters". I'm talking about good guys here, not men who scare and threaten their family.Why do you think men start spending more time outside with other chics?

It's because they get more attention from the girls. Dey there, dey form agidi. You think he married you just for the sake of procreation? Don't go give your husband the attention he needs. Very soon, you'll come to NL to complain that your husband is cheating on you.

I haven't condemned her
Have I?

I'll say that there must be a balance.

As mothers, we're expected to be selfless in all matters, so my response to this post is actually to put God first, then yourself.

Why? Well as a Christian, God must remain a priority. However, after that you must be able to keep a finger on your own pulse. My children need me, and I know that I also derive a deep satisfaction in caring for their every need. To the point that I can lose myself. My partner also needs me, and he also gives me this feeling of great enjoyment. However, he shouldn't be the source of my joy and happiness, that comes from within.
If I don't take the time everyday to care for myself, my health, my looks, career etc, I won't be useful to anyone in the long run.

Of course, younger children will take up more attention and energy, but it's also our jobs to teach them independence as they grow. Not only for their benefit, but ours as well. A husband should definitely understand that and have patience. I believe that if he involves himself with the care of the child from birth, he'd have empathy and understanding of the kind of energy it takes to raise the child. It also helps the wife feel supported, and she'd be more receptive to spending quality time with him.

A wife, who puts her needs as a woman first will never neglect get husband. Once she understands her needs and desires as a woman, she'll see that a husband gives her what children can't, like adult conversation, emotional support and physical intimacy. She may not be able to give him 50% at the beginning, but if he sees her making that effort, he should be happy for the time being.

Now this is a matured, sensible response. Kudos to you maam. if more women made this kind of effort, I'm pretty certain that marriages would last longer, men would stay faithful to their wives and divorce rates would drop to an all time low.

lastnogood:
I'll say that there must be a balance.

As mothers, we're expected to be selfless in all matters, so my response to this post is actually to put God first, then yourself.

Why? Well as a Christian, God must remain a priority. However, after that you must be able to keep a finger on your own pulse. My children need me, and I know that I also derive a deep satisfaction in caring for their every need. To the point that I can lose myself. My partner also needs me, and he also gives me this feeling of great enjoyment. However, he shouldn't be the source of my joy and happiness, that comes from within.
If I don't take the time everyday to care for myself, my health, my looks, career etc, I won't be useful to anyone in the long run.

Of course, younger children will take up more attention and energy, but it's also our jobs to teach them independence as they grow. Not only for their benefit, but ours as well. A husband should definitely understand that and have patience. I believe that if he involves himself with the care of the child from birth, he'd have empathy and understanding of the kind of energy it takes to raise the child. It also helps the wife feel supported, and she'd be more receptive to spending quality time with him.

A wife, who puts her needs as a woman first will never neglect get husband. Once she understands her needs and desires as a woman, she'll see that a husband gives her what children can't, like adult conversation, emotional support and physical intimacy. She may not be able to give him 50% at the beginning, but if he sees her making that effort, he should be happy for the time being.