Understanding your system
THIS IS WHAT A GUY WROTE A SYSTEM ANLYST;
Dear System Department,

I am desperate for some help!
I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn’t mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems Initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as “Boy’s night out 2.5” and “Golf 5.3” no longer runs and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Selected “Saturday Shopping 7.1” runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications, be it online or offline.
I am thinking of going back to “Girlfriend 7.0” but uninstall doesn’t work on this program.
Can u help please?
…………………….And the analyst replied thus;

Dear customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the “wife 1.0” programme. Many customer upgrade from “girlfriend7.0” to “wife 1.0” thinking that “wife1.0” is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.


Actually, wife “1.0” is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to Run everything.
You are unlikely to be able to purge “wife1.0” and still convert back to “girlfriend 7.0”,as “wife1.0” was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once it is installed. Some people have tried to install “girlfried8.0” or “wife2.0” but have ended up with even more problems.
Having “wife1.0” installed, I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:/APLOLGIZE/FORGIVE ME Program and avoid attempting to use *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system. It may be necessary to run:/APOLOGIZE/FORGIVEME for a number of times eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

“Wife 1.0”, although a very high maintenance program ,can be very rewarding.To get the most out of it,consider buying additional software such as “flowers2.0”,
And “chocolates 5.0” or “HUGS/KISSES 60.0” or TENDERNESS/UNDERSTANDING 1000.0” or even Eating out without the kids 7.2.1”(if child processing has already started).

Do not under any circumstances install “secretary 2.1” (short skirt version) or “one night stand 3.2”(any mood version), as this is not a supported application for “wife1.0” and the system will almost certainly CRASH!

All the best
Your
System analyst

that was so cool

Every word of it is true