aakinyosoye:
I actually need to let off the lid off my emotions nd it seems I don't have anyone to talk to because we seem very okay outside, facebook and whatsapp are equally not good options for me.
I need to know if I am the only person married to a woman who constantly criticises almost all I do, find faults here and there and generates quarrels from almost nothing.....
the bad part is that, nothing is ever her fault.

rather I should understand that she has hormones and sometimes they take the better of her.
I am accused of never understanding with her and not understanding women, even though I work with them{ am senior registrar( trainee) obgyn.}
its really driving me crazy...
I am sorry for my ranting. I just need to vent and yes, I need help
I

klark3:
Weak men everywhere... Too many weak men in nigeria, I don't just know why...

aakinyosoye:
I actually need to let off the lid off my emotions I actually need to let off the lid off my emotions

aakinyosoye:

I actually need to let off the lid off my emotions nd it seems I don't have anyone to talk to because we seem very okay outside, facebook and whatsapp are equally not good options for me.
I need to know if I am the only person married to a woman who constantly criticises almost all I do, find faults here and there and generates quarrels from almost nothing.....
the bad part is that, nothing is ever her fault.

rather I should understand that she has hormones and sometimes they take the better of her.
I am accused of never understanding with her and not understanding women, even though I work with them{ am senior registrar( trainee) obgyn.}
its really driving me crazy...
I am sorry for my ranting. I just need to vent and yes, I need help

Ewuro4:
OP you're allowed to vent. Hit the gym and blow off some steam. It's okay. over a decade hallmark and can tell you it wasn't all a smooth ride, lots of patience and letting things slide for peace sake. But you deserve to be happy and nagging about it won't help you either. It takes two but since you're the one mostly yearning for attention and change, I'd advice you to work on your communication with her, call her , maybe your hands on her nape during convo, rubbing softly ( that's one of his tricks and my head just cool down and I surrender )... My lovely wife.... Blah blah ( you know what she's complaining about so adress them with that approach) and talk about it. Try it. It gets better with time.
****

That reminds me Edwife.. I watched "Keeping my man" and didn't like the ending atall. I mean the strongest couple's marriage broke while the crawlcrawl ones worked out? not cool. Not cool atall. I don't like that. It broke my heart

edwife:


Lol,that's what happened when you are busy trying to fix everyone "issues" and seeing yours.I learned long ago that all that glitter is not GOLD ,we need to be contend with what we have.

kukuruku156:
Bros you have just described a lot of us women to the 'T'.

A lot of us women do these things but we really do not know the effect it's having on our spouses.

Maybe she's reacting to a perceived repeated behavior from your end that rubs her off the wrong way. Does she often say you do not take her advise or respect her opinions? Maybe that is what is causing the raging hormones.

It's good to let off steam here as you have done instead of entering a shouting match with her as that just makes things worse.

BluStreak:
But how long can one keep up with having to let things slide or looking the other way? The painful part is that, these women don't know when to call it off and realize they are sowing a seed of discord.

justwise:


But why? That is what i struggle to understand sometimes, i wish anybody can explain that.

rather I should understand that she has hormones and sometimes they take the better of her.

Ewuro4:


It takes two you know? No right thinking person will start nagging out of the blue without any precipitating factor. Anyway , I believe many relationships are lacking effective communication; if she wants to talk about it and he doesn't wanna hear it , obviously somebody's demands are not being met hence the katatata we read on NL.
If you're not ready to hear boring dinner table stories every night and overflogged complain about the bent garage door that needs to be fixed ASAP.. Stay single.

crowns2:

Very correct. One bottle of Drostyhorf Red wine for you

Ewuro4:


It takes two you know? No right thinking person will start nagging out of the blue without any precipitating factor. Anyway , I believe many relationships are lacking effective communication; if she wants to talk about it and he doesn't wanna hear it , obviously somebody's demands are not being met hence the katatata we read on NL.
If you're not ready to hear boring dinner table stories every night and overflogged complain about the bent garage door that needs to be fixed ASAP.. Stay single.

Ewuro4:


Hmm .... I agree with the paradigm but a bit rattled by how it all played out hence the bad reviews the movie got.

so what's wrong trying to support your friends and still maintain a good home? Afteral it was from her goodness of heart and her home is not lacking as a result of this. Tokunbo is sexually satisfied and his meals were adequately supplied on his office table and on top, great desert a man could ever asked for. This same lady cleans after him and always waiting for him every freaking night. I guess my q is; Where did she go wrong?

You really believe that line of story? I don't.

It's with a heavy and confused heart that I write this email to you. As I speak to you, I just landed back in the U.K leaving my husband in Lagos, barely one week after our 1 year wedding anniversary.

Stella, if I tell you that I suspected my husband of being unfaithful I would be lying. My story is a bit long but I'll try to make it short.

I met my husband here in London 4 years ago when I was 23. He's British Nigerian and I'm British South African, he's a Doctor and I work in Advertising.

Last year, my husband decided it would be a good idea for him to move to Nigeria so he can start various businesses, while continuing to practise as a Doctor, and I will follow him after he has settled everything.

My work is very understanding so they were willing to let me go and I can come back if I change my mind because I'm very good at my job.

I'm a business woman myself, alongside my job I do makeup and I design clothes so I'm very driven and hardworking so I saw his vision and decided to support him.

After he left, I started seeing changes like he wasn't calling or returning calls as frequently but I understood because life in Africa isn't easy when you're trying to hustle plus he's on call most times so that means working 24hrs sometimes. (At least I thought)

Long story short, I moved to Nigeria to join him six months ago. And on the 26th of April it was our 1 year anniversary. My husband told me that he has to work so we can't celebrate our anniversary that day. Stella, I was angry, I even cried but I didn't let him see because I'm trying my best to be reasonable, so on the day I expected at least a card, a cake... Anything but I got nothing. Not even a good morning kiss but I woke up, made him breakfast and he left for work.

I don't ask my husband for any money for anything because I have my own, his friends come here almost daily to eat, drink etc and leave plates for me to wash and smoke in my house. I choose silence.

Well that evening, my friend decided to come take me to celebrate my anniversary instead of me being alone and sad and I love her for that... When we got to the restaurant, my friend and I were talking and I was telling her how sorry I feel for my husband that he has to work, she agreed that at least my husband isn't lazy so we thanked God and giggled about it.

5 minutes later what do I see? My husband walking in with another woman.. The same man that claimed to be working that evening. Stella, I wished at that moment that I was dreaming or watching a movie. My husband and I looked at each other, my friend was shocked and I was speechless.. Yet he proceeded to sit down with the lady. My friend insisted we confront him but I said no, God will fix it for me. We finished our meal and left.

When I got home, I prepared his things for him as usual for the next, because he likes eating breakfast when he gets home from work. Stella, this man didn't even bother to call me.

So I decided there and then to pack my bag and book a flight, and come back to London since he thinks he can treat me like a fool and il stay and smile, no. I'm a praying, woman. Even with my business and busy time, I still find time to go to church every Wednesday and Sunday

Since I got here, he's been begging me crying, promising heaven on earth. His entire family, his father, and my own family too have been begging.

His mum is like my own mother and she is heartbroken.
He sent me various emails saying he doesn't know what had gotten into him. That I'm too independent and don't allow him to feel like a man, and I don't ask about his movements like a normal wife. that all I do is cook, clean, make money and go to the gym to look good for others so he allowed me to be married to myself.

Please BV's, tell me where I went wrong? Is being independent a bad thing? I'm so free with my husband, I don't question him, don't snoop through his phone or question him, and I get along with all his family and friends, I love people and I'm not a person that likes drama.

Was I wrong to leave? Should I forgive?

edwife:


Well don't we read here everyday that a man still cheat irrespective of anything you do for them.It is a personal choice,maybe he was tired of the monotony,he needed something other than wifey was offering .

But honestly you will never understand what human beings want sometimes,you can't predict them.

read this story and you will understand where i am coming from....

Stillfire:


Wow that story...

He sent me various emails saying he doesn't know what had gotten into him. That I'm too independent and don't allow him to feel like a man, and I don't ask about his movements like a normal wife. that all I do is cook, clean, make money and go to the gym to look good for others so he allowed me to be married to myself.

Nigerian men are scary! These men scare me for real, I cannot lie. See his reasons.
Shivers down my spine, goosebumps on my goosebumps.
Hanhan... I'm speechless

Kanwuliajeje:
Learn to cook nsala soup like my darling husband.
There would be next nagging in your home!
Cooked fresh from yesterday!

edwife:


Well don't we read here everyday that a man still cheat irrespective of anything you do for them.It is a personal choice,maybe he was tired of the monotony,he needed something other than wifey was offering .

But honestly you will never understand what human beings want sometimes,you can't predict them.

read this story and you will understand where i am coming from....