I laughed after reading this, think I should share a little humour. Hope u wil learn from it.
Marriage Software
This is what a guy wrote to a Systems Analyst -
(Marriage Software Div);
Dear Systems Analyst,
I am desperate for some help! I recently
upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began
unexpected Child Processing and also took up a
lot of space and valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.
In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during systems
initialization and then it monitors all other
system activities.
Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and
"Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crashes the
system whenever selected. Attempting to
operate selected "Soccer 6.3" always fails and
"Shopping 7.1" runs instead. I cannot seem to
keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst
attempting to run any of my favorite
applications. Be it online or offline.
I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0",
but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can
you please help?
.... The Systems Analyst replied:
Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a
basic misunderstanding of the functions of the
Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade
from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife
1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT
PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run
everything on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0
and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife
1.0 was not designed to do this and it is
impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the
program files from the System once it is
installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0
or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more
problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child
Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep
it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best
as you can. When any faults or problems occur,
whatever you think has caused them, you must
run the.........
C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and
avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will
freeze the entire system.
It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\
FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and
eventually hope that the operating system will
return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance
programme, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, consider buying
additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and
"Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or
"TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or
even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child
processing has already started).
DO NOT under any circumstances install
"Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One
Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is
not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the
system will almost certainly CRASH.
BEST WISHES!
Yours,
Systems Analyst. Share ur view.