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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Dear Dad, Here’s Why I Want To Thank You For Hitting Mom (1003 Views)
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Dear Dad, Here’s Why I Want To Thank You For Hitting Mom by Nobody: 7:45am On May 17, 2015 |
Someone just sent me this mail, this morning (I'm not the dad o), asking me to help publish it on my blog and here on NL. Dear Dad, I’m writing this letter to thank you for hitting mom. I should’ve written long ago, but it took me a while to realize just how grateful I am for the way I was raised. I used to envy all my friends who grew up in “normal” homes; with parents who rarely argued and formal family dinners every night at seven o’clock on the dot; where the loudest thing in the room was the clanking of silver forks on porcelain plates. In our apartment, even with the TV blaring as we ate microwave meals with disposable sporks, the loudest thing in the room was always you. But now I’m thankful for all those nights you came home drunk and rambling. Because of you, I’ll never date a guy who drinks too much or shouts too loud. I’m thankful for every time the sound of mom crying kept me up at night. Because of you, I’ll never marry a man who makes me unhappy. I’m thankful I got to witness how hard it was for mom to leave. You were such a charmer when you weren’t drunk, and said “sorry” so convincingly that even you believed yourself. Because of you, I know “I’m sorry” is nothing but two convenient words. Two words will never be enough to convince me to stay where I shouldn’t. As I watch my friends ignore the signs time and time again, I’m thankful you showed me all of them. I want to thank you because I’m over hating you. My big sister isn’t, and she carries that pain with her everywhere, into every relationship. I’ve seen what holding onto the past can do, and that’s why I’m choosing to let go. Domestic violence spans generations — you learned it from your father, and he learned it from his — but in our family, I want the cycle to end with me. I wear my past like a badge, not a scar, and so can all survivors of abuse, eventually. There’s no bright side to this stuff when it happens, and of course I wish you hadn’t hit mom at all, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel: we can use our experiences to strengthen ourselves and save others. Dad, I want to thank you for hitting mom because it made me the strong and insightful person I am today. I can see pain hidden in other people’s eyes like I used to see it in yours and mom’s. I can see joy, too, and all I wanna do is create more of it in the world. It’s thanks to you that I can make sure countless others don’t grow up like I did. It’s often the lessons our parents don’t mean to teach us that matter the most down the road. Your actions taught me so much about how to love myself and others. And I want you to know that I love you. Lastly, I want to thank mom for finding the courage to leave you years ago. Because it took losing the love of your life for you to break free from the chains your father wrapped you in. You got sober, got remarried, and became the best husband and father in the world. By the way, you’re still the loudest thing in the room… but now it’s the sound of your laughter. 1 Like |
Re: Dear Dad, Here’s Why I Want To Thank You For Hitting Mom by Whizpeter(m): 7:49am On May 17, 2015 |
Touching |
Re: Dear Dad, Here’s Why I Want To Thank You For Hitting Mom by Nobody: 7:59am On May 17, 2015 |
hmmm |
Re: Dear Dad, Here’s Why I Want To Thank You For Hitting Mom by chekasforchekas: 8:11am On May 17, 2015 |
I never witnessed it, my mom and dad hardly raise voice talk more if shouting. |
Re: Dear Dad, Here’s Why I Want To Thank You For Hitting Mom by TI1919(m): 8:19am On May 17, 2015 |
(1) (Reply)
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