My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story - Literature - Nairaland
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| My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 6:38pm On May 26, 2015 |
 I will be using this thread to summarise my days as a fresh student on OAU campus... Keep up 1 Like 2 Shares |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 6:40pm On May 26, 2015 |
Bouncing out of my Dad’s transport machine with my Prada sandal and my supposed-fake versace round-neck vest, I had a sigh of relief after a very boring journey filled with the hiphopLESS jams of Ebenezer Obey and the warning notes of my Mum all which went a million miles East and North but still ended up pointing to the statement “Remember the son of whom you are”… She had been echoing it into my hearing ever since I struggled to scape through UTME almost a year before, only God knows why she kept repeating something I already knew more than the National anthem. Back to the matter, it was the first day on campus and the environment seemed like a reduced size and maintained population of Onitsha market. We were halted in a traffic jam some few metres away from the hostel gate, all hands folded on chest except my Dad’s which was firmly fixed to the steering as if someone was heading in his direction to hijack the car. I was just seated at the owner’s seat feeling like the best in the world, perhaps due to the fact that I was the first dude from my ghetto surroundings spending his first day on the campus of a reputable university…“Hey boy, go and check what’s causing this hold-up, if it’s something severe let me drop you here and head back to my hood”, my Dad’s thick voice interrupted my proud thoughts. I stepped out of the container and started zig-zagging as I hustled my way forward on the busy path of ANGLOMOZ. Neglecting and partially forgetting the main reason why I was out in the crowd, I was caught up in an unknown wonderland and carried away with the sight-seeing of fancy cars and pretty young girls. I murmured silently as different questions which were against my notions flashed through my confused head, I was like “No be Aro tell me say na children of middle class citizens dey come this school?? If na this kain cars middle class citizens dey use den which class my papa kon dey?? Lowest class??…No be Aro tell me say all this fresh girls go small and they go dey gullible?? Say I fit dey woo them anyhow as a fine boy wey I be and I never even see my level since??”…I stayed glued to a spot as I looked around… “See how this one carry shoulder up like say the whole world dey under her heels, she no even look my side”, I murmured as I looked in the direction of an obviously proud daughter of something like a drug baron, judging from the big bags and the number of neatly dressed elders following her. “O’boi this campus go hot o”, I grumbled as I continued my survey…“Mehn, see this chick, that’s my exact search match! Let me famz her by helping her with her bags jhawe, there’s no qualm about that”, I foolishly concluded in my mind and was about to make the move…Paaaaaaaaaaa!!! Sounded like the burst of a tire, that was a hot slap on my back from my mum. I was still trying to regain the blood that flew away from the slapped zone when I noticed the whole world, or to be factual, almost everyone within 100metres of range were looking in my direction. I couldn’t talk, couldn’t smile and couldn’t cry as I followed her lead like a prefix, grudgingly…She faced me and spoke “We’ve been waiting for you since, you were just there looking like a lost goat, you have started your rubbish again sey?”… I kept mute, looking desperately frustrated as I thought “Nd so? This woman no even sabi say na public we dey, I just pray say my new target babe no see me that time, make my first impression no soil”… I grumbled as I paused to adjust my sagging belt. TO BE CONTINUED…………… 4 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 6:41pm On May 26, 2015 |
Heading back to the car, this time around with full concentration, “Una don even pack sef“…I said silently as my big head kept swinging left and right in annoyance. I moved towards my dad, I knew he wouldn’t challenge me as he understands such adventures are necessary. He was still in the car playing that his so-called old school hit single by Ebenezer Obey, he just didn’t know how much those kind of songs turned me off. I decided to rest my nerves a bit as I sat at the entrance of the car with my two prada sandals still outside firmly seated on the gravel-like surface of Anglomoz car pack. For clarification sake, Anglomoz is the land space between Angola and Mozambique, mind you, I'm not referring to the Angola situated in the Western Atlantic Coast of Southern Africa between Namibia and the Republic of the Congo, Angola here was or rather is the name of a popular and the most childish hostel on OAU campus, where male freshers are deposited, likewise Mozambique, which is meant for those just-clocked-puberty girls who form as if they just won a competition with Nicki Minaj as the runner up. The two hostels are just opposite each other and some space like boundary between them is what was named ANGLOMOZ by God-knows-who and for God-knows-what reason, they will probably change it to my name one day, I believe, NO! I prefer changing the name of the school instead...What am I saying?? Gibberish... “Let’s help you get your stuffs inside” my mum said. “Seems there’s a screening going on there that I must complete before I can enter“, I told her as I pointed in the direction of the entrance where the screening was taking place, “Oya go and get it done now, if you like you can engage in a journey of a forceful return again“, she cut in.. I adjusted my swag as I headed for the screening, got there and I didn’t even know where to go and what to say. “You must be a fresher!”, a somewhat not-so-goodlooking huge man challenged me with his dragon-like intimidating voice, I swiftly nodded in approval… “Then you will need your online bedspace application form, admission letter, payment slip photocopy, clearance form, birth certificate, local government certificate, WAEC result, Post UTME result, Guarantor’s filled form, course form,#200 SUG fee and #200 ID Card fee for your hostel clearance”…He listed as I looked at him surprisingly …” hunhun, why una no ask for international passport? Or green card?”, I almost said it loudly as I wondered why they decided to pose a stress by requesting such much documents all because of hostel clearance. Well “Aro don tell me say dey go frustrate my life with registrations, seems that’s the only truth that weird guy told me though”. I proceeded to the car to get the documents, “what’s the news?”, my dad asked, “This people can trouble someone ehn, I was told to bring like 10 of my documents with #3,000 for the clearance” I lied to my dad with confidence as I inflated the fee aggressively…” Things are going off point in this nation, when I was still a student of this great citadel, things were not this hard”, My dad bragged as he reached for his purse to hand me the liquid cash..”hope this woman no go fall my hand sha, she fit just say she wan follow me go where dem dey do the clearance o“, I thought, as I stylishly checked if my mum was concentrating but luckily, she was busy with a call. “Hmmm at least , like #2,500 don add to my purchasing ability, I go spend die for dis school!” I spoke to my ignorant self as I joined the somehow long but fast moving queue for the clearance. “But come o, people dey enter without any clearance na, and Aro tell me say I fit come back come do am sef” For clarification sake, Aro was a neighbour of mine who finished secondary school like 3years before I did and was not even in a tertiary institution yet, but he claimed to know almost everything about the school even more than an alumnus, so his job was to go from house to house gisting people about university life which he had never experienced, though 90% of whatever he told me were deposited in the LIE folder of my belief". “I’m through with the clearance” I lied as I concluded to get it done sometimes later. “Let’s help you move your stuffs in“,as expected, we unleashed the loads from where they were stashed, I was instructed to carry an obviously heavy baggage and tightly packed Ghana-Must-Go sack packaged by my mum, “y dis one kon heavy like dis, sey na rock dey inside nii“, I murmured… “ I can’t allow you go hungry in school, so I had to pack anything that will last you a while without worries “, I blushed at my Mum’s reply which stimulated more strength for me to lift the loads. Strugging continously with my luggage as I strive forward towards the entrance with my dad bouncing in front of me with free hands…”chai, dis man no even fit help me carry small of dis load, well, na big man, e no go make sense if e dey follow me struggle with load for public“… I was still busy in thoughts when I heard someone hailing my dad from afar…”Oskondo d skondo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” That was my dad’s nickname in school, guess who hailed him?? It was that man that told me the requirements, unfortunately he was my Dad’s old school mate who couldn’t strive through the challenges of life and ended up being a hall warden…”I don die! Iffa hear say ma papa no catch me today,see how people dey stretch #200 to the man wey dey hail am wen me don collect #3,000 from am, e go wan go meet the man ooo”… I shouted in thoughts as my dad and the man’s conversation goes thus.. Hall Warden: Oskondo d Skondo!!!!!! Tell me you brought your son !!! My Dad: Yes ofcourse, what other reason would I have to be here. Hall Warden: Oh! Where’s your son? My Dad: Here he is, Come closer boy… “My dad pointed at me as I was trying to hide at a guy’s back, unfortunately, the guy was too short, the only part of me he could cover was my feet to my belly, my face was just so glaring” Hall Warden: Oh he really looks like you though, I think I’ve seen you today “I stay fixed to a point with all eyes on me, I nodded” Hall Warden: But you’ve not done the clearan…. “He couldn’t complete the deadly statement before my dad cut in with the deadliest question directed to the him…” My Dad: You guys are not trying o… How come the fee is so high just for hostel clearance  …I fainted in spirit while my physical self started singing silently “Yawa dey ooo!!!”… 13 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Hawlahscho(m): 7:05pm On May 26, 2015 |
Smiles........ Continue d story joo.... I dey here. where is this follow button self, I wan follow you like "family course"  |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 7:13pm On May 26, 2015 |
Hawlahscho:Speechless? |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Hawlahscho(m): 7:22pm On May 26, 2015 |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Toyade888(m): 7:26pm On May 26, 2015 |
bros abeg we dey wait 4 update o......i respect ur content and organisation |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 7:27pm On May 26, 2015 |
Hawlahscho:Yo welcome! |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 7:27pm On May 26, 2015 |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by princejenks(m): 8:13pm On May 26, 2015 |
Rotfl...mehn its been a while i laughed so hard while reading. Pls come and continue jawe 1 Like |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 8:33pm On May 26, 2015 |
princejenks: I dey come... |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Olanireti(m): 7:35pm On May 27, 2015 |
Nice to read your experience from the sch i also graduated from. But you didn't pass through OAU as a guy if you didn't stay at AWO HALL, OAU HEADQUARTER. Enjoying the story though. Proudly great ife product. |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Ephhay(f): 8:45pm On May 27, 2015 |
cum n update ooo |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by oceandivee(m): 5:51am On May 28, 2015 |
Nice story man....proudly unibest bt I still rep Ife too |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 7:45am On May 28, 2015 |
Hall Warden : Haba! I was not expecting someone like you to complain of such penny now. My Dad : But that amount is quite scary now, imagine me paying........... Just one more word from my Dad and the die is cast. I felt my heart almost bursting out of my chest, I saw my spirit outside my body, drinking yoghurt and laughing hysterically, saying “I no warn u wen u dey do am? No be me go dey inside u wen dey go catch you, i no fit allow u disgrace me“. I felt my left leg shaking like it will withdraw its support anytime soon… Then out of luck on my part and restlessness on the warden’s part, he cut in before my dad could land… Hall Warden : Oskondo! Forget that matter jhawe. Did you hear about Ashimolowo’s death? My Dad : I heard ooo. Like 2years ago. It was very painful. Hall Warden : So painful really, they said the same sickness that worried him in during school days killed him… Happy and feeling a sense of relief, though I was still troubled as I knew I was not out of the woods yet, it was uncertain whether they would probably resurrect my case. I kept a considerable but not so suspicious distance from them so I wouldn’t get noticed easily. “If I ever scape through this God, I will pay my first tithe with this money“, I prayed as I made a shaky on-motion covenant with God. The story is getting boring, get me a remote control, I need to forward it to a better scene…. Somehow luckily I escaped the outcome that could have been life-threatening, I couldn’t have been gotten so cheaply though. “Where is your hostel?“, my dad threw the question at me as we walked the the sloppy land zone of Angola hall. I caught the question and threw back at him an excerpt that took me 4hours to cram…”Room 104, Block J, Angola Hall, Opposite Mozambique Hall, OAU, Ile-Ie, Osun State, Nigeria“…That’s the verse Aro told me to pour down for whosoever cares to know of my room number. All we needed to do was just count the blocks down to block J as the letters were boldly inscribed on the blocks as if they were meant for short-sighted optician friends. We got to block J and the room numbering we could see counts from 1 to 10. Why they put room 104 on the hostel registration page was the question on everyone’s lips. “Well 104 means ground floor room 4, the last I checked“, my dad concluded..”Nooooo! I remember!It’s not room 4,the 104 means room 10, bed number 4, Aro told me!!!“. My dad was sure of his conclusion but somehow convinced with the way I said mine confidently. “It’s probably no more like it used to be during your days, everything now is packaged and the numbering system is now complex that only the smart ones like me can decode, gone are the good old school days when everything was simple“. I cracked some dry jokes as we entered room 10………………………. SOURCE : http://www.eduregard.com 3 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by virtuedagirl(f): 9:25am On May 28, 2015 |
Wow! so nice,beautiful and funny story u've got. tanks 4 making me laugh so hard. keep it coming 1 Like |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 12:43pm On May 28, 2015 |
virtuedagirl: Happy u liked it...coming... |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 12:46pm On May 28, 2015 |
On entering the room, we met like four hungry-looking boys out of a supposed-census of twelve. My dad greeted them all while my mum did the normal famzing as expected. I just kept looking around the room perplexed and with much discomfort written all over my black face ..” Which kain room b this, e too small na”. Imagine 12 students with potential squatters in a room that’s more or less the size of my room back in my hood. I took a look at the backyard and what I saw could make a man forfeit his admission. I looked up and luckily there were two healthy-looking ceiling fans, then I smiled as I remembered Lil Kesh’s line that says; “too many fans even cold don dey catch me“, though I later found out that the fans were never working. I sat on a bed adjacent to my bunk as I watched my mum arranging my stuffs and decorating my bed while she kept talking, advising my roomates to be of good behaviour and never join bad guys …”She no even sabi whether na dem be the bad guys sef”… I thought. My dad noticed the dissatisfaction on my face and told me not to worry as it was just a matter of one year. “One year? 365days? Very long! We’ve been spending just one day since and it seems like it’s never ending, not to talk of 365 days“. I thought. Skipping all actions to some minutes later, my mum was done with the decoration and they were set to depart. Then my mum said that sentence that always made my then unGodly but now Godly self inconvenient…”Shall we pray“…I noticed my room mates were looking so much interested in the prayer, only if they knew the last prayer session we had before leaving home was 2 straight hours with extra minutes to its credit. “In Jesus Name….” She started… 15 minutes later : Still thanking God, first step in prayers… 30minutes later : She was still on forgiveness of sins… 45minutes later : Prayer for parents… After an hour : She moved on to the main prayer point..Prayer for the students… Obviously the prayer for the students would last nothing less than an hour. I started feeling this usual feeling of dizziness, sleep drives in and was looking for a parking spot in the garage of my spirit, I was getting carried out to the land of the num. Then I discovered I was not alone, everyone started feeling like I was, as the sound of “amen” was fading off. She sharply sensed the atmosphere and decided to round off. If we tried that in the house then a hot slap on someone’s cheek would have brought everyone else back to life and back to reality. She finally ended the marathon prayer session and gave my room mates some chocs she brought out of nowhere I could fathom….”Chai! If to say I sabi say she buy this thing nii, I for don chop one when hunger dey fire me inside car o“. I said to myself. They finally set to take their leave as I decided to accompany them to a point where they would fear no more, then I remembered the hall warden at the entrance, as a sharp guy, I sharply changed the situation…”Ehmmm…Thank you sir and ma, I think I’ll need to go back now in order to secure my properties“…”But your room mates are indoors“…”Huh, those guys don’t look trustworthy to me, they look dangerous o“..I replied my mum by spoiling the dignity of those innocent ones. “Well, we shall send you some cash first thing on Monday morning, hope you have some that can last you till then. Be a good boy and make us proud“, that was from my dad, short and targeted. My mum held me tightly and emotionally, I knew all what she wanted to say but it didn’t stop her from repeating them.”We’ll miss you though“, she concluded. “My mum is actually the only one I will miss though, if I miss anything else then na class I miss“. I thought emotionally as I bid them farewell. Smiling back to my room, no more that daddy’s boy and happy that I was now freely all to myself to take any step I preferred. “So this is what they call campus,hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,nice one, I must not lag behind on here but before then, lemme enjoy the euphoria of being a fresh dude” OAU here I Come……………………………………………………………………………………..  5 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Mzbabytush(f): 1:51pm On May 28, 2015 |
Lol.....u sure u are at ur rum??...........nyc update anywaiz |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by ogaofficer(m): 3:32pm On May 28, 2015 |
make I book space |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by sheylarhh(m): 11:30pm On May 28, 2015 |
Mzbabytush:dats d same question i wanted to ask him... I think block J room 4,,,, 101= rum 1, 102= rum 2 and so on |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Mzbabytush(f): 8:34am On May 29, 2015 |
sheylarhh: |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Acekidc4(m): 11:07am On May 29, 2015 |
*Following* |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 8:26pm On May 29, 2015 |
Acekidc4:Love your signature...It takes hardwork to understand. |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Acekidc4(m): 8:57pm On May 29, 2015 |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 10:38am On Oct 25, 2015 |
Griiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!! My phone rang, and guess who was at the dialing end, my mum. “Hello, are you now in your room?Hope your things are still intact” She asked and I replied “Haba! So fast? Even if they were born thieves they couldn’t be so fast, I’m back in the room and all is well, thanks ma”. Just had to lie so she could free me on time. “Now I’m on a mission to replace my empty mind with an open one”, I thought as I entered the room. Then I paused as I saw a guy offloading his stuffs on my supposed bed, confused on whether I entered the wrong room, I had to go back and check the room number. “Na my room be this na”, I charged forward to challenge the guy after a confirmatory check. “Yo gee, whatsup with you, you missed your way? That’s my bed” I said that in my formed British accent as I learnt if you throw accent in times of argument, you will have an upper hand in winning. The guy, also obviously confused, looked back to check if there was another person I might be possibly talking to at his back. “Where you, na you I dey follow talk o, you yes you”, I didn’t know when I started bursting in my favorite Warri tone. “ This is my bed boy, you are the one that missed your road”, the guy cried out in a somewhat angry and intimidating manner, he probably had a stressful journey, maybe he trekked a long distance and he was looking for someone to transfer the aggression to. I asked what his room number was and he replied : “110!!!”. I took a journey into my brain to do the mathematics, “if I am to fathom this guy’s room and bed number the way I did mine, then it would be room 11 bed 0”, that sounded stupid when there was no 11th room and bed number 0. I was dumbed, looking like a lover jilted during honey moon and my mouth widely opened as all eyes were on me.”Where will I start? Packing my loads? What about the famzing my mum did here? What about the prayers ma mum poured here?”.. The fact that I hated prayers doesn’t mean I didn’t believe in them, her prayers were the only assurance I had for my safety in that strange hostel, then I had to migrate. The guy already continued with his offloading, he didn’t even care how and who I was. “Abeg come commot your bed”, he told me nonchalantly. I knew I was already at fault as I checked my own bedspace registration form and saw ‘Block J,Room 104, bed number 2′. “How come I didn’t see the bed number before? How come I believed Aro? Na God go punish that guy!!!Now I will have to start packing my things shamefully. No! I gats make them sabi say I no be easy guy, I gats prove stubborn a bit”…”Come guy, where is your bedspace clearance form? You can’t just come here and claim a space without proof”, I challenged him. He stood up to me and that was when I discovered how huge he was. Please be aware that the more someone gets closer to you, the more such person gets bigger, so mind who you challenge until you’re pretty close. He pointed his finger at his big head and then straight to my nose and roared “Boy! Boy Boy! How many times did I call you? If u ever ask me any question again in your life, I will show you I am the son of Okuraku the great Calabar bricklayer, and I will handle and tear you like we treat cement bags”. On noticing the fear and how shaky my body was, the room mates started transferring my load to my very room, I was glued to that same spot till they got everything fully packed after like 15minutes . At that time, the huge guy already went out, probably to get something. Then the room mates told me not to mind him, they referred to him as a mere bully that will soon be reported. “Me! Me! Me! I sabi wetin I fit do na, on a normal day that guy small for me na, I do beat 4 of his type back in ma hood na. If not that I dont want to create a scene as per first day on campus coupled with the fact that my dad told me expulsion is the penalty for fighting on this campus, I would have taught him the lesson of his life” I bragged stupidly even though I was still trembled inside of me. Through their reactions, I perceived the room mates already liked me, probably because of my mum’s generousity but unfortunatey, I would leave them for better or for worse in the able hands of a bully. I looked around for any left behind, in the absence of none, I thanked them as I stepped out of the wrong room and headed for the right one……………………… 2 Likes |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by EduRegard: 10:39am On Oct 25, 2015 |
Reluctantly entering the new room with a mean look, trying to form hard guy, the faces I met too were not so welcoming as everyone was on his lane trying to put things in order. A big-headed light skin guy broke the silence and greeted, “Brother welcome“,I looked back trying to confirm if he was really talking to me,”who be brother, elder or younger?“,I questioned myself as I replied him “Ya thanks” I could easily tell that he was one of those christian fanatics. I occupied my zone and started arranging my stuffs,it was already getting dark and I was quite tired, I then decided to rest my head.. In The Land Of Nod…. “It was John the baptist that rescued the Israelites through the red sea!!!”, “No!! It was Joseph the capentar!!!”, “The wages of sin is death”, “Yes, Jesus wept!”, “For God so loves the world that he gave his…”, “There is a man named Chukwudi in the bible, he was the brother of Luke”, “Anger is a sin, check Proverbs chapter 14 verse 304″… Random bible picks coupled with argument and unfathomable juxtaposition of religious jargons was what woke me up after some hours of peaceful sleep. Waving off whatever might be making the unwarranted noise, I tried to continue my sweet sleep as they kept arguing, but the statement that could not just skip my hearing was that of an Anglican dude, he said “Most of all the things we do are sins, only the grace of God can take one to Heaven, even sleeping is a sin“. I opened my eyes to see a full house of bible holders, they were all with bibles, manning each bedspace looking desperate to win the argument. I told myself “I refuse to believe these are my roommates, bunch of bible freaks, it must not be so”. I tried to console myself. Then I continued studying them like a book as they kept quoting verses, at the same time some were going off point while trying to be on point. The laughter of the guy next to my bunk was so annoying, sounding like the cry of a Gorilla. I wondered ; “How come this people already got so much along with themselves, is it not the same today that we all arrived…If these religious gangsters are to be my roommates, then it’s me against them all o cos they no go like me and I no go like them“. My phone rang and it was “Bolanle“, my secondary school lover. “Osheyyy baddest, time to do what I do best“. I picked the call and she told me to come over to her room. “Mozambique, here I come…” I bounced out of the spirit-filled room without speaking to no one, with the hope that by the time I get back, I would meet a normal set of sane individuals. Rubbing my fresh cheek as I bounced out of Angola hall, I was caught with a lovely but somewhat intimidating sight-seeing of boys and girls all in twos positioned at respective vantage points. I smiled at the wind and said “I will join you guys soon… By the time this semester is over, I will be winning this school by 14 goals to nil, meaning one girl per week for 14weeks. That’s the plan. And it starts now, Bolanle you are the first, so let’s rock and roll“. I adjusted by belt, cleaned by oily face with the new face towel my mum brought from Deaconess Eludire‘s daughter’s wedding, twisted by neck till it makes that sweetening sound, then hit my feet on the solid ground of anglomoz to confirm my readiness before marching forward and towards Mozambique, the girls’ hostel. It’s been 15minutes inside the hostel and I had not even thought of why I was inside. I was carried away with the cute looks of them girls, who says Nigerian girls are not beautiful?? Throw him in jail for 14years as it’s the same offense of being gay. They were just too charming, plus the fact that they were all carrying new hairstyles, who doesn’t want to look good on her first day on campus. Some of them were so confident like they have been in there for years, I guessed they were ex pre-degree students. While some of them kept greeting everyone like they were being intimidated. When it got to a point where I thought people started suspecting me for roaming aimlessly for minutes, I got back to my sense. “Why I even dey here sef, oh! Bolanle Block V room 110″. Then I faced the real mission of locating Block V, too many blocks I could not know which is which. “I too proud to dey ask for where block V dey na, it will make me sound like a fresher, i want them to see me like a part 4 student mehn“, I bragged stupidly as I walked down the paths like a king, you would really think I was not a fresher. After minutes of searching, I located the room, victory at last. “I don dey sweat o, make I clean my face before I knock“…I did that then put a sexy soft knock on the wooden door, obviously recently painted. “Who is it”, “Who is that”, “Yes,who goes there”, “Girl or boy?”…Like four unknown female voices echoed together, then I decided to throw the once-funny-but-then-boring secondary school joke, those days when we knock on the girls’ doors in their hostel and the saying goes like, “Who is it“, we would reply like “I am the I am that I am“. Then I threw the reply back at them, thinking they will all laugh it off, run to the door, smile at me and tag me the funny guy. But the replies I got from the same voices and more got me wishing the ground could just open and swallow someone. “Are you okay?”, “Be like say u neva ready to enter”,”Oponu ni guy yii o”, “You are so funny but I forgot to laugh”, “Your mates are not here, check the asylum”, “mtcheewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww”,”You are sooo boring you should be in Unilorin”, “You are the mumu that you are for real”, “Look at how he even said it, ayam the ayam that ayam, he must be an Ibadan boy”… Laughter filled the atmosphere of the room, within seconds I was already sweating. “Wetin I still dey do for here, make I just take to my heels so dey no go just open door to see the face of the fool o, I no fit allow dem see my face, No!!! I can’t make this my first impression“. I ran like it was the second coming of Christ and the criteria is on first come first serve basis, panting really hard, I took to a dark corner of anglomoz, sat on the floor, longing for oxygen. “Mehn this girls finished me o, no one can try that with me in my secondary school mehnnnn, I will see Bolanle some other time, I wont even tell her I came so she will not suspect, I will just tell her I forgot, no be me una no disgrace, bastardsssss“. Going back to my room, it was the first day on campus and everything was already getting horrible, the adventure was not being funny, the action was not going so well. I got back to my room and the spiritual air was clear, new faces I saw again. “Yo nigga, is that your bed?“, a new guy asked. I was like “Ya sure, what’s the name?“. We exchanged greetings and threw some introductions at each other. Our conversation goes like ::: David : Let's put our beds close to each other Me : No qualms (Looking suspicious) "Abi this guy na gay nii" David : I need to iron my shirt, throwing the best of swag tomorrow, i will be going to get my departmental registration done and I need to show some good impressions Me : Not only you bro, though girls are limited in my own department, engineering shii, but looking good doesnt hurt David : Really, I pray we have cute girls in my own department, which will most probably be, girls are the salt of life Me : This one that you are already taking of girls, I bet you are yet to buy any book David : We've not started lectures now, it's time to flex, no bookworming yet Me : Na true sha, bring out your iron David : Maybe you should iron yours first, are you still going out tonight Me : Not sure, probably. David : I want to go out and chill with my secondary school mates, we can go together Me : No qualms, hope they are nice sha David : They might be unpredictable at times, but they are friendly Me : Hmmmmmmm...... Feeling happy, I said to myself, “So good now I have someone that thinks like me as a roommate, na my guy be this“. After pressing our shirts and hanging them neatly, we hit the road. David : You no see the kinda people wey dey our room nii Me : Na wetin me sef wan talk now, before I commot they just dey disturb my peace with bible arguments David : Be like say some of them do Pre-Degree, say dem dey preach together for Pre-Degree, they con put them for the same room for here Me : Na our room they con put them? Which kain yawa be dat David : Me no get problem with them, no just give then face, they no go follow u talk shit Me : Me wey i hate make person dey preach for me, the one my mama don talk don do me, nothing wey dey wan talk wey I never hear before. I be sinner but I sabi how to settle my matter with God. David : No be only you. I believe in God too but I no dey use my own dey disturb others Me : Na so e suppose be now David : Na dem sabi. Let me call my people out Me : SharpSharp no time He called his secondary school mates and three girls marched towards us, like they were already outside. See fresh girls, I began to wonder what type of secondary school the guy attended, what sort of Nigerian secondary school produces this kind of fresh girls when my own secondary school girls are all looking like tattered baggage. He introduced me officially to the girls and I gave them each my honorable handshake while raising and squeezing my forehead to look good. Then I started playing my normal trick, forming familiaririty, famzing, “You look familiar, where are you from?”, Lagos she said, “Chai, me wey never go Lagos before“. But the smart guy never goes short of words, I continued… Girl : I am from Lagos, this is actually my first time outta Lag Me : Really, sounds interesting but I think I've seen this face before. Probably someone that looks like you. Maybe on TV, you like like one video vixen like that. What's the name? Girl : Really? Ya teasing me, anyways I am Tosin by name Me : Tosin?? Is it Oluwatosin? Omotosin? Ifatosin? Owotosin? Olatosin? Iyatosin? Adetosin? Babatosin? Erantosin? Oritosin? Which one? Girl : (Alredy laughing really hard) Oluwatosin.... (Continues laughing) Me : Well Well, I am *******by name, my mum call me ********, girls call me *********, haters call me ********, but you can call me **********... What's your course? Girl : Sociology Me : Huh... One of those courses, you guys are on this campus to chill actually, no stress. Girl : I know.. but the problem starts when we graduate, who will employ a sociologist in Nigeria Me : Smiles... Thank God you know. Pretty girls like you have no problem. Just graduate and rich guys like us will walk you down the aisle, you just hang your certificate next to the kitchen knife, you won't even need it. Girl : You are funny, I don't like the course, they gave it to me cos I didn't meet up with the cut-off. Me : Why didn't you meet the cutoff? You allowed that guy in your street to take your time? Girl : Not really, I'm not the reading type Me : Then you are exactly in the right department... We continued talking, ignorant of the location of the other guys, I did not even know when they left us. I decided to form rich guy, took her to the suya joint and ordered #500 suya for two, making #1000. To the shock of my life, the #500 suya was nothing more than what Musa, the suya seller at my junction back home would sell for #100, with jara. My eyes changed colour to light red, I could not cry, forced the smile as I gave the greedy suya man the money. We continued talking, we picked topics and talked across niches, it was like we were already liking each other’s company. It was already 11pm and I was feeling sleepy, the next action in line now is to tell her off, but before then I needed to ask of her number. Me : Lemme see your phone...Wow I love the colour, it's even Samsung. How much did you buy it? Girl : My Dad actually got it for me, I did not bother to ask the price Me : All these Daddy's girls sha, they won't stop intimidating us. Girl : Smiless... Abi ooo Me : Unlock it. She unlocked the phone using the popular android lock pattern Me : Yeee! Look at how hard your pattern is, if you were to be using Iphone 6 nkor, you will build a vault for it Girl : Of course, I didn't like it when my brother picks my phone and reads through my chat, that's why. Me : So you even have a brother... I did not allow another topic to germinate before I hit the nail on the head... Me : Do you have airtime, lemme flash my phone with yours so I can save your number Girl : Yap sure, go ahead. Me : It's a long day ahead tomorrow, maybe we should go to bed now and see later tomorrow, deal? Girl : Ya, deal! Hi Five! Me : Take it! Ciao “What a night well spent“, I said to myself as I stroll happily back to my room. David was not yet back when I got in, whoever knew where he went to with two girls. Straight to the bed. It was the first day on campus and a lot already happened, I already have a porter as a friend, a bully as an enemy, bunch of church gangster as roommates, a real gee as roommate, insulted in girls’ hostel, got a new potential girlfriend. What a day………….Sleep took me off……………… 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by sazy(m): 12:19pm On Oct 25, 2015 |
EduRegard:Guy nice one.....Abeg no stop ur story here i dy follow ur write up. 1 Like |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Jsam01(m): 2:06pm On Oct 25, 2015 |
You abandoned the story? |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Dayo4real12: 7:50am On Oct 26, 2015 |
Nice one dude, really enjoy it. Continue |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by proneurojosh: 9:33am On Oct 28, 2015 |
wow! greatext ife. come update biko |
| Re: My Days As An OAU Fresher - True Life Story by Nobody: 5:41pm On Dec 01, 2015 |
Boss wey u now!  |
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