We have newly weds filled with anxiety when they fail to achieve conception after 1yr of living together.

In cases where conception is achieved, anxiety creeps in the quest for a balanced mix of gender and expected to see this manifest within the first 5yrs.

Shouldn't there be a cultural shift to have only what you can realistically cater for and have reserve for your old age?

Both genders have proven to us that they can compete favourably in today's world, so search for specific gender should not arise as a reason to have more, other than you have enough resources to cater for them.

It only baffles me to see pressure from all fonts, without regard for if the couple can afford the commitment that comes with it.

...though some bring spiritual tone to it...for example: a child can bring open doors, so why not go for another to open more doors...

...couples having to talk about the number of children, the rational for that number and ensuring that they are aligned will be very helpful in managing the external pressure.