I am living in Germany. I have been living in Germany for the past 10 years and I must confess that I am doing very well here. My sojourn abroad has been a very successful one so I have every reason to thank God. However, that success would not have been possible, without the help of my German wife, Ella. When I first came to Europe, I came with a tourist visa which was meant to last for just six months. On arrival here, the first thing that was a priority to me was how to perfect my documents here so that I can live freely without fear of deportation. So I made inquiries from other Nigerians whom I met here on the best way to go about my plans and I was told that the best way was to get married to a German Lady. I wasted no time in doing this, because not too long after that, I met Ella. When I met Ella, I gave her the impression that I was madly in love with her and that I was for real. Initially she was reluctant to get into a relationship with me because according to her most Africans especially Nigerians, are scams, they pretend to love you so that you can marry them but as soon as they get their papers they dump you and that would be all. So she initially did not want to get involved with me. I had to do a lot of things to convince her and eventually we got married after a year. We have been married now for the past 8 years and the marriage has produced two kids, but deep inside me, I Know that I have been living a lie and that I really do not love Ella. I feel sorry for her most times because she is such a wonderful Lady, but I know the time has come for me to move on, because back home in Nigeria, I am also married, although Ella is not aware of this. I had got married to my Nigerian wife about three years ago. I met her through my younger sister and we both have a child together. I have been under serious pressure from her to come and join me abroad, which was what I had actually planned but I cannot allow this to happen right now when I am still legally married here. My Nigerian wife however is not relenting. She feels I have abandoned her in Nigeria, even when I visit at least twice in a year and we talk on the phone every day. I have been looking for a way to opt out of my marriage to this white lady so that I can be free to send for my Nigerian wife and kid, but, I am really finding it very difficult, most especially with the fact that Ella is such a nice lady and she has consistently made jokes with it that she won’t be surprised if I asked for a divorce. I am really at loss as to what to do, please advise me.


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Do you plan on spending the rest of your life in Europe, if yes then please tell your home based wife about your predicament, from what I learnt in your post; you said Ella already have a feeling that you just intend using her as a means of getting your papers and you're just gonna prove her right by divorcing her.

Don't disrupt the chances of serious Nigerians that intend getting into serious relationship with European girls. The whites already know us to be cunning and scammers, you don't wanna add more to that. Ella married you out of love despite her doubt about Nigerian guys, she sees you as a different lad, you owe her a favor for that and the least you could do is try to develop affections for her, you can do it.

quite simple! just ask the same Nigerian friends you asked earlier for advice. i am sure they will be of immense help!